Chapter Text
It took almost an hour to extract Tony from the press. The room had exploded after his announcement, and while he'd handled everything with incomparable poise, even Pepper wasn't able to get him away until he'd answered what felt like a hundred questions. Before he was off stage, Happy landed a hand on Steve's shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Better sneak you out of here while we still can."
Steve had let himself be bundled off to the car where he bounced anxiously, waiting for Tony to join him.
Finally, Tony slid in and pulled the door shut, then immediately wrapped Steve in his arms and pulled him into a close embrace. "Please," he said, words muffled into Steve's neck, "let me take you on a plane now. Let's go away. Far away. I need just you for a few days."
"Yes, please. I'd like that."
"Okay. Okay, thank god." Tony kept Steve curled up in his lap while he sent several rapid-fire texts and made a few phone calls. They pulled up at the penthouse, and Steve scurried off to his rooms to pack, laden with a suitcase Tony had yanked out of a closet. Not knowing where they were going, and too wound up to think to ask JARVIS - though hearing him greet them when they arrived was a deep relief - Steve just threw a random assortment of clothes in the case along with all his medicines, a few books, and his sketchbook, and wheeled it out to the hall to wait for Tony. If he didn't have the right clothes, Tony would just buy him more wherever they were, he realized, with a giddy rush of self-indulgence.
Tony came flying out of his room and nearly collided with Steve. "Ready?"
"Yes. Wait, no! I have to say goodbye to Joshua."
Tony pursed his lips. "I'm getting you a dog."
"Shut your mouth." Steve handed Tony the handle of his suitcase and ran around the apartment until he found Joshua in the home theatre, looking for popcorn crumbs under the seats, despite his cracked casing. Steve picked him up and cleaned out his vents then popped a kiss to one of his little lights because no one was looking.
"Beep."
"Okay, bye."
He ran back, slowing down at the end of the hall because the last thing he needed was an asthma attack, and found Tony in the elevator with both of their suitcases, waiting patiently. He'd changed into dark, fitted jeans and a heavy, dark blue, knit sweater zipped up over a red t-shirt. He looked tired, with charcoal smudges under his eyes, but he was smiling at Steve like he was his whole world, and he'd never looked so beautiful.
Steve powered into the elevator and slumped forward against Tony's chest, letting his chin rest against the hard surface of the arc reactor so he could tip his face up. "Run away with me."
"Yes, sir." Tony kissed him on the forehead as the doors slid closed.
The rush to the airport was hectic. Tony hadn't updated his passport to include Steve, so they had to fill out an extra form at one of the many customer service desks, and Steve had pulled his ID out of his wallet so many times by the time they made it on the plane that his fingers were getting sore.
Tony had a private plane that was smaller and sleeker than the other planes that were dotted around the airport. He helped Steve up the stairs and inside. Big, plushy chairs lined the edges and the entire back wall was a TV screen. It was like an opulent living room that just happened to be able to fly.
Tony talked to the captain for a minute, ordered drinks for both of them then sat down heavily in the chair next to Steve. Steve had his face pressed to the window, waiting for take off, but when Tony's warmth pressed up against his side he became torn. He turned towards Tony with a little huff and made to climb into his lap.
Laughing, Tony hooked Steve in his arms and slid across the seat so he was in Steve's, Steve cradled in his arms, facing the window.
A few minutes later, the plane started trundling across the tarmac and Steve glued himself to the window once more, watching them take off. "Are you going to tell me where we're going, or is it a surprise?"
Tony's arms tightened around his waist, his chin heavy where it rested on Steve's shoulder. "Nah, I'll tell you. I didn't want to be on the plane for ages so we're going up to Canada, northern B.C. to stay at a cabin in the mountains I have up there. It'll be about three hours. Hungry?"
The last couple hours had been such a whirlwind that Steve hadn't had much time to think about it, but when he stopped and considered the question, he realized he was. "Yes, please."
The flight attendant came in with drinks and a menu, and Steve preened a bit when she leaned too close and Tony's arms wrapped tighter and a tiny growl slipped out. The attendant backed right off with a murmured apology, took their orders from a good two feet away and disappeared again.
Time flew by as they powered their way over the country and eventually over the border. After food and a glass of scotch that Tony probably wasn't supposed to have with all the medication still working its way through his system, he slipped off into sleep, and Steve settled into the seat next to him with his book, letting his alpha doze.
He worried, at first, that now that things were different for him, that he wouldn't enjoy his book so much, but in actuality, he found himself enjoying it more. He was excited for those feelings and experiences to apply to him and for the first time in his life, they could.
After three chapters, and with the plane too high in the sky to see more than a sheet of clouds beneath them, Steve tipped sideways until his head was in Tony's lap, and followed him into sleep.
Steve woke to gentle fingers combing his hair back from his face. He blinked away to find Tony smiling down at him.
"Thought you might want to see the mountains."
"Yes!" Steve scrambled up and braced both hands on the arm rest, leaning over Tony to press his forehead to the window. Below them sprawled a vast mountain range, each peak topped with white snow. "Holy shit."
Steve stared all the way down the runway, nestled amongst a sea of green. The airport was tiny and a car was parked nearby, waiting for them. The attendants helped get their baggage in the car. While Tony was thanking them and shaking hands, Steve's phone buzzed, and he climbed in the passenger seat while swiping open his notifications.
Saw you on TV, Bucky had written.
How'd I do?
Your alpha kind of stole the show.
Steve snorted a laugh. He's good at that.
Still feeling okay?
Yup.
I wouldn't have minded them deciding to keep you in the hospital for another six or seven hundred years.
I know, Buck. But I'm okay. Tony's okay too. He's taken me to Canada. Steve blushed even as he typed it. We're going to hide out at his cabin for a few days.
Bucky replied with seventeen winking emojis.
Shut up.
There was a pause in texts, and Steve's attention was pulled away by Tony climbing into the driver's seat and starting the car. They left the airport and wound their way through the mountain roads, lined with pine trees on both sides.
Then the phone chimed again, and Steve unlocked it. "Oh my god." It was a picture of Bucky and another alpha, who must have been Sam, because their heads were pressed close together and there was a splash of pink across Bucky's cheeks.
Have a nice honeymoon, Stevie. Sam says hi.
!!!!! HI SAM!!! TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM. Steve added every emoji he could find.
"What are you giggling about?" Tony asked affectionately.
"Buck sent a pic of him and Sam. Looking rather snuggly, too."
"Ah!" Tony smacked a palm against the steering wheel. "Good for them. Remind me to send them a toaster or something. Or a car. Do they need a helicopter?"
Steve burst out laughing. "A toaster is fine. Please don't buy Bucky a helicopter. He's a terrible driver. It'll end up in a lake."
Tony slowed the car as they turned up a drive, and then a beautiful house burst out from between the trees. A wall of glass seemed to hang suspended in the air until they pulled along a little further and Steve realized that dark, wood walls framed it on either side. The whole house was up on a ledge so it could presumably peer over the tops of the trees and out into the mountains.
Tony wound up the drive and pulled into a garage that opened for him automatically. He took the bags out of the trunk and Steve followed him, wide-eyed, into the house. A short flight of stairs led up to a huge living room with a country-chic decor, layered up with lots of soft blankets and cozy pillows. The windows did indeed face a stunning mountainside, the glint of a lake just visible in the distance. It was gorgeous and remote and blissfully quiet.
Tony's arms curled around Steve from behind and he leaned back against Tony's chest. "Can't believe I get to do this, now." Tony whispered into his hair.
"I can't believe we're finally alone together," Steve purred. He turned in Tony's arm and wrapped his arms around his waist. His fingers tucked up under the hem of Tony's shirt to find a little skin.
Tony hummed then pressed his lips to Steve's, in a sweet, languid kiss. One hand came up to cup Steve's cheek as Tony melted more heat into the kiss and tingles flushed down through Steve's core to settle deep and heavy. Arousal twitched his cock full until it was tight in his jeans.
"Tony," he whimpered.
"Wanna see the bedroom?" Tony asked, sounding breathless.
"Yes, please."
Tony hooked his arm under Steve's ass and lifted him up, making him yelp with a startled laugh. He wrapped his legs around Tony's waist and clung to his neck as he carried him back down the hall and into a bedroom, kicking his feet a little so Tony would smirk at him and call him a "Brat."
Tony dropped him unceremoniously on a huge bed, and Steve caught sight of a stretch of forest outside the window before Tony was covering him over and kissing him deep and thorough again. Steve sunk into Tony's hold, letting his eyes fall shut, hands dancing up the back of Tony's shirt. Every inch of him vibrated with desire, Tony's warmth and solidity and scent surrounding him completely. But a stray thought sent a jolt of anxiety through Steve's chest and he put a hand flat on Tony's chest and pushed gently.
Tony immediately leaned away, propping himself up on one elbow, hand flat over Steve's belly.
"I have a thing I have to say," Steve said.
Tony nodded. "Okay. I'm listening."
"I love you. And I really, really, want to be with you, like this, but… I know no one ever believes me because I'm so old, but I really haven't ever been with an alpha. Never. And a few of my doctors have warned me that I might not be able to take a knot. So… I'm scared."
Tony shook his head slowly, back and forth. "Steve, sweetheart, we don't ever have to do that. There's so much we can have fun with that's not knotting. I don't even ever have to be inside you. There are so many ways I can bring you pleasure. If you just want a blowjob right now, I'd be fucking honoured to give you that. And I believe you. Of course I believe you.."
Steve reached up and twisted a lock of Tony's hair between his fingers. "I want to try, though. I really do. I want us to share that, and I think it'll be good. I just wanted to warn you so your expectations aren't too high." He huffed out a self-deprecating laugh.
"You blow my expectations out of the water every day just by being you. Can't believe I'm this lucky that I get to have you like this, that you're willing to be mine."
"I want to be yours."
Tony traced a finger down Steve's chest, then curled his hand around his hip. "I'm going to say this once, because I need to say it, and then after that, I'm just going to trust you, okay?"
Steve nodded.
"I love you. I love you - no qualifiers. I've loved falling in love with you over the past few months and I'm going to keep loving falling even deeper in love with you over the years to come. I don't need anything more. I know it was a misunderstanding, us both thinking the other didn't want anything physical, and I do want to touch you and kiss you and bring you pleasure, but I will still love you without that. I will still love you and cherish you and be completely faithful to you even if these hands never get to go below the belt, okay? So if you don't want this, if this is too scary or too much or too painful, either right now, or for forever, or even after we try, don't ever think for a second that telling me that is going to risk losing me."
Steve's eyes prickled, and he nodded again. "Okay. I promise I want it. I can't promise it'll work, but I want it."
"Then we'll try."
Steve popped the button on his own pants and started pushing them down, wiggling his hips when Tony grabbed the waistband and pulled. He cupped Tony's face and pulled him down into a searing kiss, rolling his body to meet his heat. "I want you. Make love to me?"
"God… yeah…" Tony breathed, kissing along his jaw and down the length of his neck.
He kept kissing his way down Steve's chest and Steve put a hand on his head to stop him from where he was obviously headed. "I wanted to try this time."
"Oh, honey," Tony replied. "Welcome to the wonderful world of foreplay." And then he swallowed Steve's cock down to the base.
Steve let out an extremely undignified squeak at the wet heat suddenly surrounding him, and his fingers curled, digging into Tony's hair. "Oh my god."
Tony slid back, arching into Steve's touch, then licked his way up Steve's cock, filthy and undignified and setting every inch of Steve on fire. This was nothing like the alphas in his books, who had been firey and full of need and desire, so lustful that they couldn't wait. And the omegas in the books had liked it, being taken and ravished and needed, but in real life, Steve was starting to see how that could have been a little overwhelming at first, a little scary. But Tony seemed to genuinely be getting off at bringing Steve pleasure, and that had a tight spring coiling low in his core, too fast and too strong.
"Tony, Tony. Tony." Steve released the hold on his hair and Tony eased back.
"You okay?"
"It's too good," Steve gasped. "You're too good. I don't want to come just yet."
Tony grinned and licked one more stripe up Steve's cock before shifting lower. He breathed in against the inside of Steve's thigh. "God. You smell like caramel."
Steve whined, rolling his hips. A rush of slick dripped onto the sheets and Tony groaned then pressed closer. He nipped at Steve's hip and licked his way over his skin to tease his cock again. Steve moaned and squirmed; there was another part of him that was so desperate to be touched but he couldn't quite bring himself to ask. But then Tony's fingers skated up the back of his leg, curled around the swell of his ass, then brushed, feather-light, over his hole.
"Oh my god." Steve's breath hitched and his eyes welled up. It was so overwhelming.
"You okay?" Tony breathed against his skin.
"Yes. Please. I'm - more?"
"Okay, honey. It's okay. Keep breathing. Slow down." Tony sat back a little and Steve whined at the loss of contact. "It's okay. Do you want to roll over? Might be more comfortable."
Steve nodded and Tony helped him shift his hips up and around until he was on his stomach, clutching the pillow with both arms. Tony ran his palms up the back of both of Steve's thighs, huge and hot, and trails of tingling anticipation followed them up. He parted Steve's ass then the tips of his thumbs ghosted around Steve's rim and Steve cried out. He'd never needed anything like this, not even in the throes of his heat. His body begged for Tony, begged to complete their bond, be claimed, possessed, completed.
"I can't wait," he whined.
Tony settled heavy against his legs and pressed a soft kiss to the curve of Steve's ass. "Keep breathing, baby. I've got you." Then his tongue laved up and over Steve's hole.
"Oh! For fuck's - huuugh."
Tony's tongue was hot and wet and he moaned between Steve's legs, lapping at the slick that was spilling freely now. He dove in without reservation and Steve's cheeks were soon as hot as his aching hole. All the times he'd wondered what his first time would be like, he'd never imagined his alpha doing this for him, lying between his legs and licking him loose and begging. He'd read about throat knotting and he knew an omega could come just from having their cock touched, but using their mouth was something omegas did to please their alphas, not the other way around.
And yet Tony was showing no signs of impatience. Was he hard? Was he enjoying it? Tony's tongue pressing past Steve's rim pushed him out of his spiralling thoughts and he arched back against him, seeking more or maybe just needing to move.
"Fuck, honey, you taste so good," Tony groaned thickly, kissing and sucking his way up to the small of Steve's back.
"Tony, I need - I need." Steve couldn't articulate what he needed, but he was empty and desperate and rutting against the soft, silken sheets wasn't enough to get him anything other than more riled up.
"You sure?" Tony's weight settled over Steve's back and his hand went to his neck, squeezing gently. He nosed up under Steve's ear, breathing him in and rubbing the glands there to flood the room with more of his needy scent. "I can suck you off, let you ride my fingers, whatever you want, and we can take a break. We have all the time in the world, sweetheart. No rush."
"I'm - maybe…" Steve's head was spinning. But when Tony shifted to pull away, and made space for the thought of not getting knotted to worm its way in, Steve stopped him with a whine. "No, no. I want to try. Please don't stop. I want to feel you. Even if we can't go all the way - fuck me, please?"
"Jesus Christ," Tony choked out. "The things you do to me. Goddamn helpless." He rubbed the back of Steve's neck again and kissed him on the shoulder. "Okay. Okay. I'm going to go real slow and you're going to keep talking to me, right? And you're going to keep breathing. Cause if either of those things starts to go, we are stopping and using your inhaler and having some Gatorade, and -"
Steve barked out a giddy, shattered laugh. "Yes, yes! Okay, I get it. I'll talk, I'll breathe. Now fuck me, alpha, please."
"Nuh." Tony's hand skated back down and a finger pushed into Steve's hole, followed shortly by another. Steve could feel how wet he was, but instead of feeling embarrassed it just wound him up further. He was ready. He'd doubted since puberty that he'd be able to do this, but now that he was here, he knew he could do it.
"Tony, Tony, Tony."
"Okay, honey. Okay. Okay. Here we go." Tony straightened up to his knees and hooked Steve's hips to draw him up until his back was arched, ass in the air. Steve propped himself up on his elbows and dropped his face down to the mattress. Tony's hands disappeared and then he was folded over Steve's back, one arm around his waist, supporting him, the other tucked under Steve's arm, his big, warm hand right next to his face. Steve turned into Tony's hand, nuzzling into his scent, as Tony pressed his cock to his hole.
Tony was slow, but his breath was hard and fast against Steve's back, his lips ducking to press a kiss between his shoulderblades. The soft touch was in contrast to the breath-stealing pressure of Tony's cock, and Steve tried to breathe through it, not wanting to gasp and groan and risk Tony stopping. It was so much, but it was so good. Steve felt his body relax, give, accept Tony's girth as he slid in, slowly, one inch at a time. Tony rocked back then pushed in again, spreading Steve's slick up his length.
"Fuck, honey, you feel so goddamn good. You okay?"
"I'm okay. It's good," Steve gasped.
"I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
Tony pressed again and he sunk deep - so deep - and then Steve could feel the extra pressure of Tony's pre-knot stretching his rim. It felt like Tony filled up his entire body; everything was him. Tony, Tony, Tony.
Steve must have said that out loud because Tony murmured, "I've got you," against his back, then started to thrust. He started slowly, rolling his hips in a deep but predictable rhythm that skated the head of his cock over Steve's prostate with every back slide. Any lingering discomfort was washed away by wave after wave of delirious pleasure. It crossed Steve's mind, in a vague sort of way, that sex was supposed to be even better during heat, but he couldn't imagine feeling better than this. He was filled up and made whole, thrumming with deep-set pleasure he'd never felt before, and Tony's hot breath on his neck, his moans and gasps and breathless " Steve" bloomed satisfied pleasure in Steve's chest.
He was making Tony feel that good. Focusing on his alpha's pleasure had never been appealing before, too many times he'd heard he'd have to "lie back and take it for the good of your alpha," but he understood why being knotted was so romanticized in his novels now. He wanted to make Tony feel good; he was chuffed that even his frail and inexperienced self could do that. Tony's pleasure mixed with his own, winding him up in double-time.
Tony's pace started to pick up, and all higher thought evaporated. Tony's arms tightened around Steve, holding him in a safe cocoon, and his mouth went to the back of Steve's neck again. Then he kissed his way around to his ear. "Steve, honey. Steve. Tell me now if you want me to stop, okay? I need to know now." Tony's hips rolled again and he groaned. "I don't want to hurt you."
Steve moved to wind his fingers with Tony's, pulling his wrist over, effectively wrapping Tony around him and pressing his face into Tony's hand. "Don't stop! I want it. I can take it, I know I can."
"Okay, baby." Tony hooked his other arm around and gripped Steve's other hand, then he bent his face to the back of Steve's neck, breathed out hot, and dug his teeth in as his knot stretched Steve's rim impossibly before sliding inside.
"Fuck!" Steve came like a gunshot, his body rippling around Tony as he pulsed over the sheets beneath him, waves of pleasure followed by tingling heat that spread from his core out to his fingertips and toes.
Tony kept mouthing the back of his neck as he rocked Steve with short, sharp thrusts. And the knot kept growing, pressing deeper and deeper inside him. "Sorry, honey, this is going to hurt a bit, but you're okay."
"What - oh -" The knot settled deeper and there was a searing burn deep inside as Tony's knot finally - officially - took Steve's virginity. But when it faded, it left nothing but a fullness the likes of which Steve had never known he could feel. Everything softed and floated into an easy haze and all he knew for certain was that Tony had him.
The waves of pleasure evened out, longer and steadier, and he could still feel Tony's cock throbbing inside him, but somehow his presence didn't feel foreign, didn't feel like someone else. They were one, and he never wanted to be apart again.
Tony tipped gently to the side, catching Steve in his arms to hold him against his chest. They stayed that way long enough that time had no meaning, but when Tony's knot finally released and he slipped free with a wet rush of slick and come, Steve whined. He was sore, but he missed Tony already, missed how close that felt. As the head of Tony's cock slid from Steve's hole, another jolt of electric pleasure slammed into him like a truck and his cock twitched feebly, a second, dry orgasm shuddering through him.
"You're okay, honey. God, you were beautiful, Steve." Tony's voice broke, rubbing gentle strokes up and down Steve's side. "So beautiful. So good for me."
"I did it," Steve tried to say, but his tongue was heavy and it came out sloppy and unformed.
Tony seemed to understand though. He kissed the end of Steve's nose, whose eyes uncrossed enough that he could see Tony's pink cheeks, bright eyes, and the sheen of sweat across his brow. He looked happy; Steve had done that.
"You did it. You were incredible. How do you feel?"
Steve blinked at him, trying - but not really trying that hard - to shake the haze enough to answer the question. "Thirsty," he finally managed, and it must have been the right answer because Tony burst into hearty, beautiful laughter.
"Okay. You wait one second."
Tony disappeared for a long few minutes then came back with a glass of water and a dark chocolate granola bar. He also had a soft, damp cloth which he used to clean Steve's stomach, back, and between his legs. Then he helped Steve sit up enough to gulp down half the water and watched him nibble at the food. The calories and the water cleared Steve's head a little and he looked up at Tony through his eyelashes, suddenly feeling shy. "Can't believe we just did that."
"Can't believe you trust me with that." Tony hooked an arm around his waist and drew him in, kissing up his neck, behind his ear, then scenting him gently. Steve shivered. "I have something for you," Tony whispered against Steve's skin.
Steve's heart skipped a beat. One of those exquisite knotting wraps? He nodded, and Tony slipped out of bed and crouched by his suitcase. He unzipped it and rummaged around for a bit then came back with a delicate strip of silk. But it didn't look like any of the ones Steve recognized from the drawer back at home. This one was handpainted, but it looked a little clumsy, a little home made where the others had looked artisan.
Tony laid it out flat on the mattress and Steve tipped over on his side to run a delicate finger over the surface. It was the night sky: deep, blue threads of silk dotted with white stars and washed with the greens and blues and pinks of the northern lights.
"It's gorgeous," Steve breathed.
"It was a gift from my housekeeper when I turned sixteen," Tony explained. "Ana Jarvis. She was married to the butler that JARVIS at the house is named after. They did as much or maybe more raising of me than my parents did. I have a lot of other wraps, all gifts from foreign dignitaries and blah blah -" Tony waved a hand dismissively "- but I've always favoured this one, hoping someday I'd have the honour of giving it to someone who really deserved to wear it." He lifted it up. "May I?"
Steve nodded, a lump in his throat. But when Tony brushed his fingers over Steve's thigh to pull the sash under his hips, Steve almost wanted to change his mind. He loved the beautiful slip of fabric, wanted to feel it against his skin and know that it meant he was Tony's, that Tony was offering his love and devotion and protection with his knot - the literal one he'd just shared, and now this symbolic one as well. But Tony also wasn't supposed to touch Steve again until he took it off and the thought of even five minutes without Tony's hands all over him was almost too much to bear.
Then Steve shifted to let Tony tie the wrap in a knot just below his navel and a pinch of pain throbbed to life deep in his gut. Just enough to remind him that while the spirit might have been very, very willing, the flesh was going to need a break. That's what it was supposed to be for, a break, but this wrap felt like something else. In his books, the omegas always whipped off the wraps as soon as they could, eager for more, but as much as Steve wanted that feeling of being tied together again, he also wanted to wear this evidence of Tony's love, bathe in the honour that was being Tony's.
He smoothed the silk with his palms, fingers dancing over the stars that surrounded him.
"God, Steve." Tony's voice was rough and hoarse. "You look…"
Not able to handle any of the words Tony might have finished with, Steve hooked the back of his neck and drew him down into a kiss. They kept kissing, slow and easy, until every muscle in Steve's body was protesting too much to do more than fall back on the bed with a whimper.
It was still light out, so Tony took the big, heavy duvet off the bed and wrapped Steve in it, assuring him that the next nearest house was so far away that no would be able to see, even with binoculars, and carried him out to the back deck. A quietly burbling hot tub drew Steve's attention and he made a mental note to spend most of the next day in it, but for now, he just wanted more Tony.
Tony sat him down on a big, cushy lounge chair then disappeared back in the house. He returned with cheese and fruit that someone must have cut up and left in the fridge for them, and two water bottles. Steve lifted a corner of the duvet to allow Tony to crawl in behind him, a leg on either side of Steve's hips, and Steve leaned back against his chest, Tony's arms around his waist and the blanket wrapped completely around him.
Tony took a cube of cheese from the tray and placed it on Steve's tongue. Steve chewed the strong, rich cheese with a hum of pleasure. He turned a little so he was sideways on the chair, his cheek resting against Tony's chest. He ran a finger around the edge of the arc reactor.
"If I'd asked to leave," he said, "back before the gala, you would have let me go, wouldn't you?"
Tony tensed under him. "Yeah. I would have."
"And you wouldn't have let me just die on the street, right? You would have paid alimony or something."
"What? Of course. I mean, you already had close to two million dollars to your name, but I would have given you whatever you needed to be safe." Tony traced a finger down Steve's chest. "Would you have left, if you'd known that?"
Steve paused, turning the question over in his mind. "Yeah… yeah I think I would have. Back then."
"When did it change?"
"I think - maybe after my heat. Actually, before that, I guess. I don't know. At some point I became less afraid of living my life tied to you and more afraid to live the rest of my life not being wanted by you. That part didn't really change until I knew you did want me."
Tony's hand curled around Steve's cheek, cupping his jaw gently. "I want you. God, so much it hurts."
"Well, I know that now." Steve wiggled his hips. "You made that abundantly clear."
Tony growled, low and rough and smushed his face into Steve's hair, breathing in deeply.
"So… If… if you wanted me for that long, why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me you wanted this?"
Tony traced the curve of Steve's bottom lip. "You seemed scared of me, right from the start. You told me during your heat that you didn't want an alpha like that and I promised you I'd never touch you. I never wanted to make you feel like it was something you had to do. And after you told me how much of your freedom I'd inadvertently robbed from you, it felt like there was no way to say it that wouldn't feel like an obligation. I don't want you to ever feel like your freedom or your safety is contingent on making me happy. It isn't. At least not in any way I'm able to prevent."
"I appreciate that. I really do. I thought you didn't think of me like that, though." Steve laughed. "At first because you showed no interest at all in me from an… uh… alpha perspective, and then because I all but threw myself at you more than once and you gently rebuffed me each time."
"I didn't want you in - in -" Tony spluttered "- apology or something. Or as a thank you. I wanted you because you wanted to be with me, which most of the time you very clearly didn't. There was a lot I did wrong when you first showed up and I'm sorry about that, but making you think I didn't want you like that was a mistake too, I guess. Where do you draw the line between giving you your space and making a reasonable move?" Tony looked genuinely bewildered.
Steve couldn't help but laugh at an alpha unsure of how to tell his bonded omega he had feelings for him. Not that he hadn't spent months in the same position. "I don't know. Maybe it always had to be me who made the first move. It worked out anyway, didn't it?"
"It did."
Steve traced the edge of the arc reactor. "That was you in the alley. With the two alphas who attacked me. I can't believe you were Iron Man all this time. That hasn't really sunk in yet, has it?"
Tony smiled. "Yeah, that was me in the alley. Nearly tore their dicks off for daring to touch you, but I didn't want to give myself away. And thankfully the police came right after you left cause if I'd been left alone with them…"
Steve shuddered at the growling possession in Tony's voice. He didn't want to like it, but he did, like dark, bitter chocolate, buttery and rich, but sinful too. "Thank you."
Tony merely kissed him on the forehead in reply.
After a long, quiet moment, Steve burrowed deeper into their nest with a soft sigh. "I'm so glad I didn't leave."
"Me too," Tony husked out.
They fell into silence, listening to the rustle of the trees and the calls of the birds. It was warm in Steve's little cocoon and Tony's fingers never stopped their gentle explorations, carefully avoiding the knotting wrap but touching Steve everywhere else.
"Hey, Tony?" Steve asked, when his mind couldn't quite seem to rest completely.
"Yeah?"
"What about Iron Man?"
"What about Iron Man?"
"What's your plan?"
"Good lord, Steve. If you think I have a plan for anything ever, then you don't know me as well as I thought you did."
Steve snorted out a laugh. "I just meant… with Stane stopped, and once the black market weapons are all destroyed, are you going to keep putting the armour on? Especially now that everyone knows it's you?"
Tony was quiet for a long time. "Yeah… yeah I think so. It doesn't feel done. It wasn't just about the weapons, I think there are - I think there are things… SHIELD wants to talk to me. I want to keep putting it on, yeah. Is that okay with you?"
Steve nodded against Tony's chest. "It's a bit scary, but it's good, too. We'll just have to talk, you know, about telling me where you are and stuff like that. It's the not knowing I can't do."
"Okay. Okay, we'll get things set up back home. Tracking and JARVIS and suit updates or whatever you need."
"Good."
They stayed outside until the sun dipped below the tree line and it was too cold, Tony telling Steve stories of everything he'd done as Iron Man over the last few months. Everything started to click together as Tony talked - how he'd seemed drunk and disoriented, which was actually from the repulsor boots malfunctioning and crashing him into a wall - the late nights "working" the bruises, the secrecy, the lying. Everything was either to hide the arc reactor or hide Iron Man. And it still stung, a little, that Tony had never told Steve, never trusted him to know, but, well, they'd ended up here after all, and here felt like exactly where they were supposed to end up.
When Steve started to shiver, they made their way back into the house. Keeping the duvet wrapped around him like an enormous, billowy cape, Steve shuffled into his room and dug around in his bag until he found a very particular sock. Inside the sock was a little, velvet box. He shuffled back out to the living room where Tony was sprawled on the couch with the TV remote, and he tugged the remote out of Tony's hands before he could pick something. He straddled Tony's hips, the duvet scrunching up awkwardly around him, and Tony half sat up to brush his fingers back through Steve's hair with a soft smile.
"How you feeling?"
"Wonderful. Or I was. But now I'm kind of nervous."
"What are you nervous about, honey?" Tony sat all the way up, keeping Steve in his lap with two arms wrapped around the fluffy marshmallow that was his cocoon. "You know the whole wrap thing…" Tony blushed a little. "It's just a silly tradition. You can take it off anytime and I won't - I mean not until you want me to. Even if that's never again. But I'm not -"
Steve quieted him with a finger against Tony's lips and grinned. "You're adorable. No, that's not why I'm nervous. That was amazing and I want to do that again, very soon. When I take this off, I expect you to ravish me," Steve finished against Tony's lips, words a bare breath, and he felt Tony shudder from head to foot. "No, that's not what I'm nervous about." He sat back again, all his weight on Tony's thighs.
"Then what -?"
"This." Steve parted the blanket and held up the little box. "I designed it," he admitted. "JARVIS helped me order it from somewhere that can turn art into jewelry. I got it a little while ago. But you never talked about bonding rings, so I thought maybe it was a bad idea and I shouldn't give it to you. But if I'm entirely honest, I'd really like you to wear something, if you can, if you're willing. I want everyone to know you're mine. If you don't like this one, we'll pick something else. I just -"
Tony took the box and pried the lid open.
It was a thick, titanium band, squared off, but not sharp enough to look aggressive. On the surface were two vertical lines and two indentations, with a series of horizontal lines engraved between them, cross-crossing in a pattern like the sketches Steve did of the New York skyline. One of the indentations had a tiny, delicate, deep red stone and the other had a bright blue stone. Two-point perspective, one for Tony, one for Steve.
Tony tugged it out and held it up to the light. He traced the lines with one delicate fingertip. "It's beautiful." His voice cracked and broke. "Thank you."
"You don't have to wear it."
"Of course I want to wear it. It's perfect." He pressed a firm kiss to Steve's lips. Then smiled cheekily. "I'm not sure it's enough, though. I was thinking maybe a shirt that says -" he drew his hand across his chest "- property of Steve "Risky" Rogers. Or maybe a band that follows me around and sings songs about you and how great you are and how in love with you I am."
Steve took the ring from Tony and, laughing, slid it onto his finger. It gleamed there, a perfect fit, and something that had still been a bit uncertain settled in Steve's chest.
"Maybe skywriting," Tony went on, his eyes fixed solidly on the ring, shining with dampness.
"I love you," Steve said.
"I love you, too." Tony spun the ring once around his finger then grabbed both of Steve's hands in his. "I tried to order you one, maybe a hundred times. At first, because it seemed like a good idea, show you were taken, give the press something to photograph. But then nothing seemed right. And the more and more I fell for you, the more I couldn't choose. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I don't know that I would have wanted to wear it, anyway. Might have just reminded me of what I couldn't have. But now? You'd better get me something, buster. Even if it's just a twist tie wrapped in a circle. I want everyone to know I belong to you, too."
"As soon as we get back."
"Keep me forever," Steve whispered, sinking closer.
"Okay," Tony breathed. And Steve was finding he hated that word a lot less now.
Steve pressed forward until he found Tony's lips then guided him down flat on the couch again. He could feel Tony's body coming to life under him and his own responded with a low throb and rush of slick. He didn't feel sore anymore. He didn't feel anything but Tony, Tony, Tony, and he wanted more of him, every inch of him. He'd never get sick of feeling so connected to him that they couldn't be pulled apart.
Steve leaned back and let the blanket fall from his shoulders then brought his fingers to the knot just below his belly button. Tony pushed up on his elbows to watch as Steve tugged the end free then untwisted the point of the wrap and let the soft silk slide from his hips to pool over his thighs and Tony's stomach. Tony ran both hands up Steve's legs, under the gathered fabric until his thumbs rested on Steve's hips, then he drew him back down into a fevered kiss.
Steve thought about all the ways he'd drawn Tony, the times he'd meant to, and the times he'd thought he was drawing Iron Man, or one of the heroes from his stories, instead. But they were all Tony. He just needed another point on the horizon to see it.
And Tony had needed another point to see him, too.
They were never going to agree on everything, perhaps they were even going to disagree on most things, but Steve knew now that all he had to do was peek around the corner to see things from Tony's perspective. Being bonded to Tony Stark - and Iron Man - was going to be a wild ride, but he knew how to lean into the corners now, and most importantly of all, he knew he was loved. Heart-stopping, wind-swept, moment-breaking, romantic love.
They were going to be okay.