Chapter Text
“So…you used to date Robin?”
“For about a year, yeah, but that was, like, six years ago? Wow, has it really been that long? Put it this way, we broke up before Marshall and Lily got married, and she is now pregnant with baby number two.”
“Isn’t that weird?” Tracy’s brown eyes were big and emotive, but unlike every time Victoria mentioned Robin, she seemed more concerned with what it meant to Ted than what it meant to Ted-and-her. Which was fair, it was only their second date, after all.
“You mean, that I was the best man at my ex-girlfriend’s wedding? Yeah, it’s a little weird, but I’m not in love with her anymore, and…wait, Tracy, what is it?”
“I didn’t realize you were the best man.”
“I gave the toast.”
“Yeah, and the band didn’t have to play during the toast, so I ran to the bathroom. I was probably peeing the entire time you were talking.”
“If you were peeing the entire time I was talking there’s something wrong with your kidneys. I’ve been told I’m a little long-winded.” Ted winced as he heard himself speak.
“God, I’m sorry. That took a turn. I normally don’t make pee jokes until after the ‘I love you’s.” He winced again. “Aaaaaand I normally don’t bring up ‘I love you’ this early, either.” He almost corrected himself again, but Tracy was laughing and maybe he shouldn’t bring up that much about a six-year-old relationship on a second date.
“No, Ted, it’s okay, I don’t mind. It’s just a funny coincidence, your being the best man.”
“Really? How so?” Ted wracked his brain, trying to think of a way that his being the best man and Robin and Barney’s wedding could be a coincidence instead of just kind of sad and ironic, considering the fact that he’d once planned out his own wedding to Robin.
“Because that means you punched Darren! Ted, I will love you forever just for that.” Tracy’s eyes went wide as she clearly remembered that she was on a date and the words, “I will love you forever” take on a certain connotation in that context that could make things awkward.
“Who’s Darren? Wait…was he that dick who kept stirring shit with everyone?”
“I mean, I think of him as ‘that dick who was trying to kick me out of my own band,’ but yeah, that sounds like him. He stormed over to the bar after you punched him, yelling about the best man, and then he quit and all my problems were gone.” She smiled sweetly and, turning, placed her hand over his. “I told Linus-the-bartender I wanted to buy the best man a drink in return for that heroic behavior. I don’t know if it actually happened, but if not, thank you, Ted, for punching that dick. Your bruised hand did not go unappreciated.”
“You’re welcome, Tracy. May he be the first of many dicks I punch for you! Wait. That sounded wrong.” He made a face, but she was smiling again and it didn’t matter – this pretty, funny, talented girl seemed to be as much of a dork as he was, and how in the world had he gotten lucky enough to find her…
“But, you know, right when we all walked in after The Punch, Linus offered me a double of Glen McKenna 35-year, so never fear, he carried out your request beautifully. Thanks, by the way. He never told me why. I was starting to think he was carrying a torch for me.”
“Mmm, well, I’m not going to promise you he isn’t. But the scotch was from me.” She smiled. She had the prettiest smile. “Although I have to wonder how many people you punched that weekend, if you needed clarification.”
“You know, for a single weekend, it was pretty jam-packed.”
“I’ll say.” She paused, and the look on her face went a little pensive suddenly.
“I’m really glad I met you, Ted.”
“Me too.” He chuckled ruefully. “It’s actually a little hard for me to believe there’s really a woman like you out there, let alone that you’re sitting across from me.”
“Well…there is. And I’m here. And you know, the timing sucks but I’ve spent literal years of my life with a man I was, collectively, never as excited about as I’ve been in the last week and a half that I’ve known you, so whatever. You were the best man. You were my hero.” She smiled again. “So, you know, to hell with the timing. I don’t care. When I turned down Louis’s engagement ring it was so I could take a chance I’d meet someone like you. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon, but – ”
He broke her off with a kiss. It might be soon for Tracy, but it had been eight years for Ted. He wasn’t going to let this one get away.