Chapter Text
It was the start of spring, and another year of studies began for the Lan disciples and the foreign ones his Sect welcomed.
He was in a hurry to leave the Cloud Recesses, thus when he reached the gates he was still being briefed about his upcoming mission with a respected Lan Elder.
Lan Huan had been carefully listening to the man’s advice on how to best exorcise ancient fire demons when his eyes caught a gentle light that made him blink.
When he opened his eyes again, he met clear grey ones that hid the depth of an unruly ocean. Or an endless, deep river.
It was only for a moment, yet he could not help but marvel at the sight.
Such beauty.
He smiled warmly but the moment soon passed. The Lan Elder kept walking and the boy with the grey blue eyes passed through the gates, a shiny bell following behind him from where it hung from his waist.
A Yunmeng Jiang disciple then, he thought. His bell was what the light had reflected on to meet his gaze.
“—must make sure of this” he heard the Elder conclude and turned to him to nod respectfully.
He had heard none of it, regretfully.
He sighed and tried to clear his mind. He couldn’t be distracted in a night hunt, he knew it was akin to a death wish.
After he and his disciples left on their swords, he was still pondering on that flash of light and those eyes.
They almost felt familiar.
Admittedly, Jiang Cheng had not been impressed.
He had been anticipating going to the Cloud Recesses for months now, thinking about all the new cultivation techniques that they were going to learn and that this was his chance to improve.
He hoped maybe there, he could finally achieve the impossible. Reach his brother.
Of course , he thought with a snort, that wasn’t bound to happen any time soon .
Things weren’t even that much different here than at home. It was both a relief and a disappointment, if that made any sense. It was alarmingly easy how Wei Ying and he fell back into their old habits as soon as they grew used to their new environment; his brother lazing around and disturbing the Teacher and him trying to maintain the face of their Sect and clean up his mess.
Truth be told though, their first day at Cloud Recesses has been quite exhilarating.
Everything around them was so new and different from Lotus Pier.
The people, the pale cold mountains, the Cloud Recesses themselves.
One could feel that this was a highly spiritual place, surrounded by mist and snow-white silhouettes with somber faces full of wisdom and righteousness.
The air was colder, the trees ancient and broad. The steps to the gate of the home of the Lan Clan were glossy from centuries of use and the enormous rocky hillside of the three thousand rules overwhelming.
That was when he first saw him .
Their eyes had met briefly, and Jiang Cheng’s heart had twisted. He couldn’t help the rush of admiration and awe for the future Sect Leader Lan, Lan Xichen.
The First Jade, they called him, and it was easy to see why.
Tall, handsome, confident, accomplished. Ready to lead.
He was everything Jiang Cheng aspired to be, so it was natural that he was drawn to the older youth.
“Look at all those rules Jiang Cheng! I can’t believe they really have that many!” his brother laughed and shoved him towards the entrance.
Jiang Cheng’s eyes trailed the fleeting white forehead ribbon that swam in the man’s wake and turned his back.
Seemingly forgotten.
Some time passed.
Lan Huan had been glad to be with his brother again and leading a mission together would surely be a delight. They had been spending less and less time together, him having taken some of the duties of the future Sect Leader and Wangji helping their uncle with the disciples’ studies. Now, they were finally able to fall back into each other’s familiar rhythm and share their common burdens. They were quietly conversing as they walked down a long corridor when his thoughts were snapped to a stop by a loud exclamation.
“There are two lil’ fuddy… Lan Zhan-s!” the voice of a youth shouted in humor and delight.
He could feel his younger brother’s emotions surge at the words and he even saw him scrunch his brows, as if angered.
Lan Xichen was immediately amused. That was a rare sight, he mused.
He turned to where three guest disciples had stopped at the corner and addressed the one who spoke pleasantly with a smile:
“And you are…?”
The youth wore a Yunmeng Jiang uniform and his eyes seemed to pour out sparks made of mirth.
Awaiting his response, he quickly scanned the other two boys, immediately recognizing Nie Huaisang and then—
“Jiang Wanyin of Yunmeng” the third boy saluted and for the second time captured Lan Xichen’s eyes with his.
The endless river.
So, he was the Jiang heir. Jiang Cheng.
“Wei Wuxian of Yunmeng” the rowdy boy followed respectfully.
Lan Huan returned their greeting, followed by Nie Huaisang’s hesitant one.
After the usual exchange he had with the young Qinghe Nie master, the young boy asked: “Zewu-jun, what are you two going out for?”
He noted that the boy seemed a bit bolder than his usually silent demeanor and smiled.
“To exterminate a water ghoul. We were short of hands, so I came back to find Wangji” he informed the group.
“Brother, we do not need to engage in small talk. This matter permits no delay; it is time for us to depart” his brother spoke up urgently. He radiated tenseness and for the first time in a while, seemed impatient. That was rather strange behavior for Wangji; he would not react this way unless he felt flustered or anxious. By the looks of it, it was the former.
Lan Huan smiled again, glad to see his brother had been engaging with the others, even if it was a little bit.
“Wait, wait, wait. I know how to catch water ghouls. Zewu-jun, why don’t you take us along?” Wei Wuxian hurriedly interrupted. Lan Huan could see the eagerness in his eyes and the endless energy he carried.
“It is against the rules” Wangji declared solemnly.
Huh, was his brother that keen on refusing this boy? Almost as if he rather wanted him to come but didn’t want to show it.
“How is it against the rules? We used to catch water ghouls all the time in Yunmeng. Besides, we don’t have classes these days anyways” Wei Wuxian declared with a smile aimed at his brother and elbowed the other boy lightly.
“That’s right. Zewu-jun, we’d definitely be of help” Jiang Wanyin reassured them, locking eyes with his intently.
He didn’t know why, but the Jiang heir could pierce his defenses as easily as the waves against an exposed rocky cliff. He brought about a feeling of kinship as if borne out of almost forgotten childhood memories.
He heard his younger brother start to refuse when he interrupted: “Sure, then. Many thanks for your help. Do some preparations, and we can depart together. Huaisang, are you coming as well?”
His smile reflected the two Yunmeng Jiang boys as they all turned to the other youngster.
He sadly refused.
As the three boys retreated to their rooms to prepare, he saw Jiang Wanyin sneak a peek back to him hesitantly and snap right back with a slight flush when he caught his eyes.
Lan Huan instantly smiled. He seemed like a promising boy to lead his Sect in the future.
“Brother, why did you decide to bring them? Exterminating ghouls is not suited for joking around” Wangji questioned with furrowed brows.
“The head disciple and only son of Sect Leader Jiang are quite well-known in Yunmeng. It is likely that they know more than joking around” he answered patiently. He had not missed the way his brother’s eyes kept following Wei Wuxian during the entire exchange, however. “And, also, you wish for him to go as well, do you not?”
The stunned look in his eyes was all Lan Xichen needed to confirm his assumption. “I only agreed because you looked as if you wanted the head disciple of Sect Leader Jiang to come with you” he said. He really knew his brother well, sometimes even when better than Wangji himself.
Silence.
“There was no such thing” his brother finally muttered.
It was refreshing to see the two Yunmeng Jiang boys play around and race each other on their boats while still helping in the water ghoul case.
They were serious about helping too, Wei Wuxian loudly pondering and making up theories and Jiang Wanyin focusing on surveying the water quietly with keen eyes.
They matched well, one brother complimenting the other through their differences. They effectively suppressed the water ghouls that came their way and provided useful information. He was honestly glad that he had allowed them to accompany them.
Until he wasn’t.
When the waterborne abyss started sinking the party’s boats, it was Wei Wuxian who helped his disciple, and Jiang Wanyin would have risked his life as well, if he hadn’t stopped him to point to him that Wangji would handle it.
Lan Huan had worried about them, but after they were safe, the two boys didn’t waste time bickering and forgetting all about the previous emergency.
It was amusing to say the least.
When they later moved back to Caiyi Town, he was too preoccupied with thoughts how to deal with the waterborne abyss that he mostly missed the teasing exchange on his brother’s expense but saw Jiang Wanyin and Wei Wuxian happily enjoying the loquats they got, so he offered to treat his brother some when he saw him looking like a mistreated child.
Truthfully, it was sweet enough for the eyes to feast, no loquats were needed. He slightly laughed while his brother moved away to another boat in disdain.
Maybe those boys were a good influence on him, he chuckled silently. If Wangji got to act like his age even for a bit, it was a win for him.
When they reached the bottom of the mountain, he saw the rest of the disciples mount their swords to reach the top faster, yet his mind was still preoccupied, so he chose to take the long, worn stone steps instead. Sometimes, losing yourself in a mindless task helped clear the mist around you, he thought.
“Zewu-jun?” he heard a hesitant voice approach him.
It was Jiang Wanyin.
“What might be the matter, Young Master Jiang?” he inquired as they both began ascending the steps. “Aren’t you going to fly up?” Lan Huan felt somewhat confused. Had he been injured more than Lan Huan had originally thought?
“I could ask you the same” the boy said, then stopped himself when he realized what he’d said. It could be considered a rude thing to say, but Lan Huan knew the boy didn’t mean any harm by it so he made no comment of it.
“I simply wanted to think through some things before going back to the Cloud Recesses” he laughed. “Are you alright, however? I am sorry. I truly regret endangering you and your brother with this mission so thoughtlessly” he lowered his head. One of the things in his mind was indeed regret.
Regret that he hadn’t been more careful today, especially with dragging with him young, foreign disciples. That he hadn’t been able to contradict the younger Lan disciples when they spat at the Wen Sect for their ways. That he couldn’t. The cultivation world was created to protect humans from the dark energy that threatened them, yet the largest and most powerful sect was the one that caused so much suffering and trouble for innocents. And the rest of them couldn’t do a thing to set things right.
Be righteous was the Lans’ motto, yet he could not thoughtlessly pursue it when that same sect’s safety and reputation was at risk.
“Zewu-jun” that clear voice repeated, breaking him out of his sour thoughts. Lan Huan met his eyes, just as clear as his voice. “You don’t need to apologize or worry. And I hope you can find a way to exterminate that abyss before it claims any more lives” Jiang Wanyin explained.
He had a certainty about him, a sure stance and gaze that inspired confidence. He was especially good at comforting others, Lan Huan thought with a silent chuckle.
I doubt he sees it though , was his afterthought.
Lan Huan didn’t know the other future Sect Leader well, but he knew enough to have heard and sometimes seen his quick anger, his competitive nature and his sharp tongue. He wondered what this boy really hid behind it all.
“I hope so, too” his mind soon drifted to his worries, yet the boy’s strong and mind-clearing presence remained until they reached the top of the steps together.
After that day in Caiyi Town, Jiang Cheng felt quite pleased with himself for having helped Lan Xichen. He had noticed the older man’s clouded mind, so instead of racing his brother to the top of the mountain, he let Wei Ying fly away and instead took the stairs. He knew the Yunmeng Jiang bell on his hip would calm the other’s thoughts and easy his mind.
And he’d been right.
That same night however, it was his own mind that wouldn’t quiet down. He couldn’t sleep for hours and when he finally did, he saw almost forgotten visions of his early youth.
He saw himself at the age of four, running and crying out of the Sect conference that his family had hosted at Lotus Pier that year. The people, the noise and the strangeness of it all had upset him more than usual and he’d lashed out.
His sister had tried to calm him, but not even her gentle touch could. Then his parents started fighting again, their low but distinctly angry voices filled the rest of the space around him and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Finally, he ran towards his room, but eventually lost his way trying to avoid all the strangers that plagued the gardens and hallways, so he soon found himself in an unfamiliar part of his home.
He was still crying, but he still looked around him tiredly. Maybe he should find a servant and ask for help, he’d thought. So, when he spotted a figure with plain clothes who was sitting in a small, deserted pier nearby, he readily approached it. He just wanted this to be over already.
“Hello…?” he hesitated as he stopped to wipe his tears once more. But the person heard him.
“What do we have here, then?” it was an old man in red, worn robes smiling strangely. Jiang Cheng took a step back.
He’d never seen this man before.
“Who are you?” the young boy asked, suddenly wary.
“Why kid, would you know me?” he laughed, unbothered. He was idly weaving something in his hands.
“I… I want to go to my room. Can you take me there?” he told the man after a pause, deciding he was too tired to care anymore.
The man huffed a laugh but made no move to get up. He kept weaving that thing between his fingers. At that, Jiang Cheng’s anger was fueled again and after a long moment of the man ignoring him, he lashed out.
“I told you to take me to my room! Old man--” he started shouting, when the man suddenly stood up. In a blink of an eye, he was towering over the little boy.
That’s when Jiang Cheng remembered the hundred times his mother had told him to stay away from any stranger he saw and call the guards immediately. Fear rushed through him and the urge to bolt away became very urgent, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to outrun that man, even if he was old.
He frantically looked around him, but no guards were around. What was he going to do?
The man took a step closer, making him flinch.
Before he could start screaming for help, the man took out a small bracelet made of red string and wordlessly passed it to him. It was what he had been weaving all this time. Jiang Cheng blinked owlishly in confusion.
“Take this and give it to whoever gets you back, alright? People you meet even at the most unexpected moments may just save your life one day so be kind, yes? Besides, I don’t have time for strolls” the old man muttered offhandedly as he turned his back to the boy. He walked passed him and reached the end of the pier in a few steps. Under the moonlight, he looked even more out of place and after gazing upwards the sky, the man sat again, this time at the edge of the wooden pier. He took more string out of his sleeve and started weaving again. He also started humming a song and never once did he glance back.
Jiang Cheng’s silent tears were about to spill again so he left. He was so tired, and he just wanted A-Li. He wanted her to tuck him in his bed and stay with him until he fell asleep.
His feet were dragging as he slowly wandered a few unfamiliar hallways until he heard someone else pass.
“Please stop” he quietly called, his voice muffled by the tears. He saw a small figure halt and look towards him. It then reached where he stood and kneeled before him.
“What’s wrong, little master?” it was another child, some years older than him. He was much taller, and he wore pristine white robes and a ribbon on his head. Jiang Cheng didn’t recognize him either and his heart sank.
“I want my sister…” he cried, slumping. The older boy smiled gently and wiped his tears.
“It’s alright, I will take you to her. What’s your name?” the white robed boy took his hand and began walking the way he’d come. This change in behavior compared to the previous man he encountered was shocking, but he was glad.
“Jiang Cheng” he muttered as he rubbed his eyes. He saw the other boy’s surprised face.
“Ah, the Jiang heir!” he laughed slightly. “I know your sister, Jiang Yanli. I’m Lan Huan” Jiang Cheng saw Lan Huan’s smile and it made him want to smile too. He tightened the hold on the other boy’s palm, reassured.
He barely registered the way back to the main hall where his sister was, but Lan Huan kept happily talking to him throughout it. Soon enough, he could hear the loud people inside again and grimaced.
“I-I don’t want to go in there” he looked to Lan Huan whose eyes were sympathetic. “I want to go to my room” he almost whispered. He didn’t want to ask more of him, but he really didn’t want to face all the chaos of that meeting hall.
“Alright, then” the older boy smiled. Together, they found the small child’s residence, blissfully silent and empty of people. Jiang Cheng had slowly calmed as they walked, so he was now tripping every step of the way.
“We’re here, A-Cheng” Lan Huan nodded to the door that lead to his room. Jiang Cheng blinked and nodded, ready to fall on his bed and never get up again. But then, he saw the boy dressed in white and paused. He should thank him, that’s what his sister insisted he did in these situations.
“Thank you, Lan Huan” he bowed. He looked at his dropped hand, one of them still clutching the red bracelet that old man had given him. He felt goosebumps at the thought, but then remembered what the man had said.
(People you meet even at the most unexpected moments may just save your life one day so be kind, yes?)
“Here” he said before thrusting the small item into one of Lan Huan’s hands and shuffling inside his room. He didn’t know why, but at that moment he’d felt really embarrassed. He rarely gifted anything to anyone outside of his family and even then, it wasn’t to complete strangers. That was why he tried to forget about it and quickly went to bed. He never mentioned it to anyone the next day, neither Lan Huan nor the old man. Jiang Cheng knew his mother would scold him badly if she knew.
When he woke up the next day, he remembered every single detail. He really had no memory of this before now and he couldn’t believe that he had acted so childish and clingy in front of Lan Xichen, even at that age. It made some sense that it had resurfaced after meeting the man again and speaking with him but again, he violently tried to erase it from his mind and move on.
And he did.
That day was followed by long, lazy days where all Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying did was play around during the day and gather with the other guest disciples and mess around during the night. Lan Qiren was away for some conference, so they soon forgot all about the waterborne abyss incident and even though Jiang Cheng had closely watched and genuinely admired Lan Xichen’s prowess and ethos, he let the First Jade slip from his mind.
This particular night, his brother had somehow managed to smuggle a few large jars of Emperor’s Smile inside the Cloud Recesses and the guest disciples had all drunk too much.
It was now the early hours of morning, yet Wei Ying and he were still having a drinking match.
Most of the other boys had already collapsed and he thought he heard Nie Huaisang throw up outside some time ago. He was also pretty sure he had reached his limit a couple of cups of wine ago but was still trying to beat his insufferable brother.
It was sorely apparent now, that they were both too wasted to continue.
“Come on now, Jiang Cheng! I bet you can’t beat me, hahahahaha!” Wei Ying shouted over his ears drunkenly. He was swaying on his seat and trying to grasp his cup. And failing.
Why did he have to be the responsible one here, again?
Fuck.
“Alright, enough. You need to stop drinking and go to sleep” he told him as he grabbed his older brother and tried to drag him to a bed that was already occupied by two other sleeping boys.
Wei Ying was muttering and trying to escape his grip, but even though Jiang Cheng was hardly steady on his feet, his brother had drunk more than him and was uncoordinated and limp as a noodle. Halfway there, he stopped protesting and that’s when he noticed Wei Ying was already unconscious. Jiang Cheng let him drop on the floor, frustrated. After a moment, he pitied him enough to crouch down and put his head on a seating mat.
When he stood up, however, a wave of nausea made him freeze. His eyes were swarmed by black dots and a horrible feeling settled in his stomach. Slowly, he straightened and took a few shallow breaths.
He didn’t feel like throwing up just yet, but he still felt an urgent need to get out and get fresh air.
He unsteadily waded through the lying bodies on the floor and reached the door without stepping on too many people. When he got outside, he instantly felt better by the light chilling breeze and began walking towards the nearest well to splash some water on his face.
Curfew would be ending in a couple of hours, so the Cloud Recesses were mostly deserted even by the disciples standing guard. It was extremely quiet and that total stillness around him was somehow serene.
The colors of the sun were beginning to grace the morning sky shyly and the air was chilly but not really cold. He was so lost in the emptiness that he passed the well and carried on in a random path.
He was starting to feel a little better, but the sleepless night was catching up to him. He was about to turn back when his eyes caught a glimpse of white amongst the blazing green of the trees, the mist and the grey stone. When he looked closer, his breath caught in his lungs.
It was Lan Xichen.
The man was standing at the edge of the path near a cliff that overlooked the forest of Gusu and the mountain hills above. Sunlight was peaking its rays in the horizon and orange and pink hues were visible in the sky. At first, Jiang Cheng didn’t realize what the First Jade was doing, but then he saw a large canvas in front of him.
He felt a deep hollowness and for some reason, his eyes pricked with emotion. It was such a soul-calming and beautiful picture that he yearned to keep forever in his memoires. But he also knew he was neither supposed to be here nor witness this private moment of a senior of his, yet he was transfixed. The older man was like a porcelain statue and his long inky black hair kept being swept by the morning wind which made it look like it was dancing on its own.
He really had drunk too much.
And then the wind blew, and Lan Xichen turned his head towards him.
When he first spotted him, his eyes widened in surprise. Jiang Cheng was sure he would be angry, but then he saw the older man’s gentle, calm smile.
“Good morning, Young Master Jiang” his voice sounded over the breeze in the same smooth way. He looked aethereal, like an immortal god that only stepped down to earth during the moments of daybreak only to vanish again once the sun rose.
And his smile kept growing. “You can come closer if you wish” he said.
Jiang Cheng’s body moved a few steps closer on its own, as if transfixed. He greeted him properly: “Good morning, Zewu-jun.”
He could now see more of the canvas and he felt awe at the beautiful lines and colors that were identical to the scenery before them.
“It seems I’ve finally been caught, and it wasn’t even by a Lan disciple” Lan Xichen commented pleasantly and turned to place the palette of colors he held in the stone bench beside him.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you, please continue” he hurriedly said, suddenly mortified. Why was he even here again?! Why was his brain so slow?
He was met with a slight shake and a pat at the space beside the now sitting man.
“There was no disturbance, Young Master Jiang. It’s always a slim window of time in which I can paint this picture each day, but I would much rather spend the rest of it conversing with you. There is always time tomorrow” he explained.
Mesmerized, Jiang Cheng sat next to him. “Again, I apologize” he said. Lan Xichen only smiled.
It was widely known that the First Jade of Lan was of extreme beauty and grace, always gentle and smiling. But it was a very different thing to witness it and see for yourself how pure and genuine the man was. There was no exaggeration at all. Comparing Lan Xichen with himself, Jiang Cheng fell amazingly short. And the other man was only three years older.
“Jiang Wanyin”
At the sound of his name, he snapped his eyes up and met warm ones. No judgement, no anger.
“I didn’t mean to sound forward, but I called you twice already. I was asking why you were wondering outside so early? It’s quite cold” Lan Xichen asked him in a way that felt as if he was humoring him. It sounded almost teasing.
He felt himself blush, remembering what he had spent the previous night doing and finally realized he must smell wine from miles away.
“I-I was just, I was getting some air” he stuttered. “I wasn’t feeling very well.”
At that, Lan Xichen looked worried, but chuckled when he saw his blush intensify.
“I bet it’s from all the excitement, isn’t it?” he joked. Jiang Cheng was now wishing he had never gotten outside. He stared at his hands gripping his thighs. They were slightly shaking from the cold.
“Not to worry, since it really is quite chilly, why don’t we go back to my quarters and I can offer you some tea to help with the … discomfort?” he proposed as he stood up in one flowing movement that made his white robes brush against Jiang Cheng’s shoulder and hand. The slight touch of the fabric was all he could feel in that moment.
“No- I wouldn’t want to trouble you, Zewu-j—” he started.
“Nonsense. If you’ll follow me” he politely interrupted and without looking back, picked his canvas and palette up and started ascending on the path. Jiang Cheng could only follow.
The walk to the main building of the Lan Clan was somewhat quiet but it didn’t feel too awkward. Lan Xichen kept his pace matching the younger boy and once or twice made remarks about the other walkways they passed.
Then, they reached a part of the building that he knew only permitted clan members inside, yet Lan Xichen made no comment and kept walking.
More anxiety stirred up within him and the pain in his stomach that had grown into a dull ache intensified.
“Come in” Lan Xichen opened the door and stood to the side. The room was small but tidy and comfortable, the walls filled with paintings of nature scenes. There was a sitting area and a study in the main room, but a curtain hid the rest of it.
“Please sit. This herbal tea was given to me by an exquisite healer of the Wen Clan. I’m sure it will help” he started heating the water and setting up a tray with two tea cups.
Jiang Cheng was still taking in all the different paintings around the room and nodded absently. Lan Xichen noticed where his gaze was trained.
“You like painting?” he asked fondly.
“No... I-I mean I like the paintings… but I’m not very talented at making them myself” the younger boy answered truthfully. He had stopped attempting the art since he was a child. “Yours are beautiful” he couldn’t help but add.
“I thank you for the compliment. Truthfully, I rarely share them. It’s more like a hobby I can keep to myself for when I want to take my mind off” he said. He also gazed at the paper pictures on the walls, as if he just saw them.
“Then, don’t you mind me seeing them? And the one you were making before…” Jiang Cheng hesitated, feeling even more embarrassed.
Lan Xichen poured the hot water in the cups and smiled instead of answering. He brought the tray over to the table and took a seat opposite Jiang Cheng.
“Drink it while it’s warm” he said as he handed him the cup. When Jiang Cheng took it, his fingers brushed over the other man’s for a moment and he instantly looked up in surprise. Lan Xichen was looking at him with an unreadable look. He didn’t look angry, though.
“Thank you” he sipped from his cup, burning his tongue at the first sip. He tried not to show it. A few minutes passed in silence as both drunk from their cups and enjoyed the warmth of it.
“It must be your eyes” Lan Xichen suddenly mused as he lowered the cup from his lips.
Jiang Cheng almost coughed the tea out. “Pardon?”
The other man chuckled lightly.
“Your eyes make me think of deep rivers and waves, much like some of my paintings. Perhaps that is why I don’t mind you seeing them” he explained. He hums lowly. “Silly, isn’t it?”
The warmth Jiang Cheng felt in his belly from drinking the hot beverage immediately rushed to his face. He tried to ignore it.
“No! A-And I’m grateful for being able to witness your talent, Zewu-jun!” Jiang Cheng said, cursing himself for stuttering again. Why was he the embarrassed one? Lan Xichen’s words were corny as hell, yet he made them sound like a poem.
Damn it! He was never like this, even to his elders or the few times he’s spoken with other Sect Leaders. And damn Lan Xichen for being so nice and gentle!
Was Lan Xichen really this nice to everyone? Of course, he wouldn’t think himself special but still, it amazed him. He felt like the other man could see right through him.
He quickly drank the rest of his tea and put down his cup. His head was finally clearing and the pain in his stomach was slowly subsiding.
“Thank you for the tea and company, Zewu-jun. I will let you continue with your duties” he stood up and bowed to the man.
“Of course” was all he said as he nodded in respect.
Jiang Cheng reached the door before the other man could stand and was about to depart when he heard from behind him: “Young Master Jiang”
He turned to the older man.
“If you need anything, even if it’s some company on a chilly morning, you know where to find me. I will always welcome your company” Lan Xichen sipped the last of his tea and smiled.
Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but smile back.
He nodded and left.
He walked all the way back to his room, his mind lost in the unexpected meeting. It was very kind of Lan Xichen to make the offer he did, but it still made no sense to Jiang Cheng. Did he only say it for propriety's’ sake? It did sound genuine. Or maybe it was because they were both future Sect Leaders? But Lan Xichen had nothing to gain from him apart from maintaining good relations between their sects.
Was he perhaps lonely?
The younger boy was so tired by that point that he couldn’t think anymore. When he entered his quarters, he was met with a room filled with corpses of drunk boys. Not having the energy to care, he plopped down on the floor beside Nie Huaisang and closed his eyes.
Sleep came like a crush wave and just before he dozed off, he absently noted:
His stomach didn’t hurt anymore.
Morning came too early in the form of Lan Wangji storming inside the room and taking Wei Ying before he had a chance to fully reach wakefulness.
Then came the sharp shock of his brother’s punishment alongside the Second Jade’s and finally ended with him carrying his sorry excuse of a brother back to their rooms. He barely had time to think.
That was until Lan Xichen appeared before them like an angel sent from the heavens and last night’s memories came all crashing down like a dam falling apart.
He suddenly felt so flustered that he couldn’t even answer when the man asked what had happened.
Still, he was angry enough at the man’s brother to insult him in front of him without thought. For reasons unknown to him, his senior simply smiled warmly.
Once again, Lan Xichen offered his help and informed his brother of the cold spring of the Cloud Recesses. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang bowed to him in gratitude as Wei Ying went to find Gusu’s healing grounds.
“Many thanks for the help, Xichen-ge” Nie Huaisang offered.
The man nodded at them and departed, leaving Jiang Cheng to follow him with his eyes.
Xichen-ge.
Why did he suddenly wish he could call him that too?
“Jiang-xiong? Aren’t we going back?” Nie Huaisang asked, following his gaze.
“Yes, let’s go” Jiang Cheng hurriedly turned around and marched off, leaving his friend to hurry after him.
When Wei Ying punched Jin Zixuan and got in a fight with him, Jiang Cheng didn’t blame him. He would have done the same if he had the opportunity.
But what he hated was that this fight was just another reminder of how much his father favored his brother over him. When Wei Ying later joked at him that the Jiang Sect Leader wouldn’t have come all the way to the Cloud Recesses if he’d been the one to have a fight, his heart dropped.
His brother regretted it the second he saw Jiang Cheng’s face, but it was simply a fact.
Studying here instead of Lotus Pier for the last few months had been a pleasant dream during which he didn’t have to face this daunting fact every day, but he was shaken awake quite firmly by this incident. In the end, Wei Ying went back home with their father and Jiang Cheng was left bitterly reminded of everything he hated about himself.
Nonetheless, he was more determined than ever to stop messing around, no longer having his brother here as an excuse.
He studied hard, stopped following the other guest disciples when they went looking for trouble and closed himself up from everyone. Nie Huaisang tried his best to include him and keep him company even when he chose to stay behind from all the fun activities and revise with him but after a couple of weeks of silence, explosive anger and distance even he conceded and let him be. The Nie boy was a good friend and Jiang Cheng didn’t want to hurt him, but in the end, it was for the best.
That meant no one could see the tears he wept on nights he couldn’t take the loneliness and the bitterness anymore.