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Bruce loved his family, he really, really did, but there were some days that he just… Wondered how the fuck every single one of his children ended up like this.
“I cannot believe that I am asking this, that I even have to ask this, but why do you have a five gallon bucket of fish food?”
Tim startled at Bruce’s sudden question and turned to look at his dad with a very poor faux-casual attitude, answering, “Fish food? What fish food? I don’t see any fish food.”
Bruce felt his eye twitch and he took a deep breath through his nose, putting on his ‘You-will-answer-me-or-so-help-me-God’ voice and growling, “Timothy Jackson Drake, what is the fish food for?”
Bruce could see his third son’s resolve starting to crumble, but, before Tim could reveal whatever nonsense he was up to, Damian walked by, arms full of live fish in bags of water, and Bruce closed his eyes, exhaling sharply through his nose as a sudden urge to just give up and go with it hit him. When he opened them a moment later, Tim had made his escape, leaving Bruce standing in the hallway and questioning his life choices. As he stood, staring down the hall, Jason and Dick showed up, each holding one end of a massive fish tank. Steph and Cass were a few feet behind them, holding bags full of what Bruce guessed were probably decorations for the tank and, behind them, was Duke, the one child Bruce had hoped would have the sense to not get tangled up in whatever nonsense the rest of them were plotting. But no, there was Duke, holding more bags of tank decorations and looking baffled as to how he had gotten into the position.
Bruce knew that feeling all too well.
The small procession passed and Bruce followed them into one of the smaller, less-used sitting rooms, where he was suddenly faced with his last bastion of sanity having turned on him. Alfred, his most trusted, level-headed friend, the man who was notoriously good at wrangling stubborn Bats (Bruce included), was busily assisting Damian in filling the tank with water and directing Dick in arranging the tank decorations. Jason and Tim were busily working on the plumbing system under the tank and Duke had gotten roped into helping Steph and Cass sort the fish. As he observed the scene, he suddenly noticed the open laptop on the floor by Jason and Tim, displaying a video feed of Barbara, who was alternately talking Jason and Tim through setting up the plumbing and rattling off fish facts. Bruce couldn’t help but smile, just a little bit, at the sight of his whole family working together. And if a surprise fish tank was what it took for some, good wholesome family bonding without fighting, well, that was okay. The scene was like something out of a movie as they finishing filling the tank.
Then Jason pushed Damian in and things were back to normal.