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“Taylor, how are you holding up?”
“I just want my little girl… I can’t breathe…” Having received a call from the hospital, informing her that her daughter was discovered unconscious, apparently having fallen down a cliff-face, Taylor was totally shaken-up, and her plans for a relaxing day of catching up with Quinn had shattered in an instant. She realised just how lucky she was that she hadn’t been alone when she’d got that call; there was no way she’d have been in a fit state to drive herself.
Quinn reached to the passenger seat, putting her hand on Taylor’s. “Deep breaths…. With me; in and out. We’re almost there.”
Breathing in time with her friend, slow and deep, the dizziness receded. Taylor was furious with herself. How could she let herself crack at a time like this? She had to be calm… alert, focused. It was who she was; the one who took care of everyone, and she needed to be strong to do that. But when they pulled up at the hospital, it felt like her stomach was doing wild somersaults. No! She had to hold it together; for Liv.
Some sixteen years ago- sixteen, was it really that long?- Taylor and Estela had been at a hospital with Liv for the first time. The foetus, they’d been told, was then the size of a lime. It had been an anxious visit, with so many desperate hopes having led to that moment.
San Trobida, 2023
The cold gel against her slightly swollen belly made Estela wince. She involuntarily held on tighter to Taylor’s hand. This was it, their first glimpse of the little life that would become the centre of their world. Please, please let baby be all right…
“And, there you have it. One healthy baby; twelve weeks along. This here is the head…”
Estela froze, looking at the screen, entranced. It was so tiny, but perfect. She’d had so few long-term dreams for most of her life; for many years it had seemed inevitable that she’d either die young or wind up incarcerated. But the thought of having a child of her own to love unconditionally… it was a dream that hadn’t completely faded away in all her years walking towards self-destruction. Having rediscovered the part of herself that could love, the burning need came back to the surface, strong and sure. Their little family; her, Taylor, the baby… that was what she was meant for.
“I can’t believe it…” Taylor murmured. One look at the distorted image of the scan and she was smitten. “It, it looks like a baby… damn, that sounds stupid.”
The nurse smiled. “Would you like to hear baby’s heartbeat?”
Taylor stuttered a yes, and pressed a kiss to Estela’s forehead. She seemed stunned. “Hey, you okay?”
“Huh?” Estela shook herself free of the spell she’d fallen under. It was incredible… that little bundle of baby already had her totally at their mercy. She’d lay down her life for the tiny one within her in a second. How could she ever give that child enough love to show them even half of what she felt? “I just… I love our baby. I’ve never felt anything… anything like this…”
“Yeah… our little bump might just be the most beautiful miracle I’ve ever seen… and from me, that’s saying a lot…”
And then there was the heartbeat. Ba-dumph… ba-dumph… ba-dumph…. As though the baby was announcing to the world; I’m here.
“…Through to minors, and it’s the last bed on the left.”
A teenaged girl, her hair dark with a streak of blonde and cropped short, was sitting propped up against her pillow, her eyes alert, jumping around the ward. Then she saw Taylor, and the fear seemed to fall away.
“…Mom…”
“Livi! Oh my god, you just about gave me a heart attack! Baby, are you okay?”
The girl started to weep.
“Hey…” Taylor soothed, “hey, sweetheart… you’re safe…”
“I know… I was just, I was just scared. Really scared.”
Taylor reached out, gently pulling her daughter’s head to her chest and cradling her with utmost tenderness, supporting her as she cried. With tears in her own eyes, she kissed Liv’s head.
“I’ve got you now; I’ve got you. Mama ‘Stel is on her way.”
“God, I bet I really freaked her out…” Liv roughly wiped her face.
Taylor gave a laugh, dry and somewhat hysterical. “Freaked her out? Holy shit, girl- we’re both gonna look in the mirror tomorrow morning and see hundreds of new grey hairs!” Liv laughed, and it was music to her ears. She’s okay… she’s okay. “I’ll send her a message now, let her know that I’m with you, and that she doesn’t need to panic.” She stepped back, stroking Liv’s cheek as she got a good look at her. “I’d throw in a photo too, but she’d see those puffy crying eyes and worry.”
“Gee, thanks, Mom.”
“Livi, you know you’re beautiful and sad and puffy.” Taylor gently ruffled her daughter’s hair, and took a deep breath. “What happened, love?”
Liv winced. “Slight error of judgement on my part. I thought I had a handhold on the side of the cliff, but the rock crumbled on me. Sorry. And you know what? My life actually did flash before my eyes; it was surreal. And then I woke up here. They said they told you about Robin? They said he was barking like mad… that’s how he found me… they just left him in the reserve…” Again, Liv’s eyes welled. If she was hurt, it was the price she’d pay for a slip-up, but for her dog – without whom she wouldn’t have been rescued- to be left alone and confused was gut-wrenching.
“Way ahead of you. Tio Diego and Varyyn are out there now–”
“Varyyn’s wandering around the park in the middle of the day?”
“Don’t worry, he’s well covered-up. They both insisted. You know you mean the world to them; they don’t want you stressing yourself out when you should be resting. Varyyn’s tracking skills are insane; they’ll find Robin in no time.”
Ever so slightly, Liv let herself relax back into the pillow. She exhaled deeply, watching as Taylor finished off her text to Estela. “Hey, Mom…” she said, “you mind sending Tio Diego a ‘thank you’ from me? He must have gotten someone to cover his afternoon class last-minute. I owe him big time.”
A little smile came to Taylor’s face. “If you invite him along to your inevitable recuperation Batman binge, I think that’ll count as even.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head.
La Huerta, 2023
“Tio Diego? Do you wanna meet our little girl?”
Diego’s lower lip wobbled. “Dammit, Taylor; if you call me that I’m gonna cry!”
She pulled him into a tight hug. “We literally couldn’t have done this without you… I love you so much.” Taylor found herself wiping tears from both their faces, and then she took his hand. “Come on- she’s not sleeping or screaming, so you better take the window for a cuddle while you can.”
In their cosy lounge room, Estela was cross-legged on the couch, the swaddled newborn in her arms. As she glanced over to Diego as he was led towards them, her face lit up, leaving behind no trace of tiredness. She was just… happy. Happy in the purest form of the emotion.
“Hi.”
A hand to his mouth and eyes wide, Diego was struck by recognition; that tiny person in his friend’s arms… he’d helped make that person. The baby was about the size of a loaf of bread, her face creased as if she were burdened with all the worries of the world, her hair was dark, thick and fuzzy. “Ohmy… hi… oh my god…”
Chuckling, Taylor tugged him forward. “Livi, meet Tio Diego. Diego, this is the pretty little munchkin that I pulled out of my wife.”
“Wow. Wow, wow.” Tentatively, Diego reached out. “Can I… can I touch her?”
“Don’t worry,” Taylor said, “you won’t break her. I swear.”
Estela angled the baby so that Diego could get close. “If you do break her, I’ll snap you in half.” She giggled, delirious from lack of sleep, as he recoiled slightly. “Relax! I’m kidding… mostly. Here, you wanna hold her?”
Diego held out his hands and closed his eyes.
“Uh, Diego? Might want to have them open for this…” Taylor laughed. She adjusted his hands.
“Liiiiike that, so you’ve got her neck supported, and then just hold her close to your chest.”
The weight of the warm bundle in his arms, how real it felt, took Diego’s breath away. He looked at the little face, blinking up at him, and was entranced.
“H-hi, hi Livi… um, between you and me, I don’t know what babies like to talk about…”
Taylor laughed. “Her interests are sleep, titties, and wailing like a tiny banshee. If that helps.”
“Narrows it down.” With a grin, Diego began to gently bounce the baby in his arms. “She hasn’t just eaten, right? I don’t want to bring anything back up…” The kid looked like she was sucking a lemon, and it was weirdly endearing. “Well, I guess, Liv, I should tell you that I’m very, very pleased to meet you. I know you right now I’m just some stranger- and you’re wondering where in the heck I’m keeping my milk bar- but I’ve got a good feeling we’re gonna have something special. I could be the Baloo to your Mowgli- show you all about the Bare Necessities of life and all that. And I know you’re pretty set with your two moms, who are literally two of the absolute best people on Earth, but you can always, always count on me being in your corner too, okay?” The baby closed her eyes, beginning to doze. “Yeah… I get that a lot from my students. Your mamas will have to call me up if they ever have trouble getting you to sleep.”
Estela reached out and delicately stroked Liv’s tiny foot. “She must feel safe with you already.”
“And yes,” Taylor was quick to chime in, “if you’re volunteering for getting-screaming-baby-off-to-sleep duty, we are definitely gonna hold you to that.”
Diego just smiled helplessly. With his life as it was; split between teaching and being with Varyyn on La Huerta, to be a father was something that he was well aware just might not work out for him… not in away that would let him give of himself all that he needed to. But in Liv, he’d been given a most precious gift; a chance to be a role-model, a friend, an uncle. Family had so often been a source of heartache for him, but in this one he’d forged with the dearest of friends, he’d found true happiness. Little Liv would never feel alone, unloved as he had. Diego reached down and gently kissed her forehead- what he knew would be the first of many. He murmured softly, “You’ll always be safe with me…”
“Tio Diego says ‘no problem, will let you know the minute there’s news’.” Taylor typed out an effusive ‘thank you’ to Quinn for giving her an impromptu lift to the hospital, and put her phone away, her attention back on her daughter. “Are you sure you’re okay? Who’s the nurse I should talk to? Or doctor?”
“My head’s been hurting, and I feel, like… like I’m gonna be sick. You know, all queasy.” Liv gestured down the ward to where a woman wearing scrubs was examining a patient with a rather nasty rash. “She’s the doctor who saw me, Doctor Kamara; she said she’ll just be a few minutes, but that I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Just then, a nurse walked by. “Ah, you must be one of Liv’s mothers? Mrs Montoya? I’m Nurse Rivers; I’ve been keep an eye on Liv.”
Taylor nodded and shook the nurse’s offered hand. “Taylor- please. I can’t thank you enough for taking care of her; when I got that call I swear it scared me half to death.”
“It’s what we do here,” said Nurse Rivers. “There’ll likely be no lasting damage. You’ll want to keep an eye on her concussion symptoms for a few weeks; headaches, vomiting, confusion, ringing in the ears, are all to be expected. Rest is what she needs.”
Liv looked up at her mother, her eyes soft, clearly seeking reassurance. “Weeks?”
“Hey, you’re gonna be just fine. We’ll do everything to make the healing process as easy as possible, yeah? Lots of pyjama days.” Taylor knew full well that her daughter was not a lie-around-the-house kinda girl. Those few weeks would be trying for sure, but they’d stick them out together. “At least you’ll be able to well and truly get ahead with your assignments.”
“Yay,” Liv said drily, rolling her eyes, “everything hurts, but at least I’ll get my homework done.” Truly, though, she was grateful. It could have been a whole lot worse. A few nasty grazes and a mild concussion were about as much as she could have hoped for. This wouldn’t have been what she planned for the school holidays, but she knew her moms would get her through the worst. They always had.
La Huerta, 2026
“Moooommy!!!”
Both Taylor and Estela jumped awake to the holler from the room next to theirs.
Taylor reached out, putting a hand on her wife’s side.“Hey… I’ve got her, ‘Stel. You were on nightmare duty last time.”
She fumbled in the dark, but found her way to the next room and flicked on the light.
“Hey there, little lady…” Taylor hadn’t even sat down on Liv’s bed before the three-year-old had thrown her arms around her neck. “Oh, honey!”
Liv sobbed into her mother’s shoulder, letting herself be rocked until her cries became hiccoughs.
“It was a bad one, huh?”
“Mmhm.”
Taylor stroked to Liv’s chin. “Do you think it would help if you told me about it?”
“I think so…” Liv replied with a nod. Her bottom lip wobbled, betraying the fear that still coursed through her small body, but her mom was her safe place, a person made of sunshine strong enough to chase away all the darkness in her world. She took a big breath. “We were playing on the beach. I was digging the biggest hole. You and Mama ‘Stel were making a sandcastle. I tried to give you a shell… and you were gone.” She shuddered. “I couldn’t find you… and there were… eyes.”
“Eyes? Like, scary eyes?”
“Mmhm. Monster eyes. In the bushes. It was gonna get me.”
Immediately, Taylor’s mind flitted back to the week prior, when they’d glimpsed something large… reptilian, as they’d hiked the cliffs beyond The Celestial. Liv had been curious as she always was when seeing new things, but that had been when she’d had a hand to hold. What must have been the Shore Guardian, a young beast that had grown to take the place of the vicious king crab, was a frightening figure to face alone. Was the monster what made the child wake in a cold sweat, or was it the aloneness? That gut-wrenching feeling of reaching for a hand only to find empty space.
She stroked gentle fingers through Liv’s hair. “That must have been really scary, Liv. You’re a big, brave girl to tell me about it.” The child grasped her ever tighter, and it tugged at Taylor’s heartstrings. “But you know how you know it’s not real?”
Liv shook her head against Taylor’s chin. “No…?”
“Well, Mama Estela and I would never disappear when you needed us. If you were ever scared, you’d just have to call us, and we’d come and help you chase the monsters away.”
“Always?”
“Always, always. That dream could never happen, yeah? We won’t let it. And you wanna know a secret?” Taylor smiled softly as Liv looked up, her dark, shining eyes questioning. “Scary dream monsters are no match for a big, brave girl and her mommies.”
Wiping her eyes on her arm, Liv gave a weak giggle. Her dream felt almost silly. There was no way some dumb monster could scare her mothers away. “I’m sorry I woke you up…”
“Oh, Livi, no… that’s what I’m here for. That’s what we’re both here for; to make sure you feel happy and safe. Because we love you- don’t you ever forget that.” Taylor hugged her daughter tightly, feeling her small body gradually relieve itself of tension, safe and secure in her arms. “So… how are you feeling, sweetheart? Would you like me to sit with you until you fall back to sleep… or do you want to come and sleep wit me and Mama ‘Stel in our bed?”
Liv’s little nightie flew out behind her as she ran into her mothers’ bedroom, tugging Taylor along by her arm.
“Livita! Bad dream, mija?” Estela didn’t even flinch as the child vaulted onto her.
“A very bad dream.” Liv nestled herself in tight, using her mother’s chest as a pillow. This was her safe place. In Mama ‘Stel’s arms, she was protected from everything scary. She knew full well that nobody messed with Mama ‘Stel. Nobody.
Then, Taylor climbed into bed, completing the sandwich, her arm over the child like a blanket, hand tucked beneath Estela’s shirt so she could feel her warmth. Of course, the usual exchange of kisses; Estela-to-Liv, Liv-to-Estela, Liv-to-Taylor, Taylor-to-Liv, Taylor-to-Estela, Estela-to-Taylor.
Thoroughly smooched, Liv closed her eyes, and her breathing became slow and steady. The jungle sounds beyond their window didn’t seem so threatening now. She gave a contented sigh as Estela soothingly patted her side and Taylor softly whispered a lullaby into her hair. Surrounded by love, she’d surely dream only the sweetest dreams.
Estela strode into the ward purposefully, her gaze set on the bed in the far end. Her Livita. Relief flooded her as she saw laughter upon Liv’s face and Taylor’s arm around her shoulder. At last she could breathe easily. She rounded upon the bed, and Liv’s eyes seemed to light up further.
“Look, Mom. Not dead. I live to blunder through another day.” Liv winked, and reached out her arms to be enveloped in a gentle hug. She closed her eyes as she nuzzled into Estela’s shoulder. Joke though she might now, she’d been genuinely scared and shaken-up, and to feel those strong, loving arms around her meant more than she could say. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that.”
Her hands trembling, Estela brought them to Liv’s face, cupping it tenderly, and gazed upon a poor, grazed forehead. “Oh, Livita… it’s okay.” She left delicate kisses upon Liv’s cheeks, feeling her smile -such a damn relief. Then, Taylor put her arms around the both of them, and everything really would be all right. “How are you feeling?”
“Well, it wasn’t my finest hour.” Liv winced. “Pretty sure my whole body is bruised, and my ego. I feel a bit crap to be honest; apparently I’ve got a concussion.”
“Joder…” Having enjoyed more than her fair share of concussions herself, Estela was sympathetic. Liv had been active and adventurous from the moment she learned to crawl; bumps and scrapes had quickly become par for the course, but head injuries were never something to take lightly. “We’ll take it slow, mija, get you back on your feet.” She gently stroked Liv’s arm. “And when you get there, maybe we go hiking up mountains together before you try any more solo stunts…”
Liv smirked. “So you can catch me if I fall? That’s ambitious, even for you.”
“Pfft. Of course, I’ll catch you. I’m your goddamn mother.”
That made Liv giggle. Right. Of course.
La Huerta, 2033
“I think I’m getting something!” Liv cried, looking up from her frantically twirling dry sticks as she saw a spark. On her knees in the dirt, the ten-year-old was throwing herself into the task at hand. It would be dark soon, and if she didn’t get a fire going, there would be no toasted marshmallows for dessert.
Estela crouched down beside her daughter, nudging the tinder nearer. “That’s great, Livi. Now, if you just bring it over so it catches..”
Liv enthusiastically shoved her sticks onto the pile of dried-up grass.
“Okay,” Estela coached, “give it a gentle blow; that will give it some more oxygen, help it create a flame.”
Concentration showed in Liv’s furrowed brow as she leaned over, blowing hard at first, then softening after a glance from Estela. Her face lit up as the fine tinder did the same- just a small flame, but she’d made it.“Oh my god! I did it!”
Side by side, mother and daughter tended the blossoming flame, with Estela guiding Liv, but letting the young girl take the achievement for herself. Liv built up a ladder for the flickering flames to climb, gradually adding larger, heavier pieces of kindling.
“That’s it, Livita, you’ve got it.”
Her face glowing, Liv sat back and admired her handiwork. “I am the fire queen! The fire queen demands marshmallows!”
Estela made a show of rolling her eyes. “Mija, Mama Taylor will be back with food to cook for dinner soon.”
“One or two won’t spoil my dinner, will it?”
“All right, fire queen, go find some marshmallow-roasting sticks.”
They sat together around the fire, which had grown stronger, filling the air with the sounds of crackling wood and leaves.
“Hot! Ho-ot!”
“You blow on them, and then you stuff your face!” Estela laughed.
Liv spluttered, then stuck out her tongue and poked her mother with the end of her stick.
“You’re feeling brave there, Livita… trying to start something?”
Mischief flared in Liv’s eyes. She jabbed again, but this time Estela’s stick swiped hers away. Delighted, Liv jumped to her feet. “Mom, you are going down!”
She danced around the fire, lunging at her mother only to dodged effortlessly. Liv welcomed the challenge. Their playful sparring was a favourite pastime since she was very small, but she was still a long way from matching her mother. It didn’t stop her from trying. Liv ducked and dove, taking advantage of her small frame and nimble movements. She ran at Estela with her stick, only to be vaulted over with ease.
“That’s no fair!” Liv spun around after Estela, their stick’s crashing together. She surged forward, but with Estela dodging out of her way, she stumbled forward too far, knocking down her carefully constructed wooden tower and snuffing out the fire. “Oh, crap!”
Estela just laughed at her lovingly. “Well, that’s what you get for messing with your mother. Go on; build a new one. We’ve gotta cook dinner on something.”
More confident this time, Liv crouched down and began twirling her sticks against one another.
“A little more force, Livi… get some friction happening,” Estela guided.
“I got it.” Liv kept going; faster, harder, never letting her momentum fall away. If she slowed, the friction would be lost and she might just as well be starting from scratch. She glanced back to Estela, catching a smile that told her she was doing everything right.
“Hey,” Liv said, keeping her hands moving quickly even as she spoke. “I was wondering… can you show me some more tracking tomorrow? I saw this guy on TV; he could tell what animals had been through the forest just by looking at how the leaves had been moved. Like some kinda secret language. I know you’re not that good…?”
Estela chuckled. “You know, most people try flattery when they want something.”
“But that would be disingenuous!” Liv proudly flaunted the big word. “You are pretty good at tracking, though. I thought it would be fun.”
A glowing ember sparked up, and the child carefully helped it on its way to blossoming into a flame. Again, the same satisfaction at her growing capability. She could feel the pride coming off her mother, sitting beside her.
“Nice job,” Estela said, beaming. She kissed the side of Liv’s head. Her daughter was no longer so small that it could be taken for granted that she’d want to spend so much time hanging around with her mothers. For as long as Liv wanted to keep on soaking up the learning and love on offer, Estela would give it with no hesitation. She knew all too well how precious those memories could be- you could never be certain how much time together life would allow you. “Maybe we have Mama Taylor run off into the forest, and you have to find her.”
That mischievous twinkle returned to Liv’s eye. “Like, extreme hide-and-seek? Ye-es!!”
Taylor strode up to camp, lugging a large pot and a pack full of ingredients. “Thank god you got a fire going, I’m starving! Your work, Livi?”
“Yeah, duh! Piece of cake.” And Liv was up on her feet, wrapping her arms around Taylor’s middle in a brief hug before diving into the bag. “Actually, I did it twice. I’m just that good. So if we’re ever lost in the woods somewhere, I’ll be able to keep us warm.”
Then Taylor felt a gentle kiss behind her ear as Estela welcomed her back to their rustic little family campsite. “What would we do without you?” Taylor asked, a laugh in her voice. The answer to that question was something she hoped never, ever to have to find out.
Estela assisted a yawning Liv into their car, while Taylor hovered by the door, ready to offer an extra pair of hands- held back only by Liv’s insistence that she was fine.
“Okay, okay! Jeez, you’re stubborn. I wonder where you get that from?” Taylor rolled her eyes. She wouldn’t change a thing; that courage of convictions was one of the things in Estela that first captured her heart. Seeing that same strength in Liv was, to Taylor’s mind, totally beautiful. Her phone buzzed, and when Taylor checked the message, she had to grin. “Hey, Liv? You owe Tio Diego big time- one hero dog recovered safe and sound.”
Adjusting her pillow in an attempt to get as comfortable as possible on the back seat, Liv gave a sigh of relief. True, everything hurt, and she was most definitely going to go stir-crazy, but the worst of her ordeal was over and it hadn’t escaped her how fortunate she was. “Oh my god, Mom, tell him ‘thank you, thank you, thank you!’”
Before setting off, Estela checked up on her wounded soldier once more. “You’re okay back there, Livita?
“I’m good,” Liv said, smiling. “Just… sorry for worrying you both so much…”
Taylor reached around, placing a hand on her daughter’s knee and looking into that beautiful, bruised face. “All that matters is that you’re safe, and we’ve all got each other. You know all the bullshit that the two of us endured on La Huerta? All practice so we could survive raising you without losing our minds.” The sweet sound of Liv’s laughter put her at ease, and she turned to face forward once more, receiving a soft peck on the lips from Estela. All that mattered…
