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Gavin Reed was going to lose his fucking mind.
This was the third day in a row his neighbor’s alarm had gone off at 5 o'clock in the god damn morning and left to beep for 30 minutes nonstop. He dismissed it the first time, understanding that sometimes waking up was a bitch. He, himself, was not a morning person. He dismissed it the second time for the same reason. But three times? No way. That motherfucker needed to learn some courtesy.
He stormed out of his dorm room, still wearing his pajamas, and pounded on his neighbor’s door.
“Turn your fucking alarm off, asshole!”
There was no reply, and the beeping continued.
Gavin groaned and leaned his forehead against the door, realizing his neighbor was likely gone for spring break, like everyone else. Gavin was going to be woken up at 5 on the dot every morning for 11 more days.
“Shit.”
Gavin glanced up to the white board attached to his neighbor’s door. Everyone had one. His own was blank, but fortunately, his neighbor had left his phone number under “contact information,” probably left there after the RA’s encouraged everyone to do it. Something about being an emergency contact in case someone locked themselves out. No way was he going to put his own number out there so he could be woken up at midnight by some drunk frat boy begging to be let in. Seemed like his neighbor was more charitable.
Gavin punched the number into his phone and angrily wrote out a message.
GR: you left ur alarm on, fucker
Unknown #: My sincerest apologies. I was in such a rush that I must have neglected to shut it off.
GR: yeah, now I don’t get to sleep in during my vacation. thanks a lot.
Unknown #: You aren’t going anywhere for spring break?
GR: no. broke af. thanks for reminding me, fucker
Unknown #: I’m terribly sorry. Is there any way I can make it up to you?
Gavin paused. What would be a suitable punishment? He went back to his room and flopped down onto the bed. The beeping stopped just when Gavin had a brilliant idea.
GR: if I have to wake up at 5 every morning, you should too
Unknown #: That is fair. I will set the alarm on my phone and text you so you know I’m awake. Again, I’m sorry for the inconvenience.
This guy had to be an English major or something. His texts were too proper. Annoyingly so. Now that Gavin thought about it, he’d never seen his neighbor before. Their schedules must have been set up in such a way they’ve just always missed each other.
GR: what major are you?
Unknown #: Biological engineering. Why do you ask?
GR: my guess was English. you write like you expect to be graded. lighten up.
Unknown #: This is how I prefer to text, but since I’ve inconvenienced you, I’ll consider it.
GR: whatever. going to try to go back to sleep now. ttyl
Unknown #: Sleep well.
Gavin managed to get three more hours of sleep. He then spent the day as he did the first two days of vacation- watching YouTube videos, walking around the barren campus, and conserving what small amount of food he had. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was broke. His schedule was so full he simply didn’t have the time for a job. Usually he bought food with his food card at the Student Union building, but it was closed for vacation. He had just enough from his student loan refund to buy oatmeal and a bag of oranges. It was just enough that he could make it through vacation and he wouldn’t starve. Hopefully.
It’s not like he had any family to help support him….
The next morning, at 5 o’clock, Gavin woke up to the damn beeping, wondering if his neighbor would stay true to his word. Sure enough, at 5:01, his phone pinged.
Unknown #: Good morning.
GR: F U
Unknown #: Again, I am truly sorry.
GR: F U
Unknown #: Is there anyone else on campus? I imagine it’s quite empty.
GR: Dunno. I’ve walked around and haven’t seen anyone.
Unknown #: That must be nice. Peaceful.
GR: where are you spending vacation?
Unknown #: Home, though I’d much rather be on campus like you.
GR: why?
Unknown #: I miss living by my own rules.
GR: I get that. parents. fuck ‘em.
Unknown #: Agreed. I am glad to see my brother again, though.
GR: younger or older?
Unknown #: Twin, actually. We ended up going to different schools.
GR: I see. going to go back to sleep now. ttyl
Unknown #: Sleep well.
Gavin’s sleep schedule was all kinds of messed up. He usually had broken sleep, nightmares, and the occasional fit of sleep paralysis. Occasionally, Gavin was able to wake up in the morning and go back to sleep, but today was not one of those days. He put in his earphones to drown out the beeping and turned on a vine compilation. He ate half an orange while he contemplated doing something new that day.
Cortland was a small college town, and other than bar hopping, there wasn’t much to do when the campus was closed. People were always surprised for some reason when they found out Gavin didn’t drink. He was an absolute teetotaler, which excluded him from many gatherings and parties with other students.
Gavin was searching for anything happening in Cortland when his phone pinged.
Unknown #: I saw this and thought of you.
Attached was that GIF of the lady banging pots with the caption “I DIDN'T GET NO FUCKING SLEEP 'CAUSE OF Y'ALL! YA'LL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!" Gavin chuckled and sent a middle finger emoji and a smiley emoji
Unknown #: Sorry, I didn’t wake you up again, did I?
GR: nah. was thinking of something to do today but there’s jack shit in Cortland.
Unknown #: Why not go to Detroit for the day? It’s only an hour and a half away.
GR: Broke. As. Fuck.
Unknown #: Right. I’m sorry.
Gavin supposed he could find something free to do. He could take a bus there and maybe window shop or something, but he only had $20 in his bank account, and he was saving it for an emergency.
Unknown #: If I may ask, do you have a job?
GR: triple major. psych, criminal justice, philosophy. minor in ethics. job? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Unknown #: That’s…very impressive. You must be very diligent.
GR: Pshh…Not as impressive as fucking biological engineering.
Unknown #: I hate it.
GR: Parents?
Unknown #: Parents.
GR: what would you major in if you could?
Unknown #: …English.
GR: XD
GR: Then do it.
Unknown #: It isn’t my decision to make. My parents are paying for my brother and I to go to school.
GR: Fuck ‘em. Get a job and pay your own way through or get financial aid or whatever. If they got a problem with it cut them out of your life. It’s your life, not theirs.
Unknown #: Is that what you did?
GR: err…something like that, yeah.
Unknown #: I want to be an author. I love writing.
GR: fucking do it then.
GR: send me something.
Unknown #: No.
GR: 5. In. The. Damn. Morning. During. Vacation. You. Bitch.
Unknown #:…I don’t even know your name.
GR: Gavin Reed. U?
Unknown #: Richard Stern.
GR: great. Now that we’re properly acquainted, send me something! I’m dying of boredom and sleep deprivation.
RS: Fine. Give me a minute.
Gavin browsed YouTube while he waited. Fucker was probably looking for his best piece. Ten minutes passed before his phone pinged. Richard had sent him an attachment.
RS: I usually write short stories and novellas. I have outlines for larger works.
Gavin opened the word doc and was greeted with a poem. He was never a fan of poems, but he kept an open mind.
RS: It’s a bit freeform.
RS: It’s not the best reflection of my work.
RS: My longer works are better.
RS: I haven’t been writing poetry very long.
RS: I really don’t have a knack for poetry.
GR: drop biological engineering.
RS: You like it?
GR: Fucking duh. It’s great!
RS: Truly?
GR: YES! To hell with your parents. Switch to English!
RS: You’ve only read one poem. It’s not the best reflection of my work.
GR: Then send me everything I want to read it all.
Gavin spent the rest of the day reading the works Richard felt comfortable sending him. He took his time to evaluate each one and carefully wrote out his thoughts for each piece. It wasn’t stuff he would usually read. Richard seemed to prefer surrealism and science fiction, and Gavin usually stuck to thrillers and mysteries (and manga). However, he could tell there was a lot of passion behind each piece, and that made them enjoyable to read. Gavin fell asleep that night, midway through a short story about an android who fell in love with a human.
RS: gm =P
GR: huh?
RS: how r u? ^^
GR: Are you…?
RS: LOL XD
GR: Please stop.
RS: You told me to “lighten up.”
GR: I take it back. It’s weird. Stop.
RS: Nuuuu~
GR: blocked
RS: Wait! Unblock me! I need to tell you something!
GR: unblocked
RS: Bitch.
Vacation passed by quickly. Gavin spent it texting Richard and reading his writing. Tomorrow was the last day of vacation, and everyone would be returning to campus. Gavin was dreading it; sure that Richard would stop talking to him. He would no longer have a reason too.
They had quickly moved from just talking at 5 o'clock to texting each other at all hours of the day and night, exchanging memes and discussing Richard’s writing. Gavin knew the guy was just talking with him out of obligation. Probably out of pity too. It was nice, though, pretending for a while that someone cared.
Gavin munched on his last bowl of oatmeal. He ran out of oranges six days ago. Luckily, the Student Union building would be open tomorrow since everyone would be coming back.
Gavin smiled sadly at his phone before plugging it in to charge. He managed to fall back asleep for a few hours, but was woken up by a knock at his door. He jumped up, shocked, frantically looking around his sparsely decorated room for anything that could be used as a weapon. After going so long without human contact, he felt jumpy and anxious. Probably just maintenance. Had to be. Who else could get into the dorm building? Who else would be knocking on his door?
Cautiously, Gavin opened the door and peered out. Standing on the other side was the most handsome man he had ever seen. Fuck, he always had a weakness for blue eyes.
“Uhh? Can I help you?”
“I wanted to apologize again for not turning off my alarm.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
So this was Richard. How unfair. He thought he’d be able to control his feelings but now…being able to attach a likable personality with a beautiful face…
“Don’t worry about it. We’re even.”
Gavin tried to close the door. He had to get rid of this man. He couldn’t allow himself to become more attached than he already was. He couldn’t admit to himself how he felt. It was stupid. He’d only ever texted the guy and read his stories, but in doing so he had begun to develop a crush. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Richard blocked the door with his foot and leaned into the door to keep it open, just as Gavin leaned into it to close it.
“Gavin? Are you alright? You don’t look well.”
“I’m fine. Go away.”
“I thought we could go somewhere and have lunch. Talk some more. I enjoyed texting you and I thought we could get to know each other better.”
Gavin let out a humorous laugh. This was so unfair. He pushed against the door harder, trying to kick Richard’s foot out of the way.
“You don’t gotta bullshit me. I don’t need your pity. You’re no longer obligated to talk to me, so just go. Leave.”
“Obligated? What are you talking about?”
Maybe it was the two weeks of eating bare bones meals of oranges and bland oatmeal in addition to the sleep deprivation, but Gavin quickly lost energy and fell backwards onto the floor, dizzy and breathing heavily. Richard slipped into the room and kneeled down next to him, placing his hand on Gavin’s forehead.
“You look sick Gavin. You don’t feel feverish. Are you OK?”
It was the genuine concern in Richard’s voice that broke him. He couldn’t help but start sobbing, overwhelmed by his self-loathing, hunger, exhaustion, and anxiety. Why couldn’t Richard just leave him like everyone else? It would be so much easier if he would just go.
Richard helped him stand up and walked him over to his bed, sat him down, and gathered him into a tight embrace, allowing Gavin to sob into his chest. He carded his fingers through Gavin’s hair, whispering kind words meant to soothe, but they only made Gavin feel worse.
“I emailed the head of the English department and switched majors yesterday.”
“R-really?” Gavin choked out.
“Yes. You inspired me to follow my dreams. My parents cut me off and I have to get a job, but it’s worth it.”
“That’s great, Richard.”
“Your analysis of my work…your criticisms…I could tell they were all genuine and well thought out. You weren’t just being polite. It gave me the confidence to do what I need to do. Thank you, Gavin.”
“Heh…yeah. Sure.”
“I have some money in my savings. Let me take you somewhere for lunch, or if you aren’t feeling well, let me bring something to you.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Please?”
Gavin relented, and Richard left to go order from a nearby restaurant. As Gavin waited, he figured he’d allow himself to get close to Richard. The man would get bored of him, and they’d drift apart like everyone else in Gavin’s life, but he figured it would be nice to have company, for however long Richard would put up with him. He’d enjoy it while it lasted.
The fear that Richard would leave him didn't go away when they started dating four months later.
It didn't go away the entire time they dated.
It wasn't gone by the time they graduated.
Or when they got married three years later.
It was still there 10 years into their marriage, lessened by time and experience, but there nonetheless.
Gavin figured it would never go away completely, but Richard was patient, always combating Gavin's fears with kind words full of love and acceptance.