Archive of Our Own

MONDAY

DECEMBER 8, 1976

POINT PLACE HIGH SCHOOL

The sound of the bell echoed throughout the room. Class had begun. Buddy perched on one of the stools that sat on the far left of the room, next to the windows. Gazing outside always nurtured his wandering imagination. That made the time pass faster. Sixth period always dragged on. It felt like it never ended. He had his elbow propped up on the black lab table, with his hand cupping his face in moderate boredom. Mr.Fuller droned on and on, the usual lectures about tact and responsibility and discipline. That young people need to shape up. Get their acts together. He’s heard it all before.

Buddy felt someone tap on his chair with their foot, he glanced over to his right without compromising his comfortable position. His good friend Thomas sat in the stool next to him. He pointed at his open notebook discreetly. Words were hastily written in the corner of the page:

We’re getting new lab partners.

Buddy waved his hand indifferently. So what?! It’s not like anything’s going to change. He always picks Thomas. And Thomas always picks him. Thomas is excellent in chemistry while Buddy strives in english. Ideally they support each other in classes when it’s needed. It works out perfectly. They’ve been good friends for years. Their parents are in the same circle, same business. They have a lot in common. The friendship was a simple one in the making. 

Thomas shook his head again, blonde hair ruffling from the movement. He pointed at the page again.

We’re not pickin this time. 

Buddy sat up at that. His eyes focused on Mr.Fuller for the first time that afternoon. That certainly piqued his interest. 

The room held a low roar, everyone was talking amongst themselves as Mr. Fuller went around to each table, assigning new pairs. Buddy pivoted in his chair, scanning the room for possible candidates. As his eyes flickered over the faces of each of his classmates, he froze when he landed on Eric. 

He had completely forgotten that he was in this class. Eric’s so studious and quiet whenever he’s in school. And he had been tucked away in the back of the room, away from Buddy’s line of vision. He’s always had a steady crush on Eric, probably as far back as middle school. A smile grew on his face as he stared at him. Eric hadn’t noticed the attention, his head was bent down, eyes trained on his notebook. Probably rereading and rewriting his notes. 

Buddy reminisced on their middle school days; the times they used to hang out more. It ended once they entered high school. When everyone grouped up in their cliques. They’ve had classes together throughout high school but it was only a few. Not enough to start a catalyst of more hangouts. But now… maybe there’s a chance to see Eric more. A hopeful feeling fluttered in the center of his chest at the mere thought of Eric sitting next to him. 

Eric shifted in his seat nervously, most likely aware of all the staring on some kind of unconscious level. A light green cable-knit sweater clung to his lean torso. He chewed on the tip of his pencil absentmindedly. Pink lips circled around the pencil. He bit it in frustration. Buddy swallowed, his thoughts running wild. Drifting off into some of his fantasies. Eric placed the pencil back down, and his eyes jumped up to look at the clock that hung above the chalkboard. 

“You’re drooling, ya know.” Thomas nudged at his shoulder. 

Buddy broke his gaze from Eric and turned to face the front. With a humorous huff he replied, “No I’m not.”

“Uh yeah you are, but hey man it’s cool.” Thomas gave him a cheeky grin. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Whatever man.”

“I’ll be your wingman if you need me to…” 

Buddy ignored his friend’s teasing and tried to keep his wits. 

People started filling up the room. As each table got a new pair, people got kicked out of their table. They stood in the middle walkway, without direction, without purpose. Mr. Fuller finally called Thomas over and assigned him with some girl, the airhead Betty Bickers. With a frown, Buddy settled back into his hands. He closed his eyes, wishing that the day would end already. 

“Alright Buddy,” Mr. Fuller spoke in a gruff tone. Buddy looked over at him and the clipboard he was carrying. “I think I’ll pair you up with …”

He crossed his fingers in his lap and chanted in his head: Please not a girl, please not a girl, please not a girl, please not some incessant, annoying girl. 

“Eric Forman.” Mr.Fuller nodded to himself, his forehead wrinkling in return. “He’s doing mighty fine in my class. He should be a good partner for you.” 

Mr. Fuller waved Eric over and ushered him to his new seat. “Alrighty then moving on.” Mr. Fuller moseyed over to the next table. 

Eric stood at the end of the table, his book bag still hung over his lanky shoulder. His mouth curved into an easy smile. “Hey Buddy…” He gripped his binder nervously. “So we’re partners now huhh? I hope you don’t blow me up haha... cuz I’m very fond of my limbs. I’d very much like to keep them.” 

Buddy immediately turned a shade of red. His cheeks warmed at Eric’s words. His twisted mind interpreted the phrase differently. There’s no way he meant it like that, did he? Blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me, blow me repeated in his head. He chuckled in an attempt to save himself, and forced out a modest, “I’ll do my best not to.” He nodded towards the stool to his right. “Aren’t you gonna sit down?”

“Right!” Eric practically shouted. He anxiously took his place next to Buddy. He slid his book bag down to the floor and hooked his shoes under the rings of the stool. Buddy couldn’t help but smile at him. How can he be so cute?

While Mr. Fuller argued with some unhappy students in the front of the room, Eric and Buddy made use of the free time to catch each other up on their life. They exchanged stories and events for ten minutes. Laughing at the shenanigans their friends would get into. 

Once the class was pacified, Mr. Fuller began his lecture on chemical kinetics. Everyone focused on the chalkboard and began taking notes. Everyone but Buddy that is. 

He couldn’t focus to save his life. For every two sentences he wrote down, he’d sneak a glance at Eric. It wasn’t noticeable; well he hoped it wasn’t. He tried to be subtle about it. 

Eric was fidgety by nature, he knew this. What he didn’t realize, was that it could be distracting, for him especially. The boy couldn’t sit still. Eric began twirling his pencil in his fingers. Buddy watched him, studied the movement of his lithe fingers. He wondered how warm his fingers would feel intertwined with his. He wondered what it would feel like to kiss Eric’s fingers. 

Each fingertip. One by one. 

“Hey man, are you okay?” Eric’s soft voice struck him. 

Buddy nearly jumped out of his seat. Eric’s large green eyes were trained on him, concern painted over his features. 

Buddy nodded calmly, “I’m good. Just have this habit of zoning out in here…” 

“Ah that’s right, you hate this class.”

“You got me .” 

“Well that makes two of us, partner .” Eric chuckled. 

Just then, the bell sounded. Mr. Fuller yelled over the sudden ruckus of students scrambling for the door. “Review chapter 9 because we’re going to start lab experiments tomorrow! Review people!!”

As they shoved their books into their bags, Buddy nudged Eric with his elbow. “Hey Eric, you think I can borrow your notes from the other day? The one about Bohr's theory?”

“Yeah sure, but I left them in the car. I gotta go grab them.”

“Oh okay cool.” Buddy followed Eric out into the busy hallway. 

Students gathered in the most inconvenient places, didn’t they? It was so annoying. A horde of girls formed in the center of the hallway. Why can’t people gossip outside in the parking lot? Where there’s more space? God, high school sucks. 

Eric was rather good at zig-zagging through the swarm of people. With his lanky frame and gracious steps he made it look like a sport. Occasionally someone would bump into him or accidentally shove him, and he’d be the first one to apologize. Even if it wasn’t his fault, he’d still throw in a quick sorry before moving on. Does no one else see how sweet and considerate he is? Oh god I don’t think I’m strong enough. I hope I can keep myself in check around him. 

A loud uproar of voices clogged the halls. Buddy trailed Eric through the throng of students. Just as Eric was about to pass a classroom door, the door flew open and a group of students flooded out into the overcrowded hallway. Eric jumped back on instinct, causing him to lean back into Buddy without meaning to. 

Buddy felt Eric’s warm back slide up against him. He clenched his jaw in solemn concentration as he felt his taut back push up on him. His shoulder blades connected with his chest. He could smell Eric as clear as day, the sweet smell of his sweat mixed in with the scent of his shampoo. It was earthy with the tiniest hint of vanilla. It made his mouth water. His smell kept hitting him in waves. It was impossible to ignore. 

With Eric pressed up against him like this, it made him realize that he was taller than him now. He outgrew Eric by a several inches. He hummed in satisfaction. How had he not noticed that before? 

The walkway finally cleared enough for them to step through. Eric removed himself from Buddy’s space and turned to look at him. He must of realized how close he had gotten to him, to avoid the swing of the door. Embarrassment was evident on his face. “Oh sorry.” A slight blush dusted his cheeks. Buddy didn’t know what to make of it. Were his thoughts written clearly all over his face? Did Eric notice how he had leaned into him? Did he know? 

“It’s fine,” Buddy said as he pushed them through the crowd, taking the lead instead. “I’m just glad the door didn’t clip you.”

“Haha, yeah that would of sucked.”

They exited the school and entered the parking lot. Large gray clouds settled over the sky, blocking out the sun’s rays, suggesting that it might rain later in the day. Buddy stood next to the hood of the Vista cruiser while Eric located his notes. 

"Alright, this is basically all you need to know about Bohr's theory of atomic structure." Eric bounded over and handed his notes over to Buddy. The wind whipped by, causing him to shiver in his blue wool coat.

"Cool man, thanks, I appreciate it. Listen, you don't mind me being your chemistry lab partner?" He looked at him curiously, with a unspoken question hanging in the air. Does he know what I’m hinting at ?

"No. Why would I mind?" Eric grinned at him cheerfully. Eyes shining with innocence. 

"Just 'cause, I, uh, you know, I tend to blow things up." He forced out a small laugh as he shifted his eyes down, feeling a little nervous under Eric’s watchful eyes. In long strides he walked over to a red Trans Am that was parked not to far from Eric's old Vista Cruiser.

"Whoa, whoa, Buddy, what are you doing!?" Eric gave him a weird look. Confusion apparent on his face.

Buddy turned to look at him with a smirk. "Unlocking my car…" His keys jingled as he opened the door. 

"NO WAY! This is your car!?” Oh, so you're the guy I hate!" 

"Yeah, yeah, that'd be me." 

"Can I just?…" Eric looked over at him with hopeful eyes. His hands twitching with excitement. He looks like a little kid discovering a hidden cookie jar or something… so fucking cute.

"Yeah, yeah!" He motioned him over and Eric nearly tripped over himself as he rushed to the passenger side. He admired the car with untamed enthusiasm. 

"I'm so glad you're my lab partner!" Eric exclaimed in his typical dramatic flare. 

"I could take you for a ride if you want."

"No way! Oh, let's go!" Eric jumped excitedly. He opened the passenger side door and slid into the leather seat just as Buddy sat down. Once inside the car he immediately began playing with the window switch. The car window went up and down, up and down while Eric giggled ecstatically. Buddy just stares at Eric and his antics for a bit, before deciding to say something. 

"Hey, don't do that!" 

Eric’s fingers freeze over the switch controlling the window, he turned to face Buddy, looking like a scolded puppy.

"I'm kidding!" Buddy breaks out in a wide grin. Content with seeing how something so insignificant like his car could make Eric so giddy and smiley. He watched Eric with quiet adoration. And then he put the car in gear. 

“So? Where do you want to go?”

                                 . . .

He didn’t know how to describe it. The feeling that sprouted from his chest whenever he looked at Buddy. Raw and alive. It wasn’t something alien to him. He’s felt it before, back when they used to hang out together in middle school. God, how he missed that feeling. He didn’t even realize he had missed it until he was sitting next to Buddy again. Why did they ever stop hanging out? 

Buddy, without a doubt shined in his eyes. He has always been someone incredibly cool and incredibly kind. His voice was soothing, his demeanor was considerate. And he had this self-awareness about himself that Eric admired. Actually there was several things that grabbed his attention when it came to Buddy.

Eric watched him drive. Buddy effortlessly shifted gears at the right moments, pushing the car to a higher speed once they got on the main highway. As Buddy drove, Eric couldn’t help but stare at his hands. The delicate color of his skin, the shape of his nails. The veins that nearly popped out of his skin when he gripped the gear stick too tight.The car engine revved audibly, jarring him from his daydreams.

They ended up driving to the hub since he couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. Buddy parked the Trans Am in the Hub parking lot and they got out together. Buddy stopped him before they got to the door, hinting that he wanted to talk for a few minutes.

“Hey, did you hear the new Eagles song that came out?”

“YOU LIKE THE EAGLES?!” Eric grabbed his own face with both of his hands, in joyous awe. Excitement getting the best of him.

Buddy just laughed at him. His black hair shining in the sunlight. Eyes wrinkling from smiling too hard.

“Yeah of course I do. I have all their albums ya’ know.”

Eric flailed his arms dramatically, before hooking them around his own neck. “THATS SO COOL OH MY GOD! I could kiss you right now!”

It took him a couple seconds to realize what he had just said. Buddy was just looking at him, wide eyed with blushing cheeks. Still smiling at him despite what he had blurted out. Eric felt his face heat up at the thought of actually kissing Buddy. How it would feel. What it would taste like. That’s not what I meant, right? It’s just a figure of speech… 

Eric continued talking in an attempt to save the conversation and himself. “Was it good? T-the new eagles song?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Buddy nodded, the blush lingering.  “They have this amazing guitar solo at the end. It gave me chills, the first time I heard it.”

“Damn I wanna listen to it now,” Eric clicked his tongue. “Maybe I’ll buy it next week… maybe…”

Buddy repeated him. “Maybe … you can come over and listen to it at my house? If that’s easier?”

“That sounds great actually!” 

A huge smile blossomed on to Buddy’s face. “You’re welcome to come over any time Eric.” 

Eric mirrored his smile but cast his eyes downward when Buddy continued to stare at him. With an outstretched arm, Buddy opened the door for them without breaking eye contact and they went into the hub. 

He saw Donna, Jackie and Fez sitting across the room on one of the small white tables. He approached them with Buddy in tow. 

"Hey, guys,” He said with a simple head nod. “Um, Buddy, you know everyone, right?" Eric looks over at Buddy, taking in his cool expression. When the hell did he get so tall? We used to be the same height at one point!

"Hey,” Buddy said with a wave of his hand. His friends greet him amiably. “Uh, no I don't think we've actually met." He confesses as he points at Fez.

"No, I am Fez." 

"Hi." Buddy shakes his hand with a friendly smile. 

"My Gosh, Buddy, with a car like that, you must be knee deep in whores," Fez exclaims with gusto. Buddy quirks his eyebrows in confusion and looks over to Eric for guidance. He shakes his head and gives him a look that says ‘that’s just fez for you, there’s no use.’

Eric clasps his hands together. "Okay! Let's head back to my house." Buddy shadows him once he starts walking, staying close to his side. Fez struts out of the hub. Donna and Jackie grab their coats, and head outside a moment later. 

They all ended up in the basement, per usual. Everyone’s here relaxing, having a good time, minus Kelso and Hyde. Wonder where they’re at? Probably doing something stupid haha. Ah well... They’ll show up eventually. 

Buddy chose to sit in Hyde’s chair, that was parked in the outer circle. He kept his brown leather jacket on, which struck Eric as strange. But maybe it was colder down in the basement today. Sometimes people would leave the door wide open after they left. Dumbasses. Please have respect for my basement.

"Hey, they're finally getting off the island!" Fez commented excitedly. Eric struggled on focusing on the show they were watching. He kept peeking over at Buddy. Trying to catch his expressions, and guess what he was thinking. Maybe he thinks being here, is lame ? Is this lame ??

"No, Fez, they're not getting off the island," he corrected Fez like he was two years old. 

"But they have a clock and a radio, what could go wrong?" asks Fez. A few moments pass before he shakes his head in disappointment, "Oh Jilligan!"

The side door swings open as Hyde and Kelso walk in. Eric perks up at their arrival, content to see them. "Oh, there you guys are!! Hey, where have you been?" 

"Where have we…" Kelso blinks in disbelief, he had his long arms wrapped around himself. Still shivering from being out in the cold. "Where have you been!? We've been worried sick about you!"

Hyde jumped in. His tone sharper with rage. "We had to walk all the way here man! My feet are killing me!"

Oh shit, I forgot to pick them up! Kelso went over to where Eric sat and snatched his hand up. "Are your fingers broken!? You can't use a phone!?” He threw Eric’s hand back down. Ouch . 

"Do you know that it's freezing outside? And I'm wearing my uncle's boots so now I have a blister!" Hyde shook off his coat in irritation.

"Shaggy, scooby... We have company," Donna chimed in. She hinted in Buddy’s direction, who was sitting quietly in the old white chair.

"Huh, Buddy Morgan.” Buddy waved calmly as Hyde walked over to him. Clearly annoyed that he was sitting in his chair. “Yeah, I know you…" 

"Yeah, I guess it's my fault. I gave Eric a ride home so…"

Hyde cut him off with a loud, "Get outta my chair!" Buddy quickly jumped up from the chair with an amused smile on his face. Hyde’s scowl deepened. 

"Okay, I really had to be going anyway, so…" He glances over at Eric, and suddenly remembers the Vista Cruiser. "Oh, hey! Your car's still at school, huh?" 

"Yeah you're damn right it is!" Kelso yelled.

"I could drop you off, if you want?" Buddy kept his eyes locked on Eric. His lips curving into an easy smile. 

"Oh, yeah! Sure!” In a flash, he got up from the couch. “And, hey guys, I'm real sorry I forgot about you." Eric says, in an attempt to sound remorseful. 

Buddy holds his keys up to him with a gleam in his eyes, “Hey, did you wanna drive?”

"HELL YEAH!!" Eric shouts with pure excitement. He’s grabbing the keys and racing up the basement stairs before anyone could say another word. Buddy runs up after him.

Fez flew up the stairs a moment later, "I call backseat!”

                                 . . .

The days started to blur together. His world began to revolve around one person. The number of times he spent with Buddy started to outnumber the times he spent with the gang as a whole. Their faces blurred, diminished from his head as he spent less and less time with them. And to put it simply, he didn’t care. Being with Buddy was a breath of fresh air. He could act as dorky and as ridiculous as he wanted. Buddy didn’t weigh him down, he didn’t criticize him or make fun of him or call him a dumbass. He’s just laugh or stare at him with eyes shining full of interest. It felt so good being around him. Not having to fake anything or pretend for anyone’s sake. He didn’t have to be someone he’s not. He could just be Eric. 

It had become so routine, having Buddy by his side 24/7 that whenever he’d be without him, he would feel empty. Wrong almost. It’s funny how fast one can get attached. He’d crave more and more time with Buddy. It never felt like enough. He’d ditch class sometimes to go be with him during his study period. He never did that for anyone else. Not even Donna. 

Buddy wouldn’t even bat an eye. He would just look up from his book and quirk an eyebrow at him and smirk that stupid-cute smirk, “Oh you’re back for more? Can’t get enough of me huh?”

“Oh shut up!” He’d sit himself down next to the taller boy and fish out his chemistry textbook. “I’m here to study too! Soooo zip it..”

“Sure you are…” 

Buddy would go back to reviewing his notes while Eric fidgeted in his seat, happy beyond belief. How come he’s never felt like this when he’s with his other friends? 

The bell would ring and they’d walk together to their following class. Two-peas-in-a-pod. Buddy became the yin to his yang. They became fundamentally inseparable. They would play pinball and basketball together. Hang out at each other’s houses, go shopping and go out to eat. Study and mess around. 

Buddy really enjoyed seeing Eric sprawled out on his bed. Seeing his light brown hair fanned out on his dark blue comforter. Reading comics on his back, filling the room with his cute laugh. Buddy was on cloud nine. His cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. It was the best feeling. 

His friends took notice of the new Buddy-craze. Everyone had their own theories, trying to make sense of what was going on. Why Eric was absent for days. It’s not like he was avoiding his friends on purpose. Occasionally, he would go in and hang out in the basement with Buddy and the rest of them. But he soon came to the conclusion that it was better to just be alone with Buddy. To have him to himself. Everyone would bother him or tease him or ask him stupid questions concerning his lifestyle. Buddy would become more reserved around others, more quiet and watchful. 

So lately, Eric would only pop into the basement with a quick ‘hi and bye’ before whisking away, album in hand or money in his pockets. Running back up to Buddy. 

Whenever Kitty or Red would come down into the basement and see the whole gang there and accounted for but no Eric, they’d do a double take. Hyde or Donna would simply announce that Eric had gone off with Buddy again.

Kitty would laugh cheerfully, “Aw that’s so sweet, they’re such good study partners!”

Fez would smile, “Oh yes! Very nice partners!”

Hyde would laugh to himself, trusting his uncanny intuition. And Donna would hit him. “Not like that you dillhole!”

Donna didn’t really want to believe it. There had to be another reason. She still had a thing for Eric. Sweet, dorky Eric. But it was hard to refute completely. The way she caught Buddy staring at him with such intensity. The way he gazed at him, it was too profound. Too full of desire, too full of longing. It was evident on his face. But the thing that bothered Donna the most, was that Buddy didn’t even try to hide it. Whenever he’d realize that Donna had been watching him, he would just give her an all-knowing-smile. A smile that said so-what? He’ll be mine soon enough.

Eric would call him over to eat and he’d chuckle as he passed Donna. Leaving her shell shocked. Seeing Eric so happy, was the only thing holding her back from saying anything. The Buddy-craze continued without a hitch.

                                 . . .

2 WEEKS LATER

It was a windy Friday night. They went to go see a movie. Popcorn littered the floors and candy clung to the cement. Time always flew by whenever they hung out. The movie ended in the blink of an eye and they found themselves outside in the Cineplex parking lot again. 

They walked out side by side. Shoulders gently colliding every so often.

"That was a great movie, huh?" Buddy’s voice caressed the cool night. 

"Yeah. I mean, who would've thought that working at a car wash could be so much fun!?"

Buddy unlocked the Trans Am and they both got inside. The doors clicked shut. Buddy faced him.

"So, what do you wanna do now?"

"I don't know. Uh, Oh, ugh!" Eric said as he face palmed. 

"What?"

"Nothing. I forgot to call Donna." He stared straight ahead. Studied the cars that were parked in front of them. Darkness curled around the Trans Am, wrapping them in a soothing and comforting atmosphere.

"Oh, Donna." Buddy made a little displeased sound. He seemed disappointed. Irritated even. "So, she's like, your girlfriend?"

"I don't know, it's… I don't know..." 

"Yeah, it's…it's okay to be confused, Eric."

"Yeah, you know, sometimes, I feel like…I don't know. Like, we're in a movie, right? And, um…I'm nervous around her. And I feel like I'm playing this part, right? But it's not me…."

Buddy had his eyes locked on him. His gaze didn’t waver.

“It doesn’t feel like me… like at all and I..”

"Mhmmh," Buddy inched himself closer to where he sat. Eyes hyper focused on Eric’s lips. And the words spilling out. He leaned in closer and closer while Eric rambled on. The darkness was his ally, it masked his intentions easily. He held himself back a couple more seconds before his body moved on its own. His self control snapped and he swooped in, crashing his lips against Eric’s. 

The air stilled around them. At first Eric froze, but with a few more lingering kisses he could feel Eric leaning into his touch, melting from the sensations. Maybe it was his imagination getting the best of him, but he could have sworn he felt Eric moving his lips in return. Was he kissing him back!? Even if he was, he recoiled twenty seconds later. He pushed him away as he realized what they were doing.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…whoa!" Eric shook nervously, eyes searching for answers he couldn’t see clearly. Buddy could have sworn he saw Eric flush, his skin turning red all the way down to his collarbones. Did he like it?

"What?" Buddy asked patiently.

"You! Y-you are…yo-you're gay!" 

"Me? No, I'm not gay," Buddy denied with an amused undertone.

"You're not?” Eric’s voice went higher from stress. “But you…you just kissed me!" His eyes wandered down to Buddy’s plush lips. Unable to rip his eyes away from them. The feeling of them against his own left him reeling. Left him wanting more. Craving more touch. He needed to get himself together. Think of something else, think of something else!

"Ok, I'm gay." 

Eric felt hot all over. The warmth snaked down from his neck to his chest before pooling down into his lower abdomen. His pants felt tight. He started to panic. Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no! Not now! I can’t let him see me like this!! I need to take care of this in my room!

“Can you take me home now?" He squeaked out as he tried to discreetly adjust his pants.

He didn’t know how long they had been driving. It could of been for five minutes, it could of been for two hours. What he did know, was that with every passing second it was getting harder to breathe. It was excruciating. His mouth felt like it was full of sand, his heart carried a heavy anchor. He was sinking. And he didn’t really understand why. 

He’s fighting himself, he knows that he is. The thoughts and feelings he had buried deep inside himself had broke out. They tore out of his chest like a young sprout tore out from the earth. He likes Buddy; that much is certain. But his entire life, everyone has told him that being queer was wrong. Disgusting. Dirty. Horrible. Repulsive. It was something to make fun of. Something to jeer at. Everyone he’s ever known had bagged on him for not being manly enough, or strong enough or good enough to get the girl. But in the back of his mind he’d think, well maybe I don’t want to get the girl?!

In the back of his mind, he would lock a big part of himself away from the world. Not to be seen. Not to be felt. Buddy opened the gate and called out to him. And how can he say no that voice? The strength to not give in weakens whenever he looks at Buddy. Whenever he stands next to him. But the thought of losing everything he cares about, his friends, his family, his life… terrified him down to the very core. How could he give into these feelings knowing that he’d lose it all?

"Look, I'm not gay," his quiet voice punctured the eerie silence.

"Yeah, yeah." Buddy tilted his head over to him. Deep brown eyes studying him, the overhead street lights reflecting in his irises. "Are you sure?" 

Eric gazed at him. He felt feverish. It was too hot in here. His body locked in on him so he could only manage a small nod.

"Because I just thought that…" Buddy shifted his eyes to his radio, lost in thought. He peeked at Eric again and noticed his pained expression. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Eric’s voice cracked awfully. He tried to hide his face with a closed fist. 

The engine rumbled in the background, a metal animal humming with immense power. Buddy frowned; he knew that tone. He knew all of Eric’s mannerisms and mood swings down to a key. It was a language he knew very very well. He hasn’t changed much from when they were younger. Only grew a bit taller. Buddy looked over at Eric again, reading him. Eric sat there frozen stiff, all except his hands. Trembling, his hands were trembling. Something was wrong . 

Buddy shifted gears, slowing the car gradually. He pulled it off the cement and parked it at the side of the road. They had been driving along the border of wilderness, the Havenwoods to be exact. Pine trees fanned out in front of them, shrouded in darkness. Buddy had developed this habit where he’d take longer routes so that he’d have more time with Eric. 

Once the car stood still, he turned fully to look at Eric, who pivoted in his seat, eyes darting around in bewilderment. “Why’d you stop?”

“Because I want you to talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong…”

Eric slumped in his seat, shoulders sinking downwards. He wouldn’t meet his eyes, his head faced the car window. Eyes scanning the dark terrain. “It’s nothing, I’m totally fine so let’s go already.”

“Eric… talk to me…”

No response. Silence engulfed them.

“ Eric… ”

Buddy clenched his jaw in frustration. A memory floated from his subconscious. It took center stage in his mind. When they were in middle school, he used to find Eric slumped over like this in the locker rooms. Knelt down in a tight little ball, silently crying to himself. He didn't need to ask why. He already knew the reason. 

Back then, words hit differently when they were younger. It bruised and marked them like they were real stones. He remembered how Eric would get picked on for being thinner and smaller. He’d get singled out because he didn’t get involved in the thirsting-over-girls talk. Even Hyde would join in with stupid comments. ‘What are you queer?!’ They’d laugh at him and push him down. His knees would get all scraped up. Blood would drip onto the floor. Fresh tears would sting his eyes. ‘Come on Foreman! Get up and fight! Show you’re man enough!’ Hyde would shove his head a little too hard.

Buddy would step in between them, when the roughhousing went too far. ‘Lay off him, man.’

They would back off and walk away, throwing crude remarks at him as they left. He’d pick Eric up and take him to the bathrooms. 

Eric would sit on the ceramic sinks, thin legs dangling as Buddy would clean his knees. Eric would look down at him with his large green eyes and smile so sweetly. ‘Thanks.’

Buddy would look up at him in awe, his fingers lingering on the other boy’s ankles. Heart melting onto the floor, he’d get hit with several emotions at once. He never understood how those people, those friends of his could treat him so harshly. How could they be so cruel to someone so wonderful? Buddy stared at Eric with adoration, but as he spoke his expression changed into something more calculating. ‘Don’t listen to them okay… they’re a bunch of assholes. They have shit for brains…’  Eric would avert his eyes when the conversation shifted to something more serious. Buddy’s calm voice washed over him, filling the bright room. ‘There is nothing wrong with you …’

‘Yeah, I know…’ His chestnut hair bounced as he shook his head, nodding in agreement. He stared at the bathroom walls, his hands twitched in his lap. Buddy took a moment to study his long eyelashes, his soft fluffy bangs, the curves of his collarbone. The skinny boy kept avoiding his eyes. ‘Hey, look at me…’

Buddy tapped at Eric’s knee, getting impatient. ‘Look at me… Eric please look at me!’

Eric tilted his head back down, their eyes would finally align. There were tears. His eyes were glossed over, full of pain. It was the type of anguish that would spear through his heart. His eyebrows quivered in effort; he was trying not to cry again. Buddy jumped up and in a flash had his arms wrapped around his shoulders. He would hug him tightly, as if he could squeeze all those awful feelings out of him. Eric would tense up at first but he’d slowly inch his hands around Buddy’s back. Returning the hug with vigor. He felt Eric lay his head on his shoulder, releasing a breathy sigh. As if he was tired, exhausted from being out there in the real world. Tired of pretending to be something he’s not.  

Tired of fighting himself. 

Buddy frowned in remembrance, but Eric didn’t notice. He was still looking outside, like he was considering taking a midnight stroll through the woods. 

It was quiet. The wind had stilled in consideration of the two boys sitting in the car. Clouds drifted over the pale moon mirroring their moods. Buddy stared at his friend in sudden understanding. Nothing had really changed since then, since they were together in middle school. The world was still a hard, unforgiving place. Words still felt like sharp daggers to the chest. Being who you wanted to be, was still a fight in itself. And it always felt like there were eyes everywhere, watching every move you make. 

Buddy didn’t say anything as he reached over and grabbed Eric by the shoulders, guiding him, pulling him into his embrace. He circled his arms around his thin frame and hugged him with all his might. 

Eric froze and tried to push away, the effort was incredibly weak, like he was doing it out of obligation. That he was pretending to show displeasure because someone had simply told him to. Buddy tightened his arms around him and held steady. Eric’s shoving softened as he felt Buddy run his fingers through his hair. A gesture of soft affection. The tense muscles in Eric’s back relaxed. He let out a shaky sigh, releasing all the voices that kept him chained up within that one breath. That kept him buried and numb. He surrendered to Buddy’s touch, joining his hands around Buddy’s back. His heart was thawing and there was no use resisting now. It felt too good.

He felt Buddy’s warm breath ghost over his ear. His voice came out smoothly, each syllable spoken with sincerity. "I'm sorry for kissing you."

"That's ok. I mean, it's…fine…" Eric nudged his head into the crook of his neck. Buddy leaned into him instinctively. Eric bunched up the fabric of Buddy’s dark long sleeve anxiously, fingers shifting now and then. He could feel the rise and fall of Buddy’s chest against his own, his steady breathing eased his mind. It felt so good , to have Buddy hugging him like this. Feeling his strong arms around his torso. His warmth on his chest and back, painting his shoulder blades with his soft touch. He felt safe and secure.

It was in this moment that Eric let his guard down. He let all the walls fall unconsciously. All the walls that reigned him in, that imprisoned him to fit the image everyone dressed him in. He shook it off and stepped into who he was meant to be. 

“I-I didn’t hate it…” He confessed under his breath, barely audible in the silent car. 

Buddy’s fingers stopped moving, still caught in his soft brown hair. It took him awhile to process it, he thought maybe he had imagined Eric saying that. But it was real. Those words were nearly tangible. He swallowed hard before speaking into Eric’s ear. “Would it be okay… if ...if I did it again?”

Eric nodded shyly, rubbing his head against Buddy’s cheek. “Yeah.”

The clouds drifted off the face of the moon. Dim rays of light cast down onto the trans am. Buddy didn’t waste any time, he didn’t want to chance the possibility of Eric changing his mind. So he tilted his head and dove into Eric’s mouth, joining their lips in seconds. 

His lips were utterly soft. So smooth. They were as soft as the rose petals that grew in the gardens of his parents estate. They warmed significantly as the kisses grew in number.

It was different now. He could feel the difference. Eric wasn’t absent like before; he was contributing now, very eagerly in fact. Eric kept pushing forward, lightly clacking their teeth together. It was incredible, like some kind of switch went off. He was pecking him back. Chasing his mouth whenever they’d break for air.

Buddy cupped his face tenderly, kissing him over and over and over. As if he was dying tomorrow and that was the last time he’d be able to kiss him. Eric was humming lowly in the back of his throat. Enjoying the feeling of their lips merging.

With desire clouding his thought process, Buddy allowed his impulses to guide him. He bit Eric’s lower lip hungrily. An electric current zapped through him, tingling his skin, feeding his libido. Eric parted his lips and moaned into Buddy’s mouth. 

Seeing an opportunity, Buddy leaned in and slipped his tongue past Eric’s soft lips. He licked into his mouth, stirring more moans out of him. Eric clutched onto Buddy’s long sleeve, gripping the fabric to anchor himself. Their open mouthed kissing grew more intense, more desperate, more heated.

He wanted to pull Eric into his lap, wanted to bring him closer. See his pink face hover over him, slick with sweat from making-out. He held himself back by fulfilling another wish that gnawed at him. 

He wanted to mark him, press love bites all over Eric’s skin. Taint him with his saliva, with his tongue, with his lips. Litter his perfect neck with beautiful bruises. Create undeniable proof of this being a real evident. 

Slowly, languidly he kissed along his jawline. Worshipping each stretch of skin, each little freckle. Eric cocked his head back with a content sigh, giving him more access to his neck. Buddy made his way to the end of his jaw, and started sucking on the skin right under his ear. Eric whined, pleasure shooting through him like liquid fire. Tingling, his skin was left tingling wherever Buddy touched him. The taller boy sucked harder and faster, mouthing along his pulse point. Eric closed his eyes, letting the sensations wash over him. Squirming he let out tiny moans, gripping the back of Buddy’s clothes, tugging him closer with both hands. 

He felt a warm tongue lap at his neck. Buddy kissed each emerging bruise sweetly. Lips grazing over sensitive skin tenderly, light as a feather.

Eric had been so wrapped up in the feeling of Buddy sucking at his neck that he didn’t feel his belt being undone. It dawned on him that he was exposed. Just as Buddy’s hands dipped into his pants, Eric grabbed his wrist.  

“What are you doing?”

Eric’s hold on Buddy’s wrist was loose, it was free to wander. Buddy inched his hand closer and closer until he had his hand on top of Eric’s hardened length. He squeezed it knowingly, teasing him through his boxers. Eric let out a surprised ‘ahhhh!’ He tightened his fingers over his wrist, halting his movements. “ What are you doing?!” He repeated anxiously.

“You’re hard.” Buddy said a matter-a-factly.

“So what!? It doesn’t mean anything..”

“Mmmph I’m sure it means something…” Buddy spoke with a smirk layered in his voice. 

Eric stared at the hand that was in his lap, as if staring at it would fix everything. Fix all the confusion whirling around in his head, spinning him round and round. Welcome it or repress it? Give into Buddy or push him away? There wasn't enough time to over analyze his decision. Buddy hadn’t removed his hand from his groin. Eric couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of the hand on his clothed cock.

The choice was an easy one to make once Buddy leaned in and started kissing him again. Began licking into his mouth immediately. He soon realized that his will would become weak whenever Buddy would kiss him. The sense of right and wrong would blur, become indistinguishable. All those anxious feelings that would cloud his mind would be washed away. And all he could focus on was the sensation of Buddy sucking on his tongue. The sweet smell of sweat and fresh mint wafting off Buddy’s hair. The soft touch of fingers dancing along his jawline.

Thinking about anything else but Buddy’s lips moving against his own was impossible. It just couldn’t be done. It felt too overwhelming. Kissing him felt too good . 

It’s never been like this before. He’s never felt this type of satisfaction whenever he made out with girls. Or even with Donna. It’s such a bland comparison. It falls short. Buddy’s skilled tongue leaves him shivering and moaning. It leaves him with his mind blown. 

Eric disconnected their mouths with a wet pop, breathing hard. He could feel Buddy’s eyes on him, staring hard enough to burn holes into his sweater. But he didn’t look up yet. Something was still holding him back. 

Buddy voiced his thoughts unashamed. “Can I blow you?” 

That made him look up. He studied Buddy’s expression meticulously. He must be joking right? How can he even ask something like that straight faced? “Are you serious??”

His face was dead serious, as if the subject was life or death. “ Yes .”

Eric squirmed under his unrelenting gaze. He didn’t understand why he would ask something like that. It was such an odd thing to say. Guys don’t do that to other guys, right? It didn’t make any sense to him in all honesty. “Why would you wanna do that?”

“I just do.” 

“That’s not a real reason…”

“Well, you’re hard and… I want to make you feel good,” Buddy leaned in and nosed Eric’s neck teasingly. Eric shivered in response.

“I-I don’t think we should be doing th—”

Their lips joined again, more ferociously than before. The wet sounds of their kissing filled the car. Buddy pressed forward and slid his hand into Eric’s boxers. He squeezed his cock gently. And then began pumping him slowly. 

Eric moaned as he felt each stroke. “Ahh- ahh! Budddy..”

It felt incredible. Amazing. Every move he made sent shivers up his spine. It was completely different, it was nothing like how he jerked off alone in his bedroom. He couldn’t refuse now. If it feels this good with just his hand, then it must feel a hundred times better with tongue. 

Buddy lowered his head down to his waist. He had his mouth inches from his length. He huffed out a breath onto his hard cock, which sent shivers down Eric’s torso. His body felt wired, and extremely sensitive. Like he was being touched for the first time. It finally registered in his mind, that he wants this. He wants Buddy in that way. He’s never wanted something as much as he wants him in that moment. 

Eric pushed his fingers into Buddy’s thick black hair and pulled his head towards him. Just as Buddy was about to take Eric into his mouth, a large BANG broke through the silence. 

The car swayed slightly. They both jerked around to see what had caused the car to move so suddenly. 

They both peered out the window, and were surprised to find an unwelcome guest.

Irritation coated Buddy’s voice, “What the hell?!”

A giant male elk stood before them, jerking its impressive antlers back and forth on the red hood. It seemed furious that the car was there. Maybe it was trying to push the car off the side of the woods and into the road; send them on their merry way. 

If the elk continued whatever he was doing, he would inflict even greater damage to the hood. Scratch it beyond repair. Buddy opened the car door and made an attempt to step out, but Eric crossed over the dash of the car and yanked him back inside. 

“Are you out of your mind!?!” Eric told him. “That thing is ten times your bodyweight! What if it charges you??!”

“But if it keeps grooming it’s fatass on my car!! I won’t have much of a car LEFT!!”

“Let’s try this!” Eric leaned over into Buddy’s seat and honked the horn repeatedly. Well, that must of pissed it off even more. The elk bellowed loudly and then raised its legs a second later. It came down hard on the hood. The added weight shook the car down. 

“Oh SHITT!” They both yelled at the same time. The elk was rearing up again. Posing for another attack.

Swiftly, Buddy got the car started and immediately put it in gear. The car revved up, and jerked in reverse until they were a good distance away from the elk. The animal shook its head furiously, before stomping off into the forest, disappearing past the treeline. He switched gears and they got back on the road. 

Eric sat in the car quietly, absorbing what had just happened. The moment was gone. Even though he had already tucked himself back into his pants, he was still hard.

There was something about the way Buddy was ready to charge at a seven-hundred pound elk with the confidence of a lion, that turned him on. He tried to calm himself down, tried to focus on anything but what might’ve happened five minutes ago. Think of something else, think of something else, think of something else… 

Buddy looked over at him with worry in his eyes, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine.” Eric smiled at him. “Are you good?”

Buddy shook his head, “Yeah. Just fuckin pissed is all!”

Eric couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, it was only a matter of time. I had a feeling something like that would happen…”

“You did?” Buddy glanced at him curiously. “Is that why you kept staring out the window?”

“Well yeah. I was paranoid something was gonna pop out and kill us. Like a fucking Leatherface or something!”

A loud laugh bubbled out of Buddy. “No way!! There’s no way I’d let a stupid Leatherface kill you! There’s just no way!”

“What are you saying?” Eric waved his hand humorously. “That you’d take on a Leatherface for me??”

Buddy grinned widely. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. And I would win.”

Eric giggled trying to picture it. “How can you be so sure?”

“I just am.”

“But how!!”

There was a lull in the conversation. Buddy held his gaze with a cute little smile on his face and then explained smoothly, “Because… I have something worth fighting for.”

Eric just stared at him. 

“You.”

He couldn’t move his eyes away from Buddy’s. He stared at those eyes that shone so brightly. At the tall guy next to him, that was so sure of himself and who he was. And what he could do. He couldn’t help but smile at that. 

“You’re too much sometimes… you know that?”

Buddy laughed again, and patted the steering wheel with the beat of the song. “Yeah, I’m well aware of how cheesy I can be!” Buddy nodded to the beat of the song, “Hey turn it up!”

Eric turned the song up and started singing along. It was one of their favorites. They continued driving on the empty streets with Hotel California blasting in the background. 

                                 . . .

As his house came into view, Eric swallowed down his melancholy with purpose. This is the part of the day he’s come to hate. Buddy had parked the car at the edge of his driveway but he didn’t make an attempt to get out yet. Eric sat there, pretending to tie his shoes for a couple seconds. The radio had been turned off a while ago so the car was silent. Crickets chirped in the dark corners of the night.

Eric looked over at Buddy with a sad smile, “Well I guess I’ll see you later…”

No answer. Not even a smile back. Buddy just stared at him and stared at him with an unrecognizable expression. Was he angry about the elk? Eric cocked an eyebrow at that, wondering what was up with him. He’s not one to get angry so easily. 

“Hey are yo—”

Buddy jumped forward and crashed their lips together with such force it shook the trans am. Eric couldn’t help but whine as he felt Buddy’s tongue enter his mouth again. He was kissing him with such vigor, such desperation that it kind of made Eric light headed. It was intoxicating. 

After a couple minutes of making out, Buddy released him with a noticeable shudder. “Sorry, I really couldn’t help myself.”

Eric let out a little laugh. “For a minute there, I thought you were gonna eat me!”

“I might of..” Buddy gazed at him with eyes full of desire, clouded with want. His eyes glimmered in the darkness.

A deep blush rose up on his cheeks. Eric licked his lips, surprised by how tender and swollen they felt. Buddy was more intense than he let on. Stronger than he seems. He’s usually so calm and level-headed that it’s hard to imagine him being feral and needy.

“I’ll see you later ‘kay.” Eric pushed the door open an inch and then he felt Buddy grab at his left hand. 

“Can I just… have one more?” 

Eric nearly melted right then and there. Buddy asking him so sweetly for another kiss? That’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. 

“Oh okay!” He leaned in slowly and fulfilled Buddy’s desire. Their faces joined once more, a pair of warm smiles linking together. 

Buddy kissed him softer this time. As if he was trying to savor it, cherish it. Eric closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Buddy’s soft lips on him. The gentle movements of catch and release. 

He felt so alive in that moment. 

When they broke, Eric swooped in and hugged him. Buddy wrapped his arms around Eric’s torso and sighed contently. A few seconds ticked by and neither of them made an attempt to let go. They just stayed like that until another car drove past their street and reminded them of their surroundings. They are not alone. The world is around them, still aware. Still watching. 

Buddy touched Eric’s neck tenderly with his long fingers, and then he leaned in and whispered in his ear, “I want you to know, that no matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone thinks… you are perfect just the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you, Eric .”

Tears pricked around his eyes, but he blinked them away. Eric nodded, afraid that if he spoke, his voice would break. He got out the car and closed the door. 

Buddy smiled at him so brightly, that his squinting eyes and gleaming teeth were clearly visible despite the darkness. And then he put his hand under his chin and gave him this weird little wave that always makes him laugh. The ‘little rascal’ wave.

He began doing that whenever they’ve leave each other. At the end of every day. Buddy could tell how Eric’s mood would shift, he would get all somber and quiet whenever he would be driven back home, so Buddy started doing little things to lighten the mood. Make it a little more bearable for Eric to say bye. And man did it work!

The trans am rumbled down the street and turned around the corner, out of sight. Eric stood there, alone in his driveway, thinking to himself. He rose his hand up to his mouth, and touched his lips with the tips of his fingers. He couldn’t believe what had happened. In the midst of all the confusing emotions swirling around him, he felt overjoyed. He felt incredibly happy. 

He made his way over to the basement in a daze, with a big smile permanently glued to his face. Curving around the wall, he went down the steps that would lead him into his basement.

His head was still on cloud nine. He didn’t even notice his friends sitting there, watching tv like any other late friday night. He took off his coat and placed it on one of the nearby chairs. He crossed the room and dove straight into the icebox to get some ice pops. 

"Hey, Eric, how's it going?"

Eric had been so wrapped up in his own head that he barely registered Donna’s voice. He didn’t even want to look over at her. Buddy’s face was branded in his mind, and he’d like to keep it that way. “Oh hey what’s up.”

Eric leaned against the ice box and sucked on his red popsicle with his eyes on the dirty basement rug. Eyes unfocused on his immediate surroundings, he was zoning out. He seemed to be doing that more frequently whenever Buddy wasn’t around. And when he finally looked up, all his friends were staring at him. Even Jackie, who would never give him the time of day. 

"What's everyone looking at?" 

"What are we looking at? Man, we haven't seen you in days!" Hyde speaks up for the rest of the group. “You blow us off for weeks and then you waltz in here with hickeys all over your neck and expect us not to wonder what the fucks goin on?!”

“Hickeys?!?” Eric clamped his hands over his exposed neck. “Those aren’t hickeys, those are… bug bites!”

"Oh cut the crap Eric! We all know those are hickeys!” Jackie’s shrill voice interjected. 

“Who gave you those?” Donna pressed.

Kelso bounded over to Eric’s side to inspect the damage. He poked at Eric’s marked neck humorously. “DAMN, who ever it was, they fuckin mauled you, man!! You look like a cheetah!”

“Can you stop that!” He swatted Kelso away. Eric waved his hand around and attempted to skew the conversation in a different direction. “Look guys I’m sorry for not being around a lot! I’m not ditching you on purpose… it’s just that—”

“It’s more fun being with Buddy than us!?” Donna crossed her arms as she spoke. 

“What?! No! I didn’t say that!”

“But you were thinking it!” Hyde pointed his finger at him knowingly. 

"And that's not the only reason we're upset with you!!" Kelso added quite goofily, even though he was trying to be serious.

"It's my only reason." Hyde informs Kelso. 

"I thought you had another reason," Kelso looks over at him with his usual dumbfounded expression. 

"No, that's pretty much it." Hyde intertwines his hands in his chair. 

“So Eric, who bestowed all these hickeys on you? Hmm? Was she hot?” Fez chimed in with more questions.

“For the last time! They’re not hickeys guys! I just have really really nice skin and the bugs come after me…”

His friends didn’t look convinced, but he was already getting tired of talking about this. Why does everyone have to be here? Why can’t they all just go home? I wish Buddy was here. 

"Where's Buddy?" Donna gives him a sharp questioning look from her spot on the couch.

"Oh, Buddy! Um… Well… Buddy got busy, so…" He trailed off, as his mind wandered off to what had happened that night. Or what had almost happened.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he has a lot to do. He is popular and all." Jackie says with a flick of her hair. 

"Yes and so obviously gay." Fez responds with a smile. Eric freezes completely and looks over with wide eyes. 

"Buddy is not gay!" exclaims Jackie.

"Please, Fez! That's just stupid! If Buddy was gay he would have been all over me!" Kelso declares confidently. Everyone turns and silently judges him. "Well, he would've!"

Eric rolls his eyes at that and continues eating his popsicle. The gang just keeps on teasing and pestering each other like usual. He breathes easier when they finally drop the questions about the hickeys. He has always been terrible at lying when it counted the most. Hyde has always had a keen ear for catching his lies too. Either way he dodged a bullet.

An hour later, the basement finally cleared out. Jackie and Kelso walked off past the Forman garage. "See you guys later," Donna waved at them good naturedly. As she heads for her own house, Hyde grabs her arm and pulls her back into the circle.

"So, Foreman? Now that the scary kids are gone, is Buddy gay?" The street light shimmered off of Hyde’s large glasses. 

"Well, I don't think it's really my place to…" Eric picks at his coat anxiously. 

"He's gay!" Donna and Hyde say in unison. 

"Ok, guys I think you’re way off base here but whatever !” Eric threw up his arms in a dramatic shrug. “Whatever! It’s your call! Totally your call.” He backed away slowly until he reached the sliding door to his house. “Goodnight guys.” And that was the end of that. It might of not been entirely convincing but he couldn’t care less. He just wanted to be in his room already, lay out his bed. Sleep was calling his name.

                                 . . .

Later than night, right after Eric flipped off the lights and went to bed, the feeling of Buddy’s lips and teeth on him presented itself center stage in his mind. The sensation of Buddy’s mouth sucking hickeys into his skin mingled with his imagination. With twitching fingers, he glided his fingertips against his marked neck. It left him shivering. He really wanted to jerk off right now, but there was just one little problem. 

His door was gone. 

Ever since Red found out about how he likes to sleep naked, he’s been exposed. No access to privacy or the comforts of the flesh. The only times he’s been able to touch himself safely is when he’s showering. And that’s if Red’s not home. Otherwise he’s unconsciously grinding into his pillow in the middle of the night to relieve all the pent up sexual tension in his body. If the circumstances were any different, he would of jerked off seven times by now. The fear of Red or his mother catching him doing the dirty act is the only thing keeping his hands up. It really sucks. Why did it have to be this weekend ? When is the door coming back on? 

Eric ripped off his pajama pants, balled them up and threw them at the space where the door should be. He crashed back down into his bed with an angry huff and yanked his blankets over his shoulders. Blinking slowly, he stared into the void of darkness and thought of Buddy again. For the millionth time.

He thought about how his laugh would make him laugh. How cute he was whenever they were studying. How calm and cool he handled situations. How his eyebrows would pinch together whenever he’d smile too hard. Everything about him was wonderful. 

There was nothing that he didn’t like about Buddy. Nothing at all. Not even when he’d get all moody or too picky about clothing taste and whatnot. That’s what made Buddy, Buddy. And he liked every single bit of him. There was no denying that. 

There was no lying to himself. His feelings were real even if he turned away and tried to ignore them, they would just manifest even stronger than before. 

I … like… Buddy… 

He fell asleep shortly after. 

About an hour later, Kitty appeared in his doorway to check on him. Probably requested by Red. She saw Eric cocooned in his blankets, mumbling incoherently in his sleep. She chuckled with amusement and then went off to her room. The night grew colder, the crickets chirped in the recesses of empty shadows. And a strange dream formed in Eric’s mind. 

The sky was a soft brush of blue. It was warm. The wind was flowing soothingly in his hair. He was standing in a golden meadow. A loose white blouse clung to his torso. The long stalks of dry grass tickled his knees. He heard a sound and looked up. Someone was waving at him in the distance. A lonely figure. They were standing between two large oak trees. The only trees he could see in the vast meadow. Eric started walking towards them. Before he knew it, he was in front of the pair of trees. He was in front of Buddy. He couldn’t help the feeling of happiness from bubbling up into his throat. His voice broke as he spoke, “hey..”

Buddy smiled brightly at him. As bright as the sun. His black hair ruffled against his forehead. His eyes gleamed with interest. They never strayed away from Eric’s. “Come sit with me.”

He grabbed Eric’s hand and pulled him along to one of the bigger trees. They sat together on the unearthed roots of the oak tree. With their heads up against the rough trunk, they gazed past the green branches and into the wondrous sky. Clouds drifted by slowly. Birds chirped from their spots high up in the tree. All was tranquil, all was quiet. It was quiet enough to where he could hear his own heartbeat. He wondered if Buddy could hear it too. Was it too loud? Buddy turned to look at him as Eric studied the clouds. 

“You know… I think about you all the time.”

Eric shifted his face and gave his attention to Buddy. Their eyes met. “Yeah me too.”

“No Eric… I think about you at night… every single night. Every time I close my eyes, I see you..”

“So do I Buddy…” Eric lifted his hands in an attempt to cup Buddy’s face. 

Buddy grabbed his wrists in irritation.“No Eric! You don’t understand!” His dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration. And then his voice went low, practically a whisper. “I think of you in that type of way… i want to do things to you… I-I want to touch you…” 

Eric gulped as he stared at Buddy. The tone of his voice did not match the intensity his eyes held. His dark brown eyes were burning with this type of need. The type that leaves you aching if left ignored. Eric opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried again with more determination. “Then… touch me..” 

Buddy stared at him a little longer before he did as he’s told. He leaned in with his hands still clutching Eric’s wrists and kissed him. The kiss became many kisses. Deeper, wetter, heavier kisses. Buddy licked into Eric’s mouth hungrily. He placed Eric’s hands around his shoulders and then Buddy curled his hands on the lower part of Eric’s back. Buddy didn’t let up. He didn’t stop kissing him, not even to breathe. It seemed he was trying to map out every inch of Eric’s mouth with his tongue. And when he finally stopped, he dove right for Eric’s neck. Like an animal going for the kill. 

He latched on to Eric’s smooth skin and started sucking. Eric whined and balled his fists into Buddy’s white blouse. His body tingled, his hands began to shake a little from the sensation of Buddy licking the tender spots he created on his neck. Slowly and confidently, Buddy traced Eric’s jaw with his lips. Lips inches from lips, he asked him sultry. “Are you hard?”

Eric shook his head; their noses bumped together. “Yeah..”

Buddy closed the gap and kissed him hard, leaving him breathless. “Do you want more? Do you want me to do more to you?”

Eric whined as he felt Buddy palm him through his shorts. “Ahhhh! Yes … please… do whatever you want..”

Buddy smiled devilishly. He hooked his fingers onto Eric’s shorts and pulled them completely off him. He placed them on the roots for Eric to sit on. And then Buddy knelt down in front of Eric’s knees. 

At first, he just stared at it. Eric thought that maybe there was something wrong. That he had changed his mind or something. Was he disgusted? Was he disappointed? A moment later, he found out it wasn’t any of that. Simply admiration, possibly adoration. Buddy grabbed Eric’s throbbing pink cock with his right hand and started to pump him. In long, drawn out strokes he moved. Up and down. Up and down. Buddy focused on Eric’s facial expressions, on his unsteady breaths, on the way he shivered whenever he touch the tip of his cock. 

A couple strokes later he stopped. He switched tactics and started using his mouth. He’d first pepper Eric’s hard shaft with light kisses, from the very tip all the way to the base, and then he’d lick a long stripe along the underside of his cock. All the attention on his erection had Eric crouching over, crying out. It felt amazing. Buddy would press his tongue on the vein running up his cock and it’ll make Eric squirm. It wasn’t long before he took all of him in his mouth. Eric groaned loudly as he felt Buddy’s lips close around him. He weaved his fingers into Buddy’s thick black hair and held steady. 

Buddy began to bob his head up and down. Eric whined under his breath, lost in the feeling of Buddy’s hot mouth around him. He was deepthroating him now. Eric would cry out each time he’d feel Buddy swallow. It felt so good, he thought he’d die if it didn’t continue. He wanted a bit more.

It seemed Buddy had read his mind. He snaked his arms up and cupped Eric pump butt. In a gentle manner he pushed him forward, urging him to stand. Once Eric was standing, Buddy tilted his head up with Eric’s wet cock still in his mouth and gave him a meaningful look. And then he moved Eric’s waist with his hands, forward and back. Forward and then back. He repeated it until Eric understood what he wanted. So he did just that. He started to fuck Buddy’s mouth. He began thrusting his hard cock in and out of Buddy’s mouth. Panting and moaning with each movement. His grip of Buddy’s hair was ferociously tight. His light brown bangs bounced against his forehead. He could feel his balls swing in time with each solid thrust. Looking at Buddy’s swollen pink lips taking him in made him want to cum right then and there. He was so so so close. He could feel it. His thrusts became a little faster, a little more erratic. “Ahh-ahhh, ahhh-ahh! Ahh!” He scrunched up face, full of concentration. A couple more thrusts and he’d definitely cum. 

A few seconds later he ejected his load into Buddy’s mouth. He saw Buddy swallow most of it down before releasing his limp cock from his mouth. Eric stared at him in awe, coming down from the afterglow of his climax. There was some cum dripping down Buddy’s chin so Eric knelt down without thinking and licked it right off his skin. Buddy shuddered back with wide eyes; clearly shocked that he did that. But soon after that, he chuckled and grinned at Eric. “ And you say I’m too much !” 

Eric jolted awake at four in the morning. The room filled with the sound of his swallow panting. His bangs stuck to his forehead from excessive sweating. He found himself in his bed with all the blankets kicked off, with an impressive amount of cum soaking his briefs. 

He rubbed at his face and cursed at himself and all the gods he could think of. That dream felt so real... He wished it was. 

With a heavy sigh, he pulled off his dirty briefs and replaced it with a clean one. He laid back down with his blankets over his body and stared somberly out his window. The silhouette of the tree branches waved at him; the wind hadn’t mellowed down. He wondered what Buddy was doing. If he was asleep or not, if he was dreaming in that big ass bed of his. What was he dreaming of? Was he sleeping alone? Oh god, what if he’s not sleeping alone? What if someone’s with him? That Thomas guy is always hanging around him, what if he’s there, right now?

Without thinking Eric reached over for the dial phone his mother had placed on his nightstand for emergencies. And before he could stop himself, he punched in Buddy’s home number.

As he heard the ringing, he realized that it was more likely that someone other than Buddy would probably pick up the phone. He prayed that his friend’s parents were heavy sleepers. After several long rings, his hope was falling short. He was about to give up and hang up when he heard someone pick up. 

Buddy’s unmistakable voice came across, groggy with sleep he answered. “Ugh … this is the Morgan residence.”

“Buddy?”

Confusion clouded Buddy’s voice. “Eric??”

Eric peeked at the gaping hole where his door used to stand, and then cupped his hands around the phone. “Yeah it’s me…”

Buddy’s voice sharpened, awareness setting in, “Are you okay? Why are you calling so late?”

“I-I just… Where are you?”

“I’m in my room… why? Did something happen? Are you okay?!”

“Yeah I’m okay. I just…” Eric hesitated. Maybe it wasn’t his right to ask if he was alone or not. Maybe he shouldn’t have called.

“Just what? Eric do you need me to go over there? What happened?” A hint of panic started to edge into Buddy’s voice. 

“No no it’s okay. Everything is fine. I was just…  thinking of you… i wish you were here…”

The line went quiet. A moment passed before Buddy spoke into the receiver, “I wish I was there too… there’s never a moment when I’m not thinking of you. You don’t understand what you do to me…”

A smile grew on his face, as he clutched the phone to his ear, “I think I’m starting to understand now…”

“Really?”

Eric nodded even though Buddy couldn’t see him, “Yeah… I had this dream…”

“What was this dream about?”

“Um… well… you were there and I was there and we were—”

The sound of a door opening interrupted Eric’s train of thought. He stopped talking and listened intently. Footsteps were coming down the hall. He’d know those footsteps anywhere. 

Buddy’s voice sounded in his ear, “What were we doing?  What happened in your dream?!”

Eric froze like a deer in the headlights for three seconds, and then he whispered frantically into the receiver, “I gotta go, my dad's up.”

He couldn’t make out what Buddy had said after he hung up the phone. It didn’t matter in that moment. All that mattered was looking like he was passed out, asleep in bed before Red would walk by his room. In a rush, he covered the bulky phone with his blanket and laid down to pretend sleep. 

Even with his eyes pinched shut, he could feel the presence of Red in the doorway. The merciless eyes staring daggers in his direction. When the man finally shuffled away and he heard the click of the bathroom door shut, he breathed easier. That was a close one. 

Eric wondered what Buddy had said or what he was about to say. And then it dawned on him. Was he really going tell him the whole fucking dream? What the hell is wrong with him? Was he dense? Who does that?!

Despite knowing how it’ll turn out, he hoped Buddy would just forget about it. He closed his eyes again, and soon fell asleep. His dreams were empty ones.

Every night that followed, he dreamed of Buddy. Every single night without fail. He was going to run out of clean briefs. Despite all the wet dreams he was having, the weekend passed by normally. Chores were completed. Homework was taken care of. His friends bothered him now and then. And Buddy stayed in the limelight of his head.