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Harry sighed and looked at himself in the cracked and peeling mirror of the tiny employee bathroom in the back of the diner. The dim light above the sink cast shadows on his face making the dark circles beneath his eyes appear even darker and his skin seem more pale.
It was only minutes before his shift was scheduled to start and already he wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through the night. The ties of his apron weren’t long enough to reach around his pregnant belly anymore, and even after he’d tied some black ribbon to bridge the gap, the pockets rested over the curve at such an angle that his folder and notebook caught on everything and toppled out onto the floor more times than he could count. That presented another problem when he couldn’t even bend over to put on his shoes let alone pick something so thin off the tile. It was hard to hold back tears of frustration every time he had to ask the cook or even one of the customers to help him out. He was used to being independent.
He gave himself another once over and smoothed his hands over the flyaways that always popped out from his bun with another sigh. He didn’t have the energy to put much into his appearance lately. It wasn’t worth the effort or energy when he had to pick up extra overnight shifts because they paid a dollar more an hour and Bobby kept him up half the day back at home monopolizing their crappy radio. It was a wonder he was even still standing.
The town was small, but the diner had a pretty steady crowd stopping in off the highway at all hours of the day. He could make some pretty good tips in the wee hours of the morning if he let the perverted alpha truckers get a good look at his belly while he served them. He wasn’t sure why it was a trend with them. Maybe it was the unfiltered primal urges of an alpha to procreate, but it always made him feel dirty. Not only could he practically hear their thoughts projected through their hungry gazes, they weren’t afraid to open their mouths to voice it either. Harry had become a pro at masking his expression when the tone of their remarks made bile rise up the back of his throat. He learned quickly that a snappy comeback or disgusted look was a sure way to forfeit a tip.
Every night it was the same and he’d stopped expecting or even hoping for something different.
It had only been an hour since he’d clocked in when Bobby showed up with a loud and obnoxious group of his friends. They sat in Harry’s section and called out loudly for service while slamming their hands on the table with Bobby the leader of it all. They all laughed like it was the funniest joke in the world to demand attention like kings expected from their slaves while Harry flushed in embarrassment. The volume of their scene had turned the heads of every customer in every booth so he had an audience when he submissively approached their table. It was humiliating enough when strange alphas treated him like dirt and even worse when he knew them.
He wished he could say it wasn’t a common occurrence, but it was. His swollen feet ached as he waddled his way over and tried not to make his eye roll visible to his other tables. The last thing he needed were some hicks stiffing him after they saw him being disrespectful to a table of alphas. They wouldn’t know or care that it was just his asshole boyfriend making his life difficult. His presence at the diner was the least of his problems and not worth the fight.
After putting their order in, he let himself have a moment for a few tears fall in the bathroom over the turn the night had already taken. Hardly a night went by when he didn’t need a moment about something. It was hard work being on his feet for a nine hour shift when he was nearly eight months pregnant. It was even worse that it was over the hours that his body begged him to be sleeping.
None of that mattered to Bobby when he wasn’t the one who had to sacrifice anything. They had the same conversation every night he came into the diner and each night it made him feel even more insignificant. The outcome was always the same.
“You know this comes out of my paycheck, right?”
“Aww, babe, it’s our paycheck. Daddy needs to eat, too.”
Bobby would pat his belly and give him a look just daring Harry to cause a scene until Harry would swallow his anger and enter their ticket under his account. God, he hated this close-minded, redneck town and everyone in it. His belly was an unhappy reminder that he was probably stuck in it for life. It was this stupid uneducated town and being a product of it that had gotten him into this situation in the first place. He’d hardly even had a chance.
He felt stupid every time he thought about it. He still couldn’t believe that at the age of nineteen he hadn’t thought he could get pregnant outside of his heat. The basketball stretching his stomach was proof that he definitely could and he resented the peer pressure that made him think he needed to have sex in the first place. Bobby was hardly his type and it hadn’t even been that great, but there hadn’t been a lot of options. All of it was the same cycle that kept repeating itself with generation after generation. He saw it all around him everyday and now he was part of it. When sex education wasn’t more than one afternoon in middle school with the genders separated into different classrooms, it was hardly a surprise.
He wiped his eyes and splashed some cold water on his face before his eyes could get too red and puffy. He had that down to a science. He stepped back out into the dining room where Bobby ignored his existence now that he’d gotten his way. It was for the best even if Harry wished he was with someone who cared a little more. Bobby didn’t even sing to him or the baby. At the very least some positive vocal attention from the father would at least help with Harry’s aches and pains after he came home from work.
Harry could accept that he couldn’t afford to go to one of the nice music cafes. His family never had the money for sessions for any ailment or even just wellbeing when he was growing up. It wasn’t vital, they’d always say. People had been living hundreds of years existing on homemade music long before modern musical medicine had been born.
It had never been a problem for Harry to absorb his musical nutrients through cheap radios and organic voices when he was growing up. He was healthy and his hearing had been fine. He’d been brought up with the belief that all that fancy music was a big scheme, a fraud to swindle people out of money. Now that he was older, it was fairly obvious they’d developed that mindset as an excuse to themselves since they were too poor to have access to it.
From the amount of drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence and other chronic illnesses Harry had grown up around, that was the conclusion he’d come to. When that was all they knew, it was easy to accept that was just how people were meant to be. Denial was a stubborn beast.
Now that Harry was pregnant, he couldn’t understand how entire populations were stubborn enough to just put up with their poor health. His cravings were monumental and, with only an hour a day with their cheap radio if he was lucky, his body and mental health were paying the price. His fatigue and near constant morning sickness were only the tip of the iceberg and he found no relief.
He tried not to let it happen, but sometimes he daydreamed about being rich enough to be able to listen to the tones he was craving whenever he wanted. He imagined all the rich people out in Hollywood who had their own systems at home and could binge whenever they needed to. That’s why they all looked so young and beautiful, he was sure. They didn’t have to rely on free radio shows that never played anything good. It was all rejected junk that could barely sustain anyone.
He couldn’t even fathom what being pregnant would feel like if he absorb what he needed, if he could cave to every sound craving. He wouldn’t be so swollen and depressed and in such pain after a shift, that’s for sure.
He burned his hand on hot coffee, tilted maple syrup off a dirty plate onto his belly in a sticky mess, nearly yaked all over the table when some alpha tries to rub his belly and dozed off leaning against the counter behind the pie display case no less than three times by the end of his shift but somehow made it through.
The early morning sun was shining through the large windows and reflecting off the polished finish of the tables when Dottie and Renee walked in on Harry’s wide yawns. They both fawned over his belly as old omegas are prone to do and Harry didn’t have the heart to refuse the attention. They were just coworkers but it was really the only positive attention the baby got.
They cornered him in the back where he was hanging up his apron and rubbing the imprints left by the buttons down his smock where his apron had pressed them into his skin.
“We can tell you haven’t been feeling the greatest,” Dottie said with a gentle hand on his arm.
“What? No, I’m fine,” Harry threw on one of his customer smiles as he lied.
“Harry, stop. It’s okay. We can tell. And that deadbeat alpha of yours isn’t helping.” Renee shook her head and the fake smile dropped from his face.
“We all pooled together and got you a certificate at that fancy music cafe over in Riverside,” Dottie said with a gentle squeeze of his arm. “It’s not much, but it’ll help get you and the baby healthy.”
Harry felt like he could burst into tears at their concern and thoughtfulness and that was exactly what ended up happening. Blubbering thank yous and gratitude, he hugged the two women and couldn’t believe that they cared about him that much. They probably had never been to the cafe themselves even though Harry knew that Dottie had struggled with cancer and Renee had her own issues. Still, they’d gone out of their way to give Harry and his baby a chance to have the full quality sound-meal he’d been craving, been needing , for months.
The walk home went by faster than it usually did as he thought about all the tones he’d be able to savor at the cafe. He’d been craving some lighter tones that the radio stations didn’t often dole out for free. Beggars can’t be choosers, but for once, Harry was going to get to be a chooser. He would call for an appointment just as soon as he took a nap. It would be his first time and he was giddy with anticipation.
His back was screaming at him to sit down and rest by the time he’d made it through the door after his nearly mile long walk. He kicked off his shoes and stripped down to his underwear in the overly warm air of the house. House was a generous term for the one bedroom crackerbox, but it was cheap. Previously it had been part of a quaint little highway motel with each room being its own tiny cottage. He imagined it must have been adorable back in its prime. Now only a few of the structures remained and the run down shack was the only thing they could afford. It was freezing in the winter and hot in the summer and unbearable to Harry in his pregnant state.
The sheets felt cool against his skin for approximately two seconds, but he was too tired to care. He curled up on his side as best he could around his belly and prayed that the little one would let him sleep without being too much of a pain.
He’d barely drifted off when the sound of the rickety old front door being thrown open jolted him awake.
“Harry! I don’t have any clean underwear!”
Harry groaned. The baby hated Bobby’s voice or at least the baby hormones hated it. The sound made him feel heavy and sluggish and even nauseous at times.
“Throw a load of laundry in then,” he croaked back sleepily. That turned out to be a mistake when Bobby appeared at the bedroom door a few seconds later.
“My show’s on right now, you know that.”
Of course. Because heaven forbid he miss a show he’d just decided he had a taste for two days before. Harry hadn’t been able to listen to anything for months and he was the one who really needed it.
Bobby stared at him expectedly until Harry finally groaned and somehow pulled himself out of bed. He scooted the clothes basket around the room with his foot to collect all of Bobby’s dirty clothes that were strewn about. He couldn’t bend over or squat so he had to use his toes to pick up the clothing and drop it into the basket one by one. The start of Bobby’s program on the radio in the other room was enough to make him sick. The baby didn’t like that kind of junk either.
Without bothering to get redressed, Harry tied his robe around his belly and left the house with the clothes basket held against his hip. It was heavy even with the refilled small detergent bottle instead of the large one and each step required a lot of concentration just to keep him going. The common building that only housed an old coin operated set of a washer and dryer was luckily not far away but it might as well have been ten miles in his state. His cheap Walmart slippers did little to cushion his swollen feet, unable to get any of his regular shoes so soon after a long shift.
He yawned as he dumped the basket in and fit the quarters into each slot. As soon as he slid them in he groaned as he remembered he hadn’t grabbed his uniform to throw in as well. Whatever. He’d just deal with wearing it again. The trip to the house and back wasn’t worth the energy.
About to sit down on the rusted folding chair in the corner, Harry stopped when he heard the faint sounds of something in the distance. He rushed outside to follow the lilting tones and nearly moaned at the bit of relief his body felt with just the small taste. It faded off into the distance as the car drove off and he stood in the sun rubbing his belly while he tried to savor what he could. It was just enough sound energy to carry him back into the house where he curled back up on the bed with a hint of a smile to take a quick nap before the washer cycle was done.
———
The next morning after his shift Harry was dragging yet still had just a bit of pep just under the surface. The cafe had been able to book him an appointment that morning and Dottie had been nice enough to loan him her car while she was at work anyway.
He changed out of his uniform in the tiny cubicle of a bathroom into his comfiest sweats and a plain white tshirt that had to be stretched over his belly. He didn’t care. It was made from the softest, stretchiest material and it felt so good against his skin. He wanted to relax during his session, not worry about how uncomfortable his clothes were.
It was nearly a half hour drive and Harry already knew it was going to be worth it. He’d drive hours to satisfy one of his baby cravings if he had the opportunity.
The waiting room was painted and furnished with warm colours that felt cozy. Already music could be heard coming lightly from all directions in some kind of surround sound system and it made him feel calm and at ease.
The receptionist handed him an iPad and he balanced it on his belly when he sat down. It took him through a series of surveys that asked him questions that ranged from his mood to his digestive health. It also asked him about his current sound diet and experience at professional cafes. He looked extremely unhealthy when he saw it all displayed in little bubbles at the end. When he thought about it, he already knew he was. He just hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the extent.
The consultant that looked over Harry’s results and took his vitals seemed alarmed at his state when he was so pregnant. She wrote out her recommendations and even offered to give Harry a discount if he would consider coming back the next week. That didn’t seem like good news and he rubbed his belly anxiously and accepted the discount even though he knew he couldn’t even afford the gas money to make the trip again let alone another session. Maybe he could search for a radio show at least similar to what she had suggested. There had to be one out there. He hoped so anyway as they led him down the hallway to start.
Harry eased back into the fancy recliner that immediately soothed his back or at least shifted him into a more comfortable position for once. The little room was painted a calm blue with white accents which made his mind feel like a blank slate. There wasn’t much to get distracted by in its minimalist decoration and he figured that was on purpose.
They fitted him with something that looked like a version of a motorcycle helmet but with less emphasis on padding. They tested the sound and already his nerves pricked in anticipation. He’d never heard anything sound so clear or so pure. There was an expression like fine wine which he’d heard people use. Of course Harry wouldn’t know having never had fine wine, but he imagined this was about the same thing.
They gave him a thumbs up and then left him alone in the small room just as the gentle notes of the piano began to fill his head. He wasn’t just hearing with his ears, he was hearing with his whole mind and he’d never experienced anything so incredible and satisfying.
That is, until the voice started and he was overwhelmed once again. The tone made him want to break down and cry in relief, the first time in months he didn’t feel like a knotted up ball of tension. His body had been screaming out for nutrients Harry couldn’t provide and suddenly it was like a flood after a drought. Harry wasn’t sure if he could handle so much at once. He could feel it filtering through his pores and pulsing through his bloodstream.
By the time the recording transitioned into another song with a full band and richer tones than the first simplistic track, Harry can feel the energy flowing and cycling through him to his baby. He could feel them wiggling around in his belly with the same buzzing energy he was feeling
He was so happy, he was so energized and— he was so hard. It was the first time anything had happened down there since the baby sucked the energy out of him when they made sure their presence was known. His body had crashed hard in those first few weeks before he’d learned why and it had been an uphill battle ever since with his sex drive taking a backseat to literally every other bodily function.
His toes curled while he resisted the urge to touch after having gone so long, hands grounded on his belly so they wouldn’t wander. He wasn’t going to touch himself in public! Plus, it was kind of hard to reach it in his state in any way that would be satisfying.
He thought he was going to be fine until a flawlessly executed high note forced his orgasm out of him in surprise. Having come untouched and left panting, he could feel the mess getting uncomfortable in his pants. He didn’t even care so long as the alpha timbre continued to cycle through his soul. Nothing could rip that helmet away from him in that moment. They’d have to pry it from his cold, dead hands.
There was only one main voice that was featured in all the songs that played through his sessions. Even over the different styles and tempos Harry could tell it was the same alpha. By the time the last gentle song tapered off, he was addicted. So full from his session, he could already feel the edges of a craving that would surely be there the moment his body had digested everything he’d just taken in.
They returned to remove the helmet and offer him some water and Harry was still so overwhelmed he could hardly process the real world starting to move around him.
“That alpha…” Harry grabbed one of the technician’s attention, “Is there a radio program I can find him on?”
She checked his file and then shook her head. “He’s a certified professional provider. One of the more popular ones, actually. He’s on your recommendation for next week, too.”
After he’d cleaned up and taken a moment to himself in the bathroom, he spent the entire drive back to the diner on autopilot. He was consumed by his need for another meal, his body demanding it now after being fed so well. He wasn’t sure how it would happen, but he had to come up with the money to go back next week.
He was thankful Bobby wasn’t around when he finally made it back home. The bed felt like heaven when he curled up on his side, not even minding the stifling heat for once. He hadn’t felt so good in ages and let that carry him off into the best sleep he’d had in months.
———
When Harry returned to work, he wondered how he’d ever been able to make it through the night so sound starved. His feet and ankles were still swollen and his back screamed at him the longer he stood, but there was just something different. The edge had been taken off and his energy levels were through the roof compared to before. Everyone seemed to notice the change in him and it made him even more determined to somehow make it to his appointment the next week. He’d called in and made it without even having the cash, but knew he had to make it work. For the sake of himself and his baby, he had to make it work.
He squirrelled away every single tip and raided the jar on top of the fridge. So the electric bill would get paid a little late. It wouldn’t be the first or last time that happened and Harry just accepted it as part of his life. Maybe if Bobby would get a job instead of his unsuccessful side hustles, they’d be able to make ends meet for once.
Until then, Harry decided he needed to be a little selfish. He couldn’t dwell on the fact that he was made to feel selfish for keeping himself healthy while he was pregnant. People in this town didn’t think that way. If they weren’t suffering, then they weren’t living. It was just the way it was when the whole county grew up and lived in poverty.
Dottie, being the sweetheart she was, allowed Harry to take her car to the cafe again the following week. Even with the discount, Harry was crushed when he still came up short. The receptionist took pity on him after he counted out his wad of single dollar bills on the counter.
“I think I can find some promos to cover the rest,” she said to him as she brushed off his protests. He was only ten dollars short but it still felt like more than he deserved.
His second session was even more euphoric than his first. He left the cafe floating with a calm baby in his belly and a settled stomach. The everpresent pain was dulled down and he felt like he could walk without wincing for the first time in months.
There was no way he could afford another trip or another session and he vowed to hold onto this fix for as long as he could. It was far fetched, but he hoped his body could survive on it up until the birth. He only had a few weeks left if he was lucky.
Those hopes were dashed only a few hours later when he was rudely startled awake by Bobby’s irritated tones.
“Hey babe, where are you tips? They aren’t in the jar and I need money for a six pack before I head down to the river to meet the boys.”
Harry sighed and didn’t understand how Bobby was still so focused on doing the same things they did back in high school when they had nothing better to fill their time. Bobby had plenty of ways he could spend his time if cared even a little about Harry or their unborn baby. For starters there were curtains that needed hung, a second hand crib that needed put together, money that needed to be made… It angered Harry that he seemed to be the only one who cared.
“Well you can’t have it. I used it for a prenatal tonal health session.”
“You used it to buy what??”
“You never even let me use the radio, Bobby!” Harry threw his hands up where he sat on the mattress with his naked belly resting down against his thighs, “I’ve been working odd hours and not sleeping and you’re so selfish about your damn beer that you don’t even care about the health of your baby!”
“I never wanted it! Why should I have to change my life for something I never asked for??”
Harry started to shake, Bobby’s sudden alpha voice unraveling all repair his session had done with its nauseating tones. His own voice came out a trembling whisper when he finally spoke knowing Bobby wouldn’t hear in his rage. “Because I had to give up mine.”
He let himself cry as he stroked his belly, so in love with the little life and so resentful at the same time. He started his shift that night with puffy eyes and an ache in his chest that he worried nothing would ever heal.
———
The sun had just started to send a glow over the horizon before it popped up itself the next morning. Harry stared at the gentle blue as it faded into pink in one of the most beautiful sunrises he had ever seen. He’d witnessed quite a few since he’d taken on the night shift, but there was something special about this one. The stars were still bright during the transition and it had to be some small gesture from the universe after he’d had such a shitty day.
The bell on the door rang out and Harry barely glanced to see Renee on her way to help the person who sat down along the bar to place a to-go order.
Harry was so lost in the colours of the sky that he hardly noticed what was happening. A smile grew on his face and he closed his eyes to savor the feeling that washed over his body. A sunrise had never had that effect on him before, and then he realized that it wasn’t the sunrise at all. He wasn’t even paying attention to that anymore, the back of his eyelids hardly giving him a view.
No, it was the sound. It had ebbed its way into his consciousness so gradually that he hadn’t even registered the tones that made his body settle.
He opened his eyes and his feet started moving him towards the source like a moth to a flame. It was the alpha sitting at the bar who hummed absently as he waited for his food. Harry would know those light and airy tones anywhere. They had become his favourite meal, his strongest craving.
He must have approached the man with stars in his eyes because he startled to a stop and looked up with a questioning hesitance.
“It’s you,” was all Harry could manage to say.
“It’s me?”
The alpha glanced around and then his eyes settled back on Harry.
“I’d been feeling like crap and having these cravings, you know, because of the baby, and then my coworkers got me this certificate and I went to this cafe for the first time and oh my god it was you and I’ve been so desperate since I got a taste but I can’t afford to go again and then I heard you over here and oh my god .”
Somewhere in his mind Harry was very aware of how stupid his rambling sounded and he would probably be embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the beaming smile that broke out on the alpha’s face.
“Oh yeah?” The alpha asked and Harry could see smile lines around his eyes that made him seem so warm and genuine. He couldn’t look away. Even his speaking voice was better than treats at Christmas.
“The baby loved it and I hadn’t felt so good in ages and I just wanted to binge until I couldn’t move.”
The alpha blushed and looked a little bashful by Harry’s flattery, but his smile never faded.
“I like hearing that I’ve helped people,” he smiled softly and Harry never wanted him to stop talking. “Sometimes this job is really draining and it’s nice to be reminded of why I do it.”
“Please don’t stop. I was so upset when they said you weren’t offered on any radio program. The cafe is so far away and with this baby coming I can’t afford to go back anyway. I can’t believe you just wandered in like this. The baby is going crazy just hearing you speak!”
The alpha seemed in awe as he stared at Harry’s belly. “The baby? Really?”
“Yeah! Feel!” Harry took his hand without thinking twice and pressed it against the place the baby had been kicking. “Just, I don’t know, keep talking or something.”
To Harry’s delight– though he nearly fainted right there– the alpha started to softly sing until the baby responded and he stopped with another bright smile.
“Wow.”
“They were so wound up when I left my session. In a good way, though. Felt really good.”
“I’m uh– There’s a concert tomorrow night or, well, tonight I guess. A concert of mine, I mean. Would you want to come?”
He appeared to realize his hand was still pressed against Harry’s belly on its own and pulled it away awkwardly.
“That sounds great,” Harry said with a wistful sigh, “But I can’t afford it.”
“I’d leave you tickets, I meant,” he shrugged.
“Oh. That’s very nice of you but I don’t have a way to get there—”
“I’ll send a car,” he interrupted Harry’s excuse. “I’ll send a car and have it bring you back. Please. I’d love to have you. I’m Louis by the way.”
He held his hand out and Harry shook it while he chewed on his lip in thought.
“I have a shift tonight, too.”
“I’ll cover it!” Renee spoke up as she passed behind them and Harry blushed.
“Looks like you’re free, then.” Louis smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. “So I’ll see you tonight?”
Harry tried to hide his grin but nodded.
———
The car picked Harry up outside the diner where he’d instructed Louis to send it and then spent the forty-five minute drive in anxious silence while he stared out the window. Where he was from paying for any kind of music was scoffed at so a live concert was absolutely unheard of. Harry never dreamed he’d be able to attend one. Now he had been invited by the performer and was being escorted to what would probably be the most amazing experience of his life. He was a little giddy and very nervous.
When he arrived at the venue he was overcome by the crowds of people gathering around each section of doors. He’d never seen so many people in one place in his life and it only became more astonishing once he was inside. He was led to a section in the middle of the huge space with a stage on one end and a ring of seats that looped around where he was standing.
“Best sound in the house,” the person who must be an assistant told him with a wink and then left him alone to wait for the show to start. He picked at the square VIP sticker stuck to his shirt and self consciously fussed with the way it stretched over his belly. He didn’t have any clothes for an outing that fit him and worried he stood out amongst the groups wearing dresses or nice dark wash jeans with their hair styled and makeup perfectly applied.
He’d left his own hair down and wondered if it looked alright without the bit of gel he used to wear in it to keep his curls together. He’d run out a while back and hadn’t been able to justify purchasing more. It was difficult to convince himself he wasn’t there to impress anyone anyone. Even if that had been his aim, his swollen belly was deal breaker, not his hair.
The lights came down not long after he’d been seated and his anticipation grew as the crowds around him all stood and started to scream in excitement. He’d never been around anyone with such enthusiasm for anything let alone the thousands of people there with him. That Louis’ voice had an effect on so many people was a bit mindblowing to say the least. Harry had felt so alone in what he’d gained and it was so validating to see that he wasn’t just frivolous with how he felt.
Bobby was just one person trying to convince him he’d been scammed into believing in quality sound consumption. Now he felt like an entire arena had his back.
Harry wasn’t ashamed to admit that he shed tears of relief when songs he’d heard in his sessions washed over him in real time performances. The sound was so massive and all encompassing that it made him feel whole and healthy. The baby caught up to him a few songs in, squirming happily in his belly while their energy fed into Harry’s which in turn fed right back.
As much as Harry wanted to close his eyes and absorb everything that he could, watching Louis on stage was a gift all on its own. Visually and emotionally stimulating, Harry wondered how anyone was ever able to exist beyond this feast.
When the show inevitably came to an end, Harry had to sit down to bask in the afterglow. The people around him slowly started to filter out and he stared unseeing towards the stage with his hands resting on his belly. The baby was being so active in there and it made him feel warm to know they were happy.
The assistant who had brought him to his seat came to fetch him once the crowd had dispersed and led him back through a maze of tunnels until they arrived in a big garage large enough for several tour buses to be parked.
“Mr. Tomlinson requested that I bring you to meet him after the show,” the assistant said as she knocked loudly on the door before using a code to get in.
Harry was flattered. It was already beyond his expectations that he had been invited to the show at all, let alone everything else Louis had offered.
“Harry! Hi!” Louis met them at the door and offered Harry one of his hands to help him up the few stairs that led up to a small living space. It was nice and cool with a couch on either side and a small kitchenette just beyond. “Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”
Harry was still in a bit of a daze but smiled his thanks when Louis handed him a bottle of cold water. His voice was so calming in such close range. It was so different from the one he used on stage or the way he sang but still held the same properties.
“Thank you so much for inviting me tonight,” Harry said once Louis was settled in on the couch across from him. “I’ve never been to anything like it before.”
“Never been to a concert?” Louis asked him with surprise. “How have you never been to a concert??”
“Where I’m from no one can really afford to go to anything like that so I grew up hearing it was all a scam.”
Louis nodded as he listened, giving Harry his complete attention. “And what do you think now?”
“I think they’re all missing out,” Harry admitted with a hint of a blush tinting his cheeks. He tried to hide it behind the bottle of water as he took a sip.
“I’m glad you liked it. I tried to add a few songs tonight that were most likely tracks recommended to you. Did you know any?”
“Of course! Baby recognized a few, too,” he smiled fondly with a pat on his belly. “Got really excited in there towards the end.”
“Did you know I majored in prenatal sound health?” Louis asked as he came to sit next to Harry. “That obviously hasn’t been my sole focus, but I still have a soft spot for it. Can I?”
Louis gestured to his belly and while Harry wasn’t quite sure what Louis meant, he somehow trusted that he wouldn’t do anything Harry wasn’t okay with. It might have been the high he was still riding on that made him trust some strange alpha, but he didn’t feel threatened or uneasy.
Harry watched him place a hand on either side of his belly and thing sing part of a song that Harry had never heard before. Almost immediately the baby started squirming around and Louis looked up at him with an expression filled with awe.
“That is still so crazy to me!” Louis told him with a shake of his head, “That my voice can do that. I mean, I know that alphas have that effect on their own babies, but that mine does too.”
Harry’s face dropped a little with even the indirect mention of Bobby. He’d all but forgotten he existed since the concert had started.
“I wouldn’t know if this baby would have the same reaction to his father,” Harry chewed on his bottom lip. “He’s never done it. The baby never reacted that way to anything before they heard you.”
“Is he not in the picture, then?” Louis asked hesitantly and removed his hands.
“Might as well not be,” Harry said sadly and deflated in on himself as much as he could. “He doesn’t want the baby and doesn’t care.”
“Is he good to you at least?” Louis asked with timid hope.
Harry thought that maybe he should lie to Louis, but he didn’t have it in him to do so. He couldn’t pretend that him and Bobby were something that they were not, even to a stranger.
“We weren’t together and it wasn’t on purpose,” Harry finally said with a small sigh. “So it is what it is, really.”
“That’s no excuse. An alpha has just as much responsibility as an omega for the pregnancy to run smoothly. A baby shouldn’t be this far along without nourishment from their father. That’s unacceptable honestly.”
Harry pressed his lips together to hold back a smile. He’d never seen any alpha get so heated about a baby before. It was a rare gift to find an alpha who contributed back where he was from.
“Actually, here,” Louis got up and rummaged around until he came up with a piece of paper and a pen. “I’m going to give you my number and the next time you have a craving or just need a boost, you call me and I’ll have something sent over, okay?”
“Louis, you really don’t have to do that. You’ve already done so much with inviting me—”
“No, please. I insist. If anything, think of it as my life’s work. I studied so long to shape my music for this and I’ve found someone who has benefited from that more than anyone I have ever met. You’re not the one asking, I’m the one that wants to. So please, just call me.”
Louis pressed the paper into his hand and held it there until Harry finally nodded and folded the paper up to stick into his pocket.
“Now let me give you a comfortable ride home.”
Louis smile was warm and Harry didn’t have another option so he nodded.
It was late when the bus finally pulled out of the garage and Harry had shifted around until he eventually ended up laying on his side on the couch with his head resting on a throw pillow. He could be minutes away from sleep if he let himself.
“Why were you at the diner?” Harry asked in a slow and sleepy drawl, a yawn following right after.
“Bus stopped for fuel and I’m so sick of gas station food.” Louis wrinkled his nose. “I got out to stretch my legs and saw the diner across the street. Thought an early breakfast sounded nice.”
“I’m glad you came in,” Harry mumbled and it was the last thing he remembered before the bus pulled up to the diner and Louis was gently touching his shoulder to wake him.
“Sure we can’t drive you home? I know you don’t live at the diner.” Louis asked.
“No, it’s fine. It’s not too far.”
Harry sat up slowly and yawned. Even if it hadn’t been long, it had been such a good nap.
“Thank you so much again, Louis. It was amazing.”
Louis pulled Harry into a long hug, tight even with Harry’s awkward belly between them.
“I’ll be expecting a call,” Louis said after he’d helped Harry step down the stairs safely and then waved from the window before the bus pulled back onto the road.
Not wanting to rehash his evening with his curious coworkers quite yet, Harry ducked out of sight and went around the block before heading for home. He knew he should have accepted Louis offer to drive him to his house, but that didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to hide where he’d been yet knew his neighbors would see the bus and turn it into something it definitely wasn’t. People talked and Harry didn’t want to be at the center of it.
It was nearly four in the morning when Harry finally made it home and crawled into bed. The house was thankfully quiet with Bobby off god knows where and he savored the ability to fall asleep when it was still dark out for once. The baby was still squirming around in his belly but even that wasn’t enough to keep him awake. He drifted off feeling satisfied and happy, dreams of gentle voices and soft hands on his belly filling his head.
———
“Where the fuck were you??”
Harry startled awake with the loud slam of the bedroom door being thrown open and the harsh tones of Bobby’s alpha voice. His heart was already racing as he stared and tried to figure out what was going on after waking up so abruptly.
“Showed up at the diner last night and you weren’t fucking there. I know you weren’t home either. So where the fuck were you?”
Bobby was seething with anger and the aggressive timbre made Harry cower further against the wall. His body already trembled from his tone.
“A performer invited me to his concert,” Harry admitted weakly. His intention had never been to lie.
“So that’s what you’re doing with all my money, then? Throwing it all away on some hippie bullshit??”
“I didn’t have to pay for it and it’s not bullshit. I actually care about the health of our baby and the sessions have really helped us! So when the performer invited me to go, of course I said yes.”
“I don’t know what has gotten into you, but you embarrassed me last night. How do you think I looked when we showed up and I didn’t know where my omega was?? I can’t believe you’d fucking do that to me in front of my friends!!”
“They were my friends, too,” Harry said softly. Even if Harry had always thought they were assholes who would never amount to much, they had been Harry’s friends as well. He’d been informally removed from the group when he found out he was pregnant and had to start working long hours, yet Bobby acted as if Harry had to make a good impression on them.
“I won’t have my omega embarrassing me like that again, do you hear me?”
Bobby’s voice always had an edge that Harry couldn’t stomach and his alpha voice was so strong that Harry felt close to throwing up. The tones were all wrong and made his skin crawl and he needed to get away from it.
“I’m not your omega,” Harry forced out softly.
“What did you say?” Bobby growled at him.
“I said, I’m not your omega!!”
Even though he felt weak and nauseated with Bobby undoing every bit of good the night before had done, Harry forced himself to power through it. They’d never been together anyway, not really.
They’d fucked because that’s what Harry thought he was supposed to do and Bobby had been there. They’d knotted because Harry didn’t know he could tell him no. He’d gotten pregnant because they were both too stupid to know they needed to use a condom. They’d moved in together because Harry thought that was what came next.
There had never been anything close to a relationship between them, no hint of any love or commitment. It was just Bobby taking what he could and leaving Harry with what was left.
Harry wasn’t anyone’s omega. Harry was just a victim of unfortunate circumstances and he wasn’t going to let himself be subjected to that anymore.
“Like fucking hell you’re not,” Bobby growled and backed Harry into a corner.
He couldn’t even register what Bobby was saying with his alpha voice deconstructing every part of Harry’s mind. He could feel the stress it was putting on the baby and the pain it was bringing to his body. It felt like poison ripping through him and pushing acid up the back of his throat. It even burned up through his nose as he couldn’t swallow it back anymore, his stomach forcing him to reject its contents.
Vaguely aware that he’d just thrown up all over Bobby, he only collected himself when Bobby sprinted to the bathroom to realize he had a moment to escape. He scrambled to grab a handful of clothing and raced out the door without looking back.
He’d only made it a few blocks when he had to stop. His lungs burned and the muscles at his sides cramped painfully. Running wasn’t something he was used to even before he’d been pregnant. He hid around the corner of someone’s garage to pull on what turned out to be a tshirt, his robe and the pants he’d worn to the show. His feet were bare but he wasn’t about to go back to find any shoes.
The corner of the little folded note with Louis’ phone number printed on it was sticking out of the pocket of the pants as he pulled them on. He’d forgotten that had even happened. It all felt like a far off dream that happened to him in a different lifetime. He gripped it tightly in his hand as he kept walking, the paper growing damp with sweat.
By the time Harry reached the diner, he’d dissolved into gasping sobs and absolutely nothing within him felt okay. His bare feet were cut up and painful and his chest ached with laboured breaths. His stomach clenched in tight knots and he felt bad for the few yards he’d been forced to heave in along the way.
He was still shaking from the residual effects of Bobby’s voice and could hardly dial the numbers on the payphone that was still mounted next to a bench in the corner of the diner’s parking lot. It was a collect call and he wasn’t even expecting him to answer, but when he did, Harry broke down.
“Louis,” he managed to choke out through a sob. It was difficult to curl up on the bench with his awkward belly but somehow he did enough to feel small and unnoticeable.
“Harry??” Louis asked in concern.
“I– I know you were just being n–nice, and I wasn’t supposed to a–actually c–call, I just– Bobby just– and I– I just– can you please just t–talk for a few minutes so I can hear your voice?”
Harry knew it was selfish and inappropriate for him to be calling Louis like this. It wasn’t Louis’ responsibility to talk to some stranger having a crisis.
“Harry? Where are you? Are you okay?” Louis sounded worried which made Harry feel worse for bothering him. It also made him feel guilty that even those few words were already feeding the parts of his mind that needed it most.
“Please just– just talk for a minute? I’m s–sorry,” he sniffed and wiped his face with the edge of his robe. He still wasn’t able to take a full breath and put his hand on his belly where the baby hadn’t been squirming around.
He could tell that Louis wanted him to explain, but instead Louis started singing in the same gentle voice he had the night before when he’d touched Harry’s belly on the bus. It made him sob for another reason as the tones flooded his brain even through the tinney speaker of the abused payphone. It slowly moved down into his chest until he could at least take a full breath and then down into his belly where he felt the baby shift. It wasn’t much, but it was all the movement Harry needed to feel to know the baby was okay. He sobbed out a small laugh of relief which made Louis pause.
“Are you okay?” Louis asked again, his voice still gentle and soft.
“Baby moved,” Harry said with only a small hitch in his breath.
He was nowhere close to feeling fine, but the small portion of Louis’ voice had at least cleared his head enough to think.
“Where are you?” Louis asked
“Diner,” Harry sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes again.
“I’m coming to get you.”
“Louis, no. Don’t come get me. I shouldn’t have called, I just– I just didn’t know what to do and wasn’t thinking—”
“I’m on my way to get you. You shouldn’t be working when you’re so stressed.”
“I’m not working. I’m in the parking lot on the payphone.”
Harry looked around as if he’d just now realized this and was glad to find that he hadn’t attracted a crowd. Gossip ran like flood waters in this town and everyone would know in an hour if anyone had overheard.
“All the more reason. I’m coming to get you and then you’re going to tell me what happened.”
Harry didn’t have any valid arguments beyond the one he’d already tried so the only thing he could do was sit and wait to see if Louis would actually show up.
It took close to an hour but then there were arms surrounding him and soft murmurs against his ear and that was all it took for Harry to start crying once again. Louis rocked him gently until he had calmed down enough to walk to the relief of the air conditioned SUV where they both crawled up into the backseat. Louis had brought with him several blankets and made a cozy place for Harry to lie down with his head resting on Louis’ thigh.
He rehashed the events of the morning while Louis played with his frizzy curls and listened to every word. When it was finally all out in the open Harry felt exhausted and drained of every drop of energy he’d stored up from the concert.
“He doesn’t deserve you or the baby,” Louis said softly when the tension had dissipated. “You’re working hard and trying to do what’s right for you and the baby and he’s there to block you every step of the way. You need to get out of there.”
Harry nodded sadly against Louis’ thigh. Deep down he already knew that. It was just easier to pretend it wasn’t so bad when he knew he had to live with it.
“Come work for me,” Louis said suddenly and Harry looked up at him with a frown. “I’m not just making something up, I actually have some postings up looking for samplers for some new programs I’ve put together. I already know that you respond really well to what I do so you could be really helpful.”
Harry bit his lip and searched Louis’ face. He wasn’t sure that would be something he’d be good at. He didn’t know anything about it. He’d only been to a professional cafe twice.
“I don’t know—”
“You don’t have to commit to anything. It doesn’t have to be forever. Even just until the baby is born. Then you’d know you had a paycheck and I wouldn’t have to worry about you being on your feet all night and I’d know you and the baby are healthy?”
Harry could see the pleading in Louis’ eyes and he wasn’t sure how to process it. No one had ever been so concerned about him before. There was an ease he felt with Louis that he didn’t feel with anyone else and he was offering to help Harry through the most difficult challenge of his life. If he stayed, he wasn’t sure what he would do. He couldn’t go back to Bobby, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go either. His mom had picked up and moved in with a new boyfriend and his sister had moved away long ago. He was short on options, low on cash and only a few weeks away from his due date.
“Bus call is at ten tonight to head to the next city. I have a bus to myself so there is plenty of room for you. You can even have the bed in the back so you don’t have to climb into one of the bunks.”
He looked hopeful now and Harry was already starting to give in. The temptation of having unlimited access to Louis’ voice was already enough for him to consider it.
“What about after?” he asked softly.
“We’ll figure it out as it comes, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”
“Even with a baby?”
“Especially with a baby,” Louis smiled fondly, “It would be nice to have a baby around to sample some things I’ve been working on.”
“This is a little–” Harry swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat, “Everything is moving really fast right now.”
He closed his eyes and settled back on Louis’ thigh. It felt so nice to be doted on even for a few minutes. He wondered if he would receive the same treatment if he left with Louis and if he even deserved it. Surely it wouldn’t be selfish if it was his baby he was thinking about.
“My mom warned me about trusting strange alphas,” Harry mumbled where his cheek was smooshed in Louis’ lap. He couldn’t help but smile when Louis laughed, a light and playful sound that wiggled its way down to Harry’s core.
“I’m not a strange alpha at all,” Louis joked before his tone turned more serious. “There are so many people on the road with me. The crew, the tour manager, the band– even the bus driver. If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, I would first hope that you’d talk to me about it, but you could go to any one of them at any time. I’ll even give you my sister’s number who would have no problem putting me in my place.”
“Baby likes your voice,” Harry mumbled when he could feel their energy grow the more Louis spoke. The baby had never reacted to Bobby that way, quite the opposite actually. That alone pushed him to take the leap of faith to get him out of this town.
“What about my stuff?” Harry asked after a few minutes. “I can’t go back there yet. I still don’t feel well.”
He’d calmed and could tell he would be fine after some rest and being close to Louis, but his stomach was still in knots and his nerves were on edge.
“I can have security go for you if you make a list of what you need?” Louis offered gently while his fingers went back to combing through his hair.
“Okay,” Harry nodded and nearly burst into tears when Louis started to sing in that soft voice he always craved. He felt settled and for now, that was good enough for him.
———
—————————
———
Hard but little footfalls echoed through the cement tunnel that wound under the seats of the area announcing their presence to anyone in the vicinity. The little boy with blonde hair already had his blue headphones placed over his ears and his backstage pass swinging around his neck.
“Levi! Come back and hold daddy’s hand!” Harry called after him before the little boy got too far away. He stopped and spun around, jumping impatiently while Harry caught up to him.
“You’re too slow,” the little boy pouted and crossed his arms over his chest in an exaggerated show.
“Maybe you’re just too fast,” Harry smirked and continued at the same pace until he’d caught up. Levi was frustrated that his daddy had a few more limitations than he was used to, but that usually faded pretty quick as soon as he was reminded that he’d soon have a new little sister. Harry rubbed his belly with one hand and stretched the other out to take his nearly five year old son’s little hand.
“We’re gonna miss it!” Levi whined and pulled on Harry’s hand.
“No we’re not!” Harry laughed, “Papa was still in the dressing room when we left!”
Levi pouted but accepted his answer and then forgot all about it once the volume and atmosphere of the crowd surrounded them.
It was their nightly ritual together whenever there was a show. They made the journey out to the floor and took up their reserved seats in the middle of the arena as always. Harry had been doing the same thing since before Levi was even born. It was the start of it all, really.
Harry had taken to tour life with surprising ease when he’d first joined Louis on the road. He was healthier and happier than he’d ever been and was shocked to discover the extent of his musical talents. At first he had started sampling Louis’ work, and before long, he was offering suggestions and creating right there with him. It was a dream he’d never had before he was already doing it.
They’d rolled across state lines into California just as Harry had gone into labour with Levi which alleviated so many of Harry’s worries. California was one of the few states that didn’t require by law that the birth alpha be informed and also fortunately a state that allowed Harry to be the sole guardian as an omega. Even before they’d been fortunate enough to have it happen the way it had, Louis had volunteered to sign as Harry’s alpha should the baby be born sooner in a more rigid state. They hadn’t been together yet, but Harry had easily agreed. Louis held his hand in the delivery room and Harry cried when the first thing Louis did was sing when the tiny newborn was placed in his arms.
Now five years later and they were having a baby of their own. It didn’t feel like their first since Levi had been theirs from the moment Harry had joined the tour, but the experience was entirely different. With Louis there to sing to them and their near constant exposure to such rich sounds, Harry had experience close to none of the issues he’d faced with his first pregnancy.
Aside from the ache of his back from the terrible mattress on the bus and the general discomfort that came with his body being stretched, Harry felt amazing. It had been a choice this time– for both of them. They’d made this baby together and it made all the difference.
Harry helped Levi to stand on one of the chairs, not even scolding him for doing so. Tonight was going to be special. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew that Louis had something planned. It was the anniversary of the first time Harry had come to one of his shows.
The lights dimmed and Louis came out on stage. Their little baby was already squirming around in his tummy with the opening notes of the show.
“Five years ago today, I met the love of my life. This is for them.”
Harry couldn’t help it when the happy tears fell down his cheeks. If someone would ask him about the show later, he wouldn’t be able to tell them. He might not remember the details, but he will always remember the feeling.