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I straightened a wrinkle in my dress with my hands that wasn't there just a second, before Cullen took my hand and pulled me to his chest. "You look breathtaking, Elanor." His words were whispered but honest and they did little to calm my galloping heart.
I defeated a false god and probably saved all of Thedas, attended a royal ball to stop the assassination of an Empress and yet I was afraid of facing a crowd of people who came only to see and talk to me. People from all corners of Thedas had come to these festivities of triumphing over the enemy and for me to officially become the Inquisitor.
When my husband- I still wasn't completely used to the term- placed my hand on his arm I took a deep breath and entered the great hall with a broad smile. The applause welcoming me was deafening and when I saw all the faces it seemed for a second as if I would faint right here on the spot. I got the impression as if everybody was here: whether it was royalty, Banns or the common folk. And everyone looked at me.
As the Inquisitor it was my duty to address the visitors, for Cullen was only my companion tonight, and I was the host. Taking another deep breath as he squeezed my hand lightly, I began to repeat the words Josephine had taught me: "My dear guests." The applause stopped the moment I opened my mouth. "I welcome you at Skyhold. I'm glad to see so many known and unknown faces and invite everyone one of you to celebrate the death of a great foe. Feel free to eat and drink as you like, the servants will attend to you at once." As I gestured to the tables the servants appeared. "Enjoy yourselves." The applause rose for a second before the crowd started to walk toward their tables.
As the host and guest of honour my seat was at the long table overlooking the great hall where my advisors and companions were seated, "There it is", Cullen whispered as he put my chair at the right place before taking the seat next to me. "You survived it."
I laughed dryly. "Oh no. The really bad part is just getting started. Now they will watch me, looking for the slightest of mistakes on my part, so they can use them against me." I reached for my glass with the dark red liquid and drank from it. But instead of wine, the taste of grape juice filled my mouth. Only my closest friends knew about my condition yet and the lace of my dress was draped perfectly in (...) strips so my slightly forming belly didn't show. Smiling, I put my drink down and started eating whilst concentrating on my posture and my every move. Because while almost everyone remembered their manners and did not stare, I was still able to feel their eyes resting upon me.
But as soon as everyone had finished eating, my guests started to move around the room, mingling with or avoiding each other and following their example became inevitable. Sighing, I placed my hand on the arm Cullen offered me and started to walk around, too. But the moment I left my table behind, I was swarmed by people who wanted to talk to me. For some it was enough but others, mostly the rulers of some countries, wanted to explore my weaknesses, form some kind of contract or even bribe me, or even all of these things simultaneously. My cheeks started to feel as if they would crack any minute form my forced smile when I saw a welcome face and the smile became genuine.
"Maria. I am so happy to see you", I greeted the stunning woman in the blue dress.
"Elanor!" She hugged me lightly. "Has my brother been treating you well?" She spoke to me as if said brother was not standing right next to me and I wasn't able to suppress the laughter.
"It depends. He doesn't let me out of his eyesight and if it were up to him, he would probably lock me up in a room where I was protected from all harm and couldn't even lift a simple crate." My words were conversationally and though they were probably true, and it was getting on my nerves sometimes, it felt good to know you were loved like that.
Maria scowled for a second at her brother before smiling at me. "He wouldn't do it unless you would bring yourself in harm's way."
I admit, a response like this was not what I had expected, and Cullen chuckled silently. "There you have it, it runs in the family..."
Dumbfounded, I started at them before laughing out loud. "You two are fighting constantly because you are so alike."
Now they were the ones staring at me. "No!" Their responses were almost in unison and I couldn't suppress the laughter of delight given that fact.
"Elanor." At this voice behind me, I froze completely, unable to move a muscle in my body. "What a pleasure to see you."
I took a deep breath and gathered my strength as if facing a strong opponent on the battle field. Having found my composure, I put on a polite smile and faced my father. Behind him were all my siblings and next to him stood my mother whose originally red hair had gone mostly grey.
"Bann Trevelyan. I welcome you and your family to Skyhold." Cullen, who had turned with me, froze, too, when he realized the meaning of my words. Even though what had happened to me was nothing unusual it still hurt to see my family here, trying to reconnect now that I was famous, and Cullen wouldn't be my soulmate if he didn't understand this.
He put his hand on my hip as if to help me stand straight. "Thank you very much for your kindness." He bowed and while my brothers bowed, too, my mother and the girl standing closest to her curtsied. The girl had flaming red heir and seemed like she was about 14 years old. A realisation dawned in my mind as I saw the similarities concerning her age and the boy who was probably about 10 years old. My parents never wanted any more kids, but it seemed I had been replaced. "Excuse me, my Lord, but my wife and I have to talk to our other guests as well." Cullen, who had been silent beside me, had realized that I was unable to speak up and saved me. But at the word 'wife' my father seemed unbelieving at first but saw our closeness and Cullen's hand on my hip. It looked like there was pain in his eyes, but I wasn't so sure because my husband lead me away at once.
"They replaced me. You saw that girl?"
"When she's grown up, she will be just as beautiful as you are now, my dear."
"She can't be a mage, or her abilities would already have shown. I'm going to be sick."
The sudden kiss stopped my racing thoughts. "I love you." Looking into my eyes, Cullen started to talk silently. "You have a family here. You just have to say the word and we will show them the way out." His brown eyes looked black in the dim light but held the same love as always. "My family is your family and all of our friends, too, don't you think so?" He smiled and leaned his forehead against mine. "And soon we will have our own family."
Tears sprung to my eyes and I cursed the emotionality of the pregnancy. "I love you, too." The kiss he gave me now was much hotter than the first and left me breathless within seconds. "You better keep up to this promise."
He only chuckled and gave me another one, before looking me in the eyes. "Are you ready?" I took a deep breath and nodded.
Hours later as I lay in the warm embrace of Cullen's arms I started to think about the youngest of my siblings: I never even knew of them up until now and never will, except if I would extend an olive branch to my family. But did I actually want to reconnect with a family who never thought for a second of me after they gave me away?
Cullen stirred behind me and lifted his head. "What is it, my dear?" Cullen was right: I had a family.
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
He turned me around and looked into my face, studying, before pulling me against his chest and I snuggled up against him. Maybe I would try to connect with them or maybe I wouldn't. But I would not decide it right now when I was lying with the man I loved beyond reason and carried his child.