Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Laxus blinked. Just a few seconds ago he had been with a group of his guildmates entering a dark mage hideout. An emergency mission had come up and Gramps had scraped together a group of them and sent them out. They found the old castle, then there was a flash of light and now... He was in the middle of the ocean. There was a familiar looking, dark-skinned girl trying to get him to climb into her boat and sail away into the sunset.

He had several problems with that. Starting with the fact that he had me clue what the hell was going on. Followed by not knowing who she was. After that came the whole dragon slayer transportation thing. The big thing in his mind though was that her 'boat' looked like a big chunk of driftwood.

"Maui, demigod of the wind and sea-"

"It's Thunder God, and who the fuck is Maui?"

"You are! You just said you were! Now get on the boat!"

"No."

"Don't make me force you!"

"You're welcome to try." Music started playing... somewhere. The chick didn't seem to hear it.

"I- you- ah!"

"I believe what you ment to say was 'thank you'." What? Why the hell would she say that? And why would he say she should?

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome."

"No, no, no, no. I didn't- I wasn't- Why would I ever say-" He chuckled. She was kinda cute when she was flustered like that. He went to gesture for her to settle down and promptly lost his shit. He was naked! There was an odd screeching sound and the music stopped.

"Where the hell are my clothes!" Well not totally naked. He was wearing a fucking leaf skirt!

"Well a thousand years is a long time to be alone. I guess it's messed with your head."

"What!" His chest tingled and he looked back down to see that his tattoo was now alive. Alive, moving, and covering his whole damn body. There was a little version of himself dancing on his skin and pantomiming... Something. 

"You said you've been stuck here for a thousand years..." What? No he hadn't!

"....what else did I say?" Maybe it would help if he knew what all she thought was going on.

"Ah! It doesn't matter! Get on the boat!"

"I don't even know who you are!"

"I am Moana! You will board my boat-" He found himself waving for her to calm down again, and the music came back.

"OK, OK. I see what's happening here." He didn't, but the words were just coming to him so he went with it. "You're face to face with greatness and it's strange. You don't even know what you feel. It's adorable." He sounded weird. Like he was chanting or something. The words kept coming though so he let his mouth keep moving. "It's nice to see that human's never change." Humans? Say what now? He was human. What was he saying?

"Open your eyes, let's begin. Yes it's really me. It's Maui, breath it in." No he fucking wasn't! Whatever. If it kept the chick calm he didn't care who she thought he was. He felt more than saw the little man now living on his skin ask for a fist bump and figured it couldn't hurt to comply. He spun the chick away from him because she was way to close.

"I know it's a lot, the hair, the bod. When you're staring at a demi-god." Wow. He knew he had ego issues, but this was something else. Where was this shit coming from?That's when his body started dancing without his permission and the reality that he was singing slapped him upside the head.

He clapped his hands over his mouth and sat. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't dance, and he never sang when people might hear him. He sure as hell never did both at the same time. The girl just stood there watching as he freaked the fuck out. 

He focussed on his breathing and found his eyes tracing his new living ink. He narrowed his eyes at a scene on his arm of him holding a giant hook. It looked familiar. Mythology of some sort maybe? Freed would know. Maui and Moana. Those names sounded- Oh fuck no!

He remembered now. Azuka. Asuka had had a toy of the girl in front of him. Moana was a fucking kids movie! He was in a movie, apparently cast as a main character who was supposed to dance and sing like a fucking idiot! He couldn't do this! No fucking was was this happening to him.

It was though. The music kept going and getting louder in his head and he could feel his body humming with the need to react to the music. He caught the urge for a long time with the girl staring and waiting. The idea then occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, if he sang the damn song he could go the fuck home. So he let himself get up and let himself sing the song. He felt like vomiting, but he danced too. Very much against his will.