Chapter Text
= = =
“Put this on.”
They were in the elevator when Harvey sprung it on him. Of course he chose to do this seconds before arriving at their new clients’ doorstep and Mike didn’t have much time to ask questions when Harvey forced a small, gold ring into his palm. He looked over at the man standing next to him who was just as confident and focused as ever.
“Oh my finger?” It looked like a wedding band.
Harvey sneered but didn’t look over at Mike. “No, I want you to put it on your elbow. Yes, on your finger. Stop asking questions and do what I say.”
The elevator doors opened and Mike followed Harvey into the hallway. He had pretended to be a family man before, but he’d never faked it for clients, and he didn’t know enough about the case to know how that would be useful. Harvey had plucked him off the sidewalk on his way back from lunch, pushed him into a cab, and spent the entire ride on his phone, offering next to no details. Mike slid the ring onto the appropriate finger regardless. It was definitely a tight fit, but he managed to squeeze it over his knuckle.
“In fact,” Harvey continued as they paced down the hallway, “try to do as little talking as possible. I’ve got this in the bag.”
“Then what am I doing here?”
= = =
“He’s my better half.”
The young couple on the sofa across from them were listening to Harvey’s little fabricated speech intently and Mike didn’t want to interrupt. Once he understood that it wasn’t a joke, it was easy to shut up. He couldn’t even smile. Or frown. He was too embarrassed and lost to react. So he propped his elbows on his knees, making sure the ring was visible, clasped his hands, tightened his lips, and let Harvey do what he did.
“It’s not exactly something we advertise,” Harvey continued, “but I feel comfortable telling you this. We’ve spent the past two years personally struggling with discrimination in our day-to-day lives, so when we want to take a vacation to get away from it all...”
Mike almost laughed at the word ‘vacation’. It was a foreign concept. But at Harvey’s quick, warning glance he forced himself to keep a straight face and remain nothing more than a prop in The Harvey Show.
“The last thing we need to worry about is whether or not we’d have somewhere to stay if the hotel staff find out we’re married. Cases like these send a message to the entire hospitality industry. And when people don’t put up a fight, the message is that nobody cares and nothing needs to change. That’s not good enough for me, and I know it’s not good enough for you.”
Josh and Marco exchanged glances. Harvey was getting warmer.
“Are you really going to sit there and tell me that you’re tired of fighting?” Harvey’s words were tough, but his voice was warm and smooth. “That you’d rather just live under the radar? Settle for being treated like second-class citizens? The way I see it is that you have a responsibility, not only to yourselves, but to the whole community.”
Marco took a breath and grabbed Josh’s hand. “You’re not listening,” he explained to Harvey in polite frustration. “We’re not totally out to our families. They still think we’re roommates,” he confessed reluctantly. “If this whole thing goes public…” He shook his head. “We just can’t. Not now.”
Mike almost grinned because he knew that Harvey had them exactly where he wanted them. He was a master of reverse psychology.
Mike wondered briefly about how two people could live together in a relationship without their families knowing. Did they have two bedrooms? Did they withhold or did they lie? When they had company, did they swap out the Monet for a Maxim calendar? It probably wasn’t important, but he was curious. They definitely could have passed as straight, and given their income a roommate wasn’t out of the question in Manhattan.
Harvey feigned a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “Well, it’s always my opinion that you’ve got to take the bastards to court,” he lied. “A settlement might help in the short term but the publicity is what makes a lasting impact.”
Mike knew this was probably his cue. “Harvey, they’re not interested in the money.” He leaned towards Harvey and lowered his voice, playing along. “They just want to be treated with dignity.”
“I know,” Harvey agreed. “That’s exactly what Marco told me when we spoke last week.”
Josh and Marco exchanged looks. Marco opened his mouth, but Josh cut in:
“How much money?”
Harvey grinned.
= = =
“Don’t give me that face, it wasn’t that bad,” Harvey said as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. “If we can round up a few more beleaguered homos from Trip Advisor, the hotel chain is going to do whatever they can to keep this quiet. You know, these guys are lucky this happened at such a swanky joint and not one of those backwater motels.”
“Right, but—“
“I’ll let you in on a tip: land as many gay clients as you can, especially couples. Money in the bank. They’re less likely to have dependents, they earn more than women on average, and there’s never going to be a shortage of discrimination suits. Not much to show by way of damages but easy to settle.”
“Don’t you think this should go to court?”
Harvey didn’t seem to register what Mike had said at first. He checked his watch. “Why would we do that?”
Mike shrugged and pretended not to care that much. “Everything you were saying was true. About sending a message.”
“I said that because if they thought we wanted to go under the radar, they would feel like we didn’t take their case seriously. Marco was almost willing to let this whole thing get swept under the rug. We need them to feel like we’re on their side. And we are,” he assured. “Which is why we’re not going to court.”
Mike swallowed his arguments because he knew they were useless. Harvey was probably right. Do the job. Make the money.
Finally the black car they had been waiting for pulled up to the curb and Harvey let himself into the back seat.
“You could have mentioned this earlier, by the way.” Mike held up his hand, showing Harvey the ring before he could shut the door. He’d probably surprised him with it just to see him squirm. “I could have used a bit of time to prepare.”
Harvey smirked. “Prepare what? You got an extended lunch break and all you needed to do was sit there and look cute.”
Mike was slowly learning that it was a part of his job description. He really had a lot to do back at the office though and this had only put him behind.
Harvey slammed the door and Mike circled the car to let himself in the other side. The moment he shut the door behind him, the car began rolling slowly back to work in the thick downtown lunch-hour traffic.
“I think we should see other people,” Mike suggested dryly as he settled in, tugging at the ring. But it didn’t budge. He twisted and pulled harder, but his finger only began to swell.
Mike glanced over at Harvey in a moment of discrete panic to see him sitting there with an open, expectant palm.
“Is this a woman’s ring?” Mike wiggled the band below his swollen knuckle.
Harvey shrugged. “You’ve got dainty hands...”
“Of course.” Mike gave up on the ring and let it go. “I guess that makes me the wife in this marriage.”
“There is no wife in a gay marriage, that’s the whole point.” Harvey gave him a tense sideways glance, and closed his hand, turning his focus out the window. “Put some soap on it. And don’t lose it, it’s on loan.”
It occurred to Mike that if Harvey had taken the time to borrow a ring, the idea probably hadn’t come to him as an entertaining impulse. He must have really thought this was necessary. It gave Mike a little more faith in the tactic but it still annoyed him.
= = =
After nearly ten painstaking minutes of lathering his finger with soap in the men’s room, Mike finally coaxed the ring off, leaving a red, swollen knuckle behind. Desperate not to lose it down the sink or anywhere else, he hid it in his fist and went straight to Harvey’s office, relieved that he’d managed to get rid of the thing before being forced to parade it around the office. People noticed these things.
Harvey waved him in when he saw him approach.
“I didn’t have to amputate,” Mike announced, placing the ring on Harvey’s desk with a clink.
“Hang on to it.” Harvey instructed as he continued typing something up at his computer.
“Are you serious?”
“Tomorrow we’re meeting two women from Albany who had a similar experience with a different branch of the same hotel two weeks ago while they were on vacation. And there are more...”
“Really?” Mike circled around behind Harvey to glance at his computer screen. “I can’t believe people still get away with this.”
“They won’t. We can definitely go after them at a corporate level, which is pretty rare these days. This is big. It’s exactly what I thought.”
Mike licked his lips and pointed to the ring sitting on Harvey’s desk. “And you actually expect me to keep pretending that I’m a—“
“Married,” Harvey finished briskly.
“To you,” Mike specified, moving back around the desk opposite Harvey. “Not that I’m not flattered,” he amended quickly. He knew that he would be considered a reflection of Harvey’s taste. And it actually was kind of flattering that Harvey was willing to discretely allow a handful of people to believe that Mike was someone he’d chosen to be with. It was uncomfortable, but complimentary nonetheless.
“You don’t have to do that much,” Harvey assured him casually. “Married, not dating. Don’t get confused.”
Mike squinted and watched Harvey work, trying to pick something – anything – out of his expression to see if he was really serious. It seemed like such a simple, obvious detail to the other man, but Mike wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t have a problem with it.
“You really think that it’s a good idea?” Mike was careful not to suggest that any of Harvey’s ideas were bad. “To lie to our clients? Not just on principal, but it would be really easy to get caught.” Now he had Harvey’s attention. “It’s one thing to lie about your sexual orientation,” presumably, “but marital status is a whole other...” He sighed. “Why get me involved?” Shouldn’t it have been enough for Harvey to tell his clients that he could relate, and leave it at that? It might have even been true.
Harvey tapped at his keyboard a few more times and shut his laptop. “If they think we’re on their side – if their problems are our problems – they’re going to trust our advice and everybody’s going to get paid a whole lot faster. It’s a shortcut. And this is pro bono, so—“
Mike let out a laugh in apprehension of a joke that didn’t come to fruition. Harvey must have had visions of a substantial settlement if he was really choosing to invest in a pro bono discrimination suit. Now Mike understood his urgency. Was Jessica behind this? Mike had a feeling she wasn’t.
“So,” Harvey continued, “we can’t afford not to take shortcuts. They don’t want to trust two straight corporate guys cashing in on the plight of the minority, especially when it comes to something so private.”
“But we are two straight corporate guys cashing in on the plight of the minority,” Mike insisted in frustration, casually letting another of many small lies about himself slip out once more.
Harvey stood and buttoned his jacket. “Speak for yourself.” He exhaled, annoyed.
“You’re not... corporate?” Mike didn’t quite have time to fully process what Harvey said, because the other man was still talking.
“I have a lunch meeting. You have work to do.”
“Um–“ Back up.
“You’ll probably have to stay late so you can tie up some loose ends before you prep for our meeting tomorrow.” Harvey pulled a sheet out of his printer tray and handed it to Mike. “These are the leads I already have. Find every bad review on this hotel chain since they opened last year. Find out who’s gay, and who’s pissed off. If they’re not pissed off... inspire them.” He picked up the ring and handed it to Mike, staring him down until he took it.
“I don’t like lying.” Mike clenched his jaw and stood his ground. He heard Harvey’s point, but it didn’t seem to justify this decision. Something was off.
“It’s an honest case. Just think of the rest as an exaggeration.”
Then he left Mike standing there in his office with the sheet of paper in one hand and the ring in the other.
= = =
Sure enough, just under one month passed before nine couples had their settlements. Harvey and Mike had their cut, and it wasn’t peanuts. Everything had gone smoothly, just as Harvey had promised. Outside of Harvey’s small, dishonest revelations, their sexuality was never called into question and no acting was required. Harvey was a little bit nicer to him than usual, which was remarkably easy to tolerate, but first and foremost they were lawyers. Beyond that, their assumed personal relationship was a private matter that their clients chose to respect. He was relieved that he didn’t have to do any active pretending with Harvey, not really having any exact parameters in place, but he never felt any less guilty for being dishonest.
One more time, Mike wiggled the stubborn band off his sore finger and placed in on Harvey’s desk. “It’s been swell, but the–“
“Swelling’s gone down?”
Mike let himself smile, never intending for Harvey to pick up his obscure movie reference. “Not yet,” he noted. His finger was red and puffy.
“Admit that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.” Harvey leaned back in his chair with an I-told-you-so grin on his face.
No. It hadn’t been bad at all. It had been pretty good, actually. Mike had enjoyed the degree of warmth that had increased between them, but he wasn’t going to admit that. Things hadn’t been any different really, just a bit... nicer. Kinder. It nagged him a little that if it was so easy for Harvey to take a gentler approach, why didn’t he want to be that way all the time? They made a great team, but it sometimes seemed like Harvey almost made an effort to not make anything easier for Mike. What did he have against easy, anyway?
If Mike was honest with himself, he’d miss the friendlier side that Harvey had been showing him when they were around their clients, pretending to be a couple and pretending to disguise it. Once in a while that warmth leaked into the office a little when they were alone, like he was forgetting to be an asshole again. And if he was really honest with himself, he’d miss the encouraging hand that tended to land on his shoulder a little more than usual. That had occurred once for each week of the month, like he was doling out a limited supply of affection. Harvey didn’t really behave all that differently towards him, but his tone had changed. It was calculated, but it felt good anyway. It was the difference between being by Harvey’s side because he was required, and being there because he was wanted.
It was only a feeling, really, which wasn’t worth much in the end.
“We delivered on our promise,” Mike settled diplomatically as he dropped onto Harvey’s couch. “Our clients are happy, so... I’m happy.”
Harvey seemed to be waiting for Mike to say something more, but when he didn’t, he just turned his attention back to his laptop.
“I still think we could have been equally effective without the whole... made up... thing.”
“We won, and you’re still fighting me on this this?” Harvey stared at him and shook his head in amused disbelief. “In the long run we could have made it happen, but the payoff wouldn’t have been worth the time without a fast track.”
That was probably true. Mike had been a little surprised when he learned that Harvey had agreed to take on this case pro bono, which quickly explained why he had done everything possible to wrap it up quickly. How the case had come to Harvey’s attention in the first place, Mike still had no idea.
“It’s not like you’ve never fudged the truth a little before,” Harvey pointed out. “We didn’t give anyone bad legal advice.”
“Yeah. I don’t know, it just kind of seemed like maybe...” The more he talked it out, the more ridiculous it seemed, so he tried to spin it like he was kidding. “I don’t know, like maybe you saw this as an opportunity to mess with me or something. For fun.” It had been his initial reaction, and he had been wondering about it ever since. He twisted his lips into a false, sideways smile and scratched the back of his neck. It definitely sounded stupid once he heard it outside his head.
Harvey didn’t seem to think it was a funny observation. “There are cheaper and faster ways to mess with you. You think this was fun for me?”
Mike cleared his throat. “I don’t know. Yeah?” And so what? Harvey enjoyed his job, didn’t he?
“Was it fun for you?”
“Fun?” Maybe a little, but fun probably wasn’t the word. Mike sighed and dragged the heel of his shoe along the floor. “It wasn’t my idea,” he decided to point out. “I don’t have that much fun when I have to be somewhere without a good reason.” Actually, that’s exactly what he’d enjoyed about it. Being by Harvey’s side, just because. “You didn’t give me much to do.”
Harvey was giving him that look again, like he was waiting for more. Mike didn’t know what he was supposed to say. Did he need to have a better reason for being uncomfortable? He had a feeling that Harvey wanted a bigger reaction regarding the homosexuality angle, but he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of saying a single word on that topic, denial or otherwise. If Harvey wanted to know how he felt about something, he could ask him directly. He wasn’t going to get baited into revealing anything.
“You’re a good sport,” Harvey said. It sounded sarcastic coming from him, but Mike knew it wasn’t. Not everyone would have agreed to go along with something like this, and he certainly wasn’t obligated.
“Whatever, it’s done, so...” Mike shrugged. “Moving on.”
“Not completely done, apparently,” Harvey observed, eyeing his laptop.
Mike felt nervous all the sudden. “Why? What’s wrong?” Had they made some kind of mistake? He couldn’t think of any loose ends that needed to be tied up.
“We just got invited to a victory party. Marco and Joshua are putting it together for all the other plaintiffs...” Harvey raised his eyebrows. “Rented out a nice little bar. Wouldn’t be surprised if they blow their whole settlement on this shindig.”
“Well, that’s a shame. I have a thing that night.”
“I didn’t tell you which night it was.”
Mike laughed. “You’re going? For real?” Harvey was always in high demand and he really couldn’t imagine this being at the top of the list.
Harvey took a few seconds to consider it. “Something tells me these guys know how to throw a party.”
“Give them my best.”
“You can do that in person, at the party.”
Mike shook his head. This was a little beyond his scope of reasoning. “You’re my work boss, not my party boss.”
“Didn’t you read your employment contract? Party boss. It’s on the third page,” Harvey teased.
Mike rolled his eyes. “We got the settlement. This isn’t work anymore. No.” Mike tried to congratulate himself on putting his foot down, but his instincts were telling him to accept the invitation. His instincts were always to say yes to Harvey, and he still wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
Harvey exhaled, but said nothing, turning his attention back to his emails in quiet, simple defeat.
It struck Mike as odd. He had expected Harvey to come out with a reason as to why the both of them going to this party would be some kind of relevant professional investment. It wasn’t billable, so having some tactic seemed a lot more plausible than just wanting to celebrate. Marco and Josh were a very appealing couple though. It was easy to be around them. Mike wondered if he was being stupid in missing the greater scheme, or cold in turning down a friendly invitation. He didn’t not want to go. He just didn’t want to go as Harvey’s husband (which he could barely even sound out in his head without feeling strange). As the circumstances were casual, he didn’t have the same kind of protection that their professionalism allowed them on the case. He would feel exposed. It opened the door to so many more lies.
“Yeah I’ll go,” Mike blurted, defeated by his own curiosity. If there was a chance that Harvey was just trying to be nothing more than affable by accepting and extending the invitation from their clients, it was the right answer. Mike didn’t like that his immediate response to kindness extended from the man was to react with suspicion. That was not good.
“Tomorrow at 8:00. I’ll forward you the address.”
Mike wondered if they should arrive together, but tomorrow was Saturday. They’d arrived to all of their meetings together, but that was because they were always coming from work. They really did work together. They really did not live together. This was exactly the kind of detail that turned him off of continuing with their stupid lie outside of the professional scope.
“Be honest with me, though. For real.” Mike waited for Harvey’s focus to fall entirely on him before continuing. “Are you really not trying to mess with me at all? Because if that was even a part of what this whole lie was for, then consider yourself successful. I feel kind of... messed with.”
Harvey studied Mike’s expression while he considered his answer. “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel that way.”
Mike nodded and pretended to be satisfied with a vague apology rather than an answer.
= = =
Mike arrived at the party before Harvey did. He had been unusually nervous all the way there, but once inside the bar he was immediately put at ease by friendly, grateful faces and a jazz duo offering an understated and vaguely familiar tune. Only two couples were absent from what he could tell, but there were plenty of faces he didn’t recognize, likely friends and family. He returned a few nods and smiles directed at him as he made his way to the bar, unsure of how to acknowledge the bit of awkward, sparse applause offered by a handful of particularly well-hydrated guests. He felt he was amongst friends, but he seemed to be the only one there on his own.
“Mike Ross!” Josh was shaking his hand enthusiastically before Mike even saw him approach. “I’m so glad you could make it! It really means a lot.”
Mike finally felt comfortable with his decision. “I wouldn’t miss it.” He propped an elbow on the bar and tried not to look to desperate to catch the bartender’s attention.
“Where’s Harvey?” Josh adjusted the tie on his fabulously mismatched green and gray suit.
Mike licked his dry lips nervously and looked around for an answer. How the hell am I supposed to know where Harvey is? “He’s always fashionably late,” he offered, casually averting the question. But Harvey was never late, for anything. “Where’s Marco?”
Josh laughed. “Fashionably late.”
“To your own party?” Mike wanted to slap himself for the unintentionally insensitive slip of the tongue. “Sorry—“
“No it’s fine.” Josh waved away Mike’s apology. “He’s not really...” Josh searched for the words then sighed with a smile that was so flawless most people wouldn’t have noticed that it was rehearsed. “Ah, he’ll get here. Drink?”
“Yeah,” Mike breathed, grateful for the diversion. He wasn’t prepared to talk relationships.
“Yeah,” Josh echoed, leaning into the bar.
They finally got the bartender to stop flirting with a woman who was both gay and married, and ordered themselves each a glass of champagne. Mike had only intended to have one or two drinks before saying his goodnights, but after he’d finished a nice chat with Josh, done the obligatory rounds congratulating his (Harvey’s) clients, and finished his second glass of champagne, he promoted himself to rye and ginger. Initially he’d hoped that Harvey would arrive before Marco did, because Josh was the only other person who wasn’t with a person of his own and they were having a good talk. After more than an hour had passed, he began to hope that Harvey wouldn’t arrive, because he was finally getting comfortable. He could be himself.
“I never really got a chance to tell you how grateful we were that you were both so honest with us. About you guys being an item. I can’t believe how lucky we got, really, we won the legal lottery.”
“Oh.” Mike nodded with a smile and discretely checked his phone for messages. Nothing. Someone came in through the front door. Not Harvey. Not Marco, either. Mike and Josh caught each other’s brief, anticipatory glances as the stranger was quickly called over by one of the victorious couples to join them in a drink.
“I mean...” Josh tried to find his place, distracted by the possibility of his partner finally arriving and still failing to do so. “Uh, we never would have made that assumption if you hadn’t told us.”
“I didn’t tell you, Harvey did.” Mike knew he probably sounded a little too guarded, but maybe it was best for Josh to know that this topic wasn’t something he was comfortable with. Josh didn’t seem to mind, but he didn’t seem to know what else to talk about anymore either. He was really making an effort to be a good host, and Mike felt bad for responding so coldly.
Josh checked his watch, and Mike felt worse. There was still no sign of Marco. Mike had completely written Harvey off by then.
“It’s not that I didn’t want you to know,” Mike explained, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “It’s just that Harvey didn’t exactly consult me on whether or not I’d be comfortable with disclosing that particular detail to some people I’d never met before.” His confession had truth in it. “And it’s fine. But like he said, it’s not something we advertise and I guess I’m not totally...”
“I get it. It’s new.” Josh nodded in understanding. “You’ve been together for a couple years, I know that. But you haven’t been married long, have you? Couple months?”
“Why do you say that?” He was a little curious about what they had tricked the outside eye into perceiving. “I mean... how did you know?”
Josh bit his lip, hesitating at first, and waved over the bartender and gestured for some refills. “Because I’ve seen you,” he said in a particularly even tone, watching as his drink was filled. “Around. You know. But not with him.”
“Oh...”
Mike’s stomach sank. His fresh drink splashed a little onto the bar as he hastily lifted it to his lips and drank. This was just perfect. Maybe he and Harvey passed as newlyweds, but it wasn’t because they were obviously just so enamoured with each other, but because Mike had been making his rounds in the West Village pretty regularly while incredibly single and frustrated for a few months that summer. Williamsburg had what he was looking for, but making the trip across town always helped him feel like he could be someone else. So as far as Harvey’s story went, unless Mike was swinging or cheating, this “marriage” had to be very, very new. Josh’s lack of specificity regarding what he’d seen of Mike was very telling.
“But I haven’t seen you,” Mike said quietly, uncomfortably, averting his eyes as casually as he knew how. He really hadn’t seen Josh around, or he would have remembered.
“I guess you wouldn’t have. I was bartending between jobs for a while,” Josh explained. “Noticed that you didn’t usually have to buy your own drinks.”
“Shit,” Mike whispered with a short, dry laugh, the embarrassment at war with the alcohol in his system. He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, but he felt like he’d been caught. Not caught in a lie, but a truth.
Josh laughed and pat him on the back. “Hey, I’m not judging. We trust each other, right?”
Mike nodded and downed the rest of his glass. He didn’t deserve to be trusted.
“Maybe you could, like... not mention that to Harvey.” Mike tried to plead with his eyes without looking too guilty. All he was really guilty of was having a personal life. In reality, it shouldn’t have mattered if Harvey knew anything about that, but he needed some privacy, even if it made him look unfaithful to an outside eye.
“No problem.”
Mike didn’t like letting someone think he’d screw around on Harvey. He wanted to correct him – he wasn’t like that (was he?)– but insisting that he’d been single all summer would shatter the thin lie he’d built with Harvey. And where the hell was he, anyway? It was Harvey’s lie and it was Harvey’s idea to come to the party, and he wasn’t here to deal with it anymore, so Mike took it upon himself to handle things the way he’d seen fit from the beginning. This was officially outside the parameters of work, and here was a really nice guy who was talking about trust...
“Look. Josh. I, um...” Mike pressed his lips together when he saw those kind, curious eyes looking into his. He didn’t want to disturb the shit but Harvey wasn’t there to stop him so fuck it. “You’re happy with the outcome of the settlement, right?”
“Why do you think we’re having a party?” Josh grinned. His smile was fucking perfect. He had a wide mouth like Harvey but Josh was growing in a short, well-groomed beard that he pulled off beautifully.
Mike swallowed. “I gotta be honest with you about something. Harvey would kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but... god, I just feel like such a dick for being dishonest with you.”
“What is it?” Josh inched a little closer, letting Mike lower his voice. He was trying not to let his smile fade and looked as though he was attempting to determine if this was going to be heavy or not.
Mike parted his lips to confess but a hand sliding around his back startled him.
“I’d kill you if you said what?” Harvey’s tone was playful but Mike could hear the dark reality of suspicion running below his tongue.
Josh beamed and extended a hand to shake Harvey’s. “So glad you could join us at last!” He seemed prepared to drop the subject that Mike had yet to broach.
Mike felt the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears in embarrassment as he discretely tried to inch away from Harvey’s touch, but the hand only slid further across his back and hooked around his waist. He was right up against the bar and had nowhere to go. Harvey had touched him casually now and then, but he never grabbed him the way he was now. And that was it. This was off limits. This wasn’t a part of what Mike had agreed to.
Mike turned his head, looked at Harvey, and gave him the only defense he had. “We’re not really married,” he announced, only loud enough for Harvey and Josh to hear. He couldn’t even fathom the consequences of his revelation. Maybe that’s why it came so easily. And they were in public, so Harvey wouldn’t really kill him.
But it wasn’t anger in Harvey’s dark eyes as they quietly studied his face. It was pure and simple disappointment. And somehow, the hand around his waist didn’t slacken. Mike knew then that he’d broken two peoples’ trust and he immediately wished he could take it back. Shit. Shit, no, it wasn’t worth it.
“Um, what do you mean by that exactly?” Josh asked carefully, trying to keep his spirits up.
Harvey turned to look at Josh and answered: “It’s not official yet,” he explained simply. “We’ve been engaged for a while and we had a private ceremony. This is a marriage, but it isn’t legal. Yet,” he emphasized once more. “It will be when the timing’s right. I hope you don’t feel that we’ve misled you in any way...?”
Josh let out a sigh of relief. “Not at all,” he assured them. “I don’t care about that. Have a drink!” Then he turned to the bar and called for more champagne.
Mike suddenly felt lucky that Harvey had walked in when he had, but a little annoyed by how easy it was for him to pull complete bullshit out of thin air.
Harvey tightened his arm around Mike’s waist almost painfully and moved his lips to his ear. “How much have you been drinking? Are you drunk?”
“You’re two hours late and it’s an open bar. Do the math.” Mike couldn’t stand to look at him now so he just kept looking ahead. Not only had he been caught exposing Harvey’s lie, but he’d failed at doing so. And now his eyelids were a little heavy and his inhibitions may have been a little compromised, but he wasn’t drunk. If he was, his heart wouldn’t have been racing so nervously in his chest at the feeling of Harvey’s breath hot and light on his ear and his hand so solid on his body. He supposed they must have looked like a couple to anyone who happened to glance their way, but there was nothing affectionate about the contact. He was in big fucking trouble, and he knew he’d earned it.
Josh handed Harvey and Mike each a flute of champagne and took another for himself.
Harvey raised his glass. “Congratulations on your settlement.”
“Likewise, friend!” Josh touched his glass to Harvey’s and they each drank.
Mike’s fingers tightened around the stem of his glass. He’d had enough. “Washroom?” He asked to nobody in particular, glancing around for a sign.
Josh pointed to the opposite side of the bar and Mike finally managed to slip from Harvey’s grasp as he placed his full glass down on the bar. He just needed a moment to himself. He kept his eyes on the floor, lest he become entangled in a polite conversation with someone he didn’t feel like talking to, until he eventually found a short hallway leading to the door to the men’s room. Actually, the gendered signs on the doors were artfully ambiguous so he picked one at random.
Mike sighed in relief as the door closed behind him, muting the music and conversation he’d escaped. The first thing he noticed was that there was no condom dispenser inside the clean, single-occupant washroom. He found only an arrangement of bamboo and some nice looking toiletries. Mike really didn’t feel classy enough to piss here, but he did anyway. When he was done, he didn’t want to leave. Maybe he should just apologize to Harvey right away and admit his mistake. Because that’s what it had been. He shouldn’t have bothered going to the party at all under false pretenses if he was just going to come clean. He was more than a little annoyed that Harvey had arrived two hours late to the gathering that he’d pressured Mike to attend, but his retaliation was thoughtless.
He took a deep breath and opened the door, reminding himself that Harvey wasn’t going to yell at him in front of all those people, but his breath caught in his throat and he froze up when he saw Harvey leaning against the wall opposite the door to the washroom, arms crossed, jaw tense. The ease he’d displayed in front of Josh was gone. The man was not pleased.
They locked eyes for a moment before Harvey pushed himself off the wall and stepped towards Mike, nodding towards the door. When Mike didn’t move, Harvey grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the washroom, shutting and locking the door quietly behind them.
“What the hell was that?” Harvey seemed more confused than angry.
Mike forced himself to stop grinding his teeth and said: “I’m sorry.” It was desperate, but true.
“Right.” Not good enough.
“I made a mistake. I’m glad you were there to fix it. He believes you. He’s happy.” Mike shrugged. “That’s all I have to say. Let’s just forget it. Please.” He wanted to blame Harvey for being late but it wouldn’t have helped him.
Harvey nodded a little, examining him. The room felt heavy and Mike couldn’t understand why they were still in there.
“All I want to know is why you came here if you weren’t willing to hold up your end.” Harvey’s tone was too even.
“I know, okay?” Mike sighed, having already asked himself the same question. “But you told me to come.”
“I asked you.”
“Not really.”
“You said it yourself: this isn’t work. You didn’t have to be here. So why bother if you can’t handle it?”
“Handle it?” Harvey’s choice of words pissed him off, but maybe he was right. “I didn’t plan to sabotage you. I had a few drinks, I was pissed at you for not being here, Josh was...” Mike swallowed, at a loss for words. “He... brought something up and I felt like a dick. It came out.”
Harvey exhaled and shrugged off whatever it was he was holding onto, then moved to open the door.
“And don’t say I can’t handle it,” Mike tacked on.
Harvey turned back around with a weary grimace playing at the corner of his mouth. “You just proved that you can’t.”
“I think I handled everything pretty well considering what an unfair position you put me in.” Lying about the half-fake secret was a little more complicated for him than Harvey knew. “I came here as a favour to you because for some reason you think I should be here tonight, even though you know I’m against the whole thing, and you totally left me hanging. I know you won’t tell me why you were late, so I won’t ask.”
After a few seconds of impatient consideration, glancing at his reflection in the mirror, Harvey finally nodded. “Sorry about that.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry, you’re sorry, we’re all sorry. Okay? You were right, it was stupid to come here.” He sounded more rushed than sincere.
Mike could live with being right, but he was a little alarmed by how easy Harvey had come to a resolution.
“Let’s just go say goodnight and you can go home.” Harvey sounded exhausted. Regardless of what he’d been up to, clearly things hadn’t gone as planned for him.
“It looked weird, us not showing up together,” Mike pointed out. “We should at least leave together.”
“Yeah, we’ll go now.”
Mike raked his fingernails across his scalp. “I waited for you all night so you could grace us with your presence for two minutes and take off again?”
“My plans changed,” Harvey told him sternly.
“Plans,” Mike mused. “So there’s actually a reason you wanted to come here,” he pressed carefully. “Right? Other than the usual champagne and praise. Don’t I get to know how I factor into your plans?”
Harvey chewed his lip a moment before shaking his head. “Forget about it. Let’s get out of here.”
“Hold on -- what aren’t you telling me?” Now that it was clear that Harvey really was up to something, Mike didn’t know how to back off. When he took a step towards the other man, Harvey only opened the door and walked out. Mike followed close behind.
The tune on the piano changed, slower now. The bass player was taking a break.
“I love this song,” Mike lied quickly, grabbing a fist full of Harvey’s shirtsleeve before he could say goodbye to the one host who had actually attended the gathering.
Harvey stiffened and turned, not wanting to look unnatural. “Really, what’s it called?” he asked, detecting Mike’s game.
Mike ignored the question and tugged harder on Harvey’s sleeve before moving a hand up to his shoulder. The man’s body felt so naked to him without a suit jacket.
“Come on,” Harvey whispered, subtly resisting while trying to cloak his annoyance. He wanted to look cool, but not cold. “Trying to make me look like a bad boyfriend in front of our clients isn’t going to accomplish anything,” Harvey warned, barely veiling a note of curious amusement in his voice.
“We’re married, not dating,” Mike corrected, mocking Harvey’s words when he’d first revealed his plans for the charade. “Anyway, it’s called tasting your own medicine. I’m mad at you. You made me lie. You embarrassed me. So...” Now I get to embarrass you.
“Point taken, but for the record: I never made you do anything.” Harvey sighed. “Seriously, grow up. I’m not doing this...” He glanced at the front door, likely trying to determine the most efficient trajectory for his escape, but he never stepped away.
“Really, you’re not doing this?” Mike pulled Harvey’s reluctant arm around his waist as he spoke. “I thought you could handle it, but maybe I’m wrong.”
Their eyes met and for a moment Mike really expected Harvey to call him out on the spiteful reverse psychology, but instead the arm around his waist pulled him in closer and a warm hand closed around his.
Harvey took the lead, of course, barely stepping at all as he eased them both to the smooth tempo of the music. And even though the man was holding him close, he was testing him with his eyes, pushing him, staring him down like he actually expected Mike to be the one to fold. But why the fuck would anyone not want to be the object of Harvey’s attention? Was that supposed to scare him away somehow?
“Why do you want this to be such a big problem for me,” Mike wondered out loud. He spoke quietly, keeping his face open and neutral so that nothing looked out of place. He had the feeling nobody had bothered to glance in their direction anyway. They were in their own little dark corner.
“Isn’t it?” Harvey tilted his head a little. His thumb moved against Mike’s hand. “It should be.”
Actually, Harvey was probably right. Mike suddenly felt a little lost. There was no real use in either of them trying to scare each other out of character to prove who was a better player at this game. But somehow he wanted to keep pushing back. They hadn’t established any strict parameters to their façade, and a persistently devious part of Mike wanted to punish Harvey for his arrogance and make him feel the way he’d made Mike feel when he threw him into this stupid lie. He was dying to know what Harvey’s breaking point was, as if that would prove Mike was a better liar. There had to be a winner, which was all too motivating. Who would flinch first? And why was it taking so long?
Maybe that didn’t matter. Despite the antagonistic undercurrent to the slow dance, it felt good. Really good. Mike knew he’d have to keep that to himself, and he tried not to wonder if Harvey was doing the same. It was possible.
“What would you do if I kissed you?” Mike asked, because he wanted to know. Surely the man wouldn’t be irresponsible enough to let it happen. Even though Mike was a little dull with drink, he still scared himself asking, although asking was safer than doing.
“You won’t,” Harvey answered confidently against his cheek. But before Mike could prove him wrong, prove how fearless he was, that nothing Harvey threw his way would rattle him, the other man gently let go, stepped back, and said: “That’s enough.”
Mike flushed, aching for one real answer as Harvey moved out of his arms and walked away from yet another question.
= = =
After a brief farewell to Josh and a few others, Mike followed Harvey out the front door, just as a cab pulled up to the curb to drop someone off. Mike was about to claim the soon-to-be-available ride when Harvey stopped in his tracks and turned to Mike, cutting him off.
“I saw it fist,” Mike protested quickly, but he forgot all about the cab the moment Harvey stepped up against him and placed a hand on his cheek.
Maybe he should have acted more surprised when Harvey kissed him. He really was surprised, maybe even shocked, but that feeling was drowned out by the immediate wave of heat, need, and relief. He closed his eyes and grabbed Harvey’s arm, parting his lips to match Harvey’s startling fervour, sucking the man’s tongue into his mouth when he felt the tip against his own. It was almost too much to process and the confusion of it nearly pulled him out of the moment. Mike didn’t know why this was happening when there were no clients outside to prove anything to, and he didn’t care if it was a game or a test or some kind of humiliating punishment or if it was real. It was so much, so fast, and neither of them were making a move for the breaks. He told himself that it probably could have been anyone kissing him now and the gratitude for the contact could have been just the same with any other warm body – he was in that kind of mood – but still, he had let go of the kiss to catch a glimpse of the face he knew so well, just to convince himself that it was really Harvey.
Harvey touched his forehead to Mike’s, a hand resting at the back of his neck with the other still cupping his face.
“Is this for real?” Mike asked breathlessly.
Harvey blinked a couple of times and answered: “No.”
The warm breath on Mike’s lips begged him to press in for another kiss before they had to come back to the real world and – god forbid – talk about it. But this time, Harvey ducked his head and dropped his hand from Mike’s cheek.
“Sorry,” Harvey murmured quietly.
Mike’s eyes caught Harvey’s, trying to decipher whether what he was looking at was shame or regret, when a familiar voice gave him a start.
“You’re leaving?” It was Marco, stepping away from the cab that Mike had been ready to get into. He looked tired, stone-faced, and just as withdrawn as usual.
Mike let go of Harvey’s arm, feeling caught, forgetting for a moment how normal this was supposed to look.
“Afraid so,” Harvey apologized, letting his hand slide away from Mike’s neck and settle on his back. “I didn’t think you could be here.”
“Well, here I am.”
Marco gave an apathetic nod and walked past them without acknowledging Mike at all, which was probably for the best because he was still high on the kiss and couldn’t think straight enough to form an appropriate sentence or two.
When the door of the bar closed behind Marco, Harvey’s arm dropped away from Mike’s back, leaving him cold.
“Cab’s all yours,” Harvey offered, his voice a little rough. He was putting on an air of indifference but Mike knew it was bullshit. It had to be. How could he not feel anything about what he had just done?
“I... don’t want it.” Mike heard himself sound out the words but that was all he could do. He was still frozen, heart racing, the residual warmth of the other man’s hands, tongue, and lips still sinking deeper into his body.
“Great. Have a good weekend.” Harvey moved towards the cab but Mike followed.
Harvey hesitated before turning and placing a hand against Mike’s chest, stopping him in his tracks. “You can’t come with me.”
“I know, I just...” Mike stammered, trying to put what he wanted into words. Something between a short explanation and a long fuck. Couldn’t Harvey just save them both the trouble and read his mind? There was something more going on here that he didn’t understand, but he didn’t care anymore.
Harvey sighed in exasperation, and Mike noticed that someone else had just hopped into the cab, slamming the door behind them.
“I’ll get you another cab,” Harvey said quietly but firmly as the one they’d had their eye on was already driving away.
“You mean before I go back in there and say something that might embarrass you?”
“You’re drunk. You should go home.”
Mike was a dizzy and he was disoriented, but he wasn’t that drunk. He reached out and caught the other man's sleeve as he stepped onto the curb. Harvey just tugged his sleeve free of Mike’s grasp casually, as if he hadn’t even noticed, and put his hand in his pocket, pouring all his focus into the thin, oncoming traffic.
Mike’s blood was boiling. He should have expected this. If he’d been smart he would have pretended that nothing had happened. That’s probably what Harvey wanted, whatever his reasons were for doing what he did. Harvey never did anything for no good reason.
“Yeah, get me a cab,” Mike agreed half-heartedly. “Say goodnight. It’s your call. Not like I ever have a say in anything.” Mike fidgeted lazily with the ring on his finger while Harvey actively ignored him. “I can’t figure out if you’re too stupid to know what you’re doing or too scared to admit that you’re doing it on purpose.” Mike surprised even himself with his words, catching his tongue and looking up to see that he’d earned the briefest glare over Harvey’s shoulder. Another one for the forget-I-said-it file.
Finally a second cab rolled up to the curb, but Mike wasn’t interested in being an easy mess to clean up anymore. None of this was his fault. When he didn’t make a move to get into the car, Harvey grabbed him by the arm and tugged him roughly to the curb, opening the back door and pushing him into the seat. The urgency in the man’s touch surprised him.
“I’m going to do you a favour and not mention this ever again,” Harvey insisted sternly, one arm braced on the door as he stared down at Mike. “You’ll thank me tomorrow. Not literally.”
Mike laughed. He figured that was coming. “Don’t act like you’ve ever done me any favours.”
The look on Harvey’s face was cold and maybe a little stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, and then glanced at the driver before pulling Mike back out onto the sidewalk.
“Really? I don’t know how you can say that, after everything I’ve invested—“
“In an endless source of entertainment. Right?” Mike found his footing.
Harvey didn’t let go. He tightened his grip on Mike’s arms. “What do you want from me. Huh?”
“An explanation,” Mike suggested.
Harvey nodded, his eyes hard. “Okay. You’re a hot little piece and I knew you’d let me do it, so I did it. Alright? It doesn’t mean anything. Don’t be such a child. I should have known you’d take it too seriously.”
Mike bit his lip. Harvey’s words hurt, even if he was right. Mike’s impulse was to hurt him back, put him down, but he was so strong, so close, Mike could feel him, smell his cologne, hear the rustle of their clothes brushing together and it gave him a rush that made him shake, and he couldn’t get any words out.
The cabbie gave the horn a short burst but Mike could barely hear it through the sound of his own pulse rushing through his ears. Harvey’s gaze was so heavy, sinking right into Mike’s brain with no effort at all. When he finally stepped away and broke eye contact, Mike felt something being torn out of him.
Shit, don’t go. I’m sorry. Just kiss me again and I’ll pretend it doesn’t mean a thing.
Harvey shrugged. “It’s just a game.” His confession was empty, his voice flat. “I thought you knew that. But you’re not having fun, so...” He shrugged and swallowed hard. “Do whatever you want. I don’t care. Just warn me first if you decide to file for sexual harassment.”
Mike watched Harvey get in the cab that he’d flagged down and shut the door. In seconds, he was gone.
What the fuck just happened?
Mike let out the shaken breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and tasted salt in the corner of his lips when he parted them to exhale. He quickly wiped his cheeks with his sleeve, humiliated. He sat himself down on the curb and tried to focus. He needed to break things down into manageable, bite-sized facts. He had every right to be upset with himself for going along with methods he didn’t agree with, but telling a relatively harmless lie to make a bit of money a bit faster shouldn’t have wrecked him this much. No wonder Harvey was pissed at him. He needed to stop taking everything so personally and just do the job.
“What’s goin’ on?”
Mike reluctantly glanced up over his shoulder when he realized that the gentle intrusion was directed at him. He groaned inwardly when he saw that it was Josh. He’d already embarrassed himself in front of his clients enough for one night.
“Nothing,” he answered. “Everything. I have no idea.”
Josh took the liberty of seating himself on the curb next to Mike. He had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He quietly offered Mike a smoke, and when he shook his head, he offered him the beer, clearly wanting to help and not knowing how.
Mike laughed softly. “I’m good.”
“You don’t look so good.” It was a friendly enough observation.
“Things are just weird with us right now. Communication problems, I guess.” Mike let out a deep sigh. It all sounded so fucking typical. “Sometimes...” He tried to give himself the opportunity to shut up but didn’t end up taking it. “Sometimes I wonder if I’d walk away if I had somewhere else to go.”
Mike had simply been talking to himself, trying to make sense of why he was feeling so fucked up, so he wasn’t expecting it when the person who happened to be sitting next to him responded.
“I know what you mean,” Josh said.
“Do you actually know what I mean, though?” Mike couldn’t bring himself to look over and have this conversation face to face with this guy who wasn’t even really his friend. “Or are you just being a good listener?”
“I know.”
Mike chewed his lip for a second before he reached over with clumsy fingers and took the beer from Josh’s hand. He took a swig, just to keep his mouth busy. He’d been dangerously close to saying too much all night.
Josh’s now free hand eventually found Mike’s back where it rest there in an act of comfort that didn’t seem to come very naturally. It still felt good and steady.
“Marco still won’t come out to his family.” Josh crushed his cigarette on the pavement between his shoes. “And with the lawsuit and everything, I mean... if not now, then when?”
“Yeah.” Never having been in a serious relationship with a man, Mike had never felt the need to ‘come out’ as anything to anyone. He drank again, trying not to think about his own parents.
“I just don’t think it’s ever going to happen,” Josh continued. “But it’s not just his parents, he’s like that with everyone. I don’t like secrets. I don’t have a clue what’s going through his head most of the time and I can tell myself that I love him and that loving him should be enough, but sometimes I feel like I don’t even know him.”
“Fuck.” Mike couldn’t talk about this anymore. He didn’t have the answers. He closed his eyes as the hand on his back moved up and down. The touch came more easily to both of them now.
“Too much information, I know,” Josh apologised.
“It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine, it was way too familiar.
Josh’s hand was at Mike’s neck now, fingers nudging his hair line.
“That feel better?”
Mike nodded. It did feel better. He didn’t even care whose hand it was on his neck, he was just grateful for the contact. It reminded him what it felt like to have friends and family. Those were roles that Harvey would never fill and he needed to stop allowing himself to believe otherwise. Every time he thought they were warming up to each other, Harvey did something to shut him out. It was never going to happen.
“Better than nothing though, right?” Mike heard himself thinking out loud.
“Come on,” Josh coaxed, massaging Mike’s scalp with his fingertips. “If you didn’t want to settle, you wouldn’t have to. I mean you’ve got a good job. You’re smart. Funny. Hot.”
“Stop,” Mike mumbled, the moment he realized that this wasn’t supposed to be happening.
“Why?” Josh didn’t stop moving his fingers through Mike’s hair.
Mike took a few deep breaths, tipped his head back, and swallowed the rest of the beer. “I could have my license suspended.” That was another lie.
“For what?” He touched his head to Mike’s.
Mike closed his eyes and felt the bottle slip from his fingers onto the ground with a sharp thud. All he had to do was angle his head a few inches to the right, and it was done. After the briefest rush of excitement, the wrong-ness won out over the goodness of the chaste kiss.
Mike pulled away and stood up, trying not to taste his lips. “I’m really sorry, that was a big mistake.”
“My fault, forget about it.”
Mike looked down at Josh and wondered if people would ever stop telling him to forget things.
“So... I guess it’s safe to say that he told you then, huh?”
“What do you mean?” Mike didn’t even know who they were talking about.
“You know, about him and...” Mike must have given away is ignorance because suddenly Josh looked anxious.
“And?”
“And uh... you know, him and... and Marco.”
The ‘him’ must have been Harvey but Mike wasn’t sure he understood what he was hearing.
“Oh fuck.” Josh’s face fell. “Please tell me you know. I thought – isn’t that why you’re so bummed?”
Mike shook his head, trying to piece together some details and coming up blank.
Josh pulled himself to his feet. “But you guys seemed so tense tonight, I thought that’s why. And then with them both showing up late... ”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mike admitted. Was this about something that had happened, or something that was currently happening? And why the fuck did he feel so betrayed? He barely had a sense of what Josh was suggesting and Harvey didn’t belong to him anyway, so why did it matter?
Harvey was keeping something from him. Deliberately. That’s why it mattered.
“Shit, I didn’t say anything, okay?” Josh rubbed his eyes. “And I mean, don’t worry, it’s definitely, definitely in the past. That’s what Marco kept telling me when I kept bugging him to get in touch with his lawyer-ex-boyfriend to help us. He couldn’t believe it when Harvey took us on pro-bono, he didn’t even think he’d return the phone call. So if they were together tonight—“
“Oh.” Well, that explained it. He felt like a complete idiot for not seeing it sooner.
“I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t you think?”
Mike almost laughed at Josh’s genuine terror and remorse for the disclosure and speculation. “It’s really fine, don’t worry about it,” Mike consoled, a little numb. “I kind of thought maybe there was something going on. But it’s probably nothing, like you said. I’m glad you told me.” He wasn’t glad that Harvey had been keeping something from him, but he was glad it might help to explain why he’d been behaving so strangely.
“I have to go back in,” Josh said after a moment of thought.
“Of course.”
Josh pulled Mike into a quick but sturdy hug, pat him on the back, and disappeared into the bar with that well-rehearsed smile back in place.
Mike saw a cab and ignored it, walking west instead. It wasn’t time to go home yet. And although he told himself not to even consider contacting Harvey, his cell phone was in hand by the time he reached the end of the block.
How do you know Marco?
And by the time he hit the corner of the next block, Harvey responded:
The fact that you’re asking tells me you already know.
Mike exhaled. He had the whole weekend to take his mind off things and promised himself not to give Harvey another thought until it became necessary come Monday morning. He took the scenic route to his bar of choice, killing more time than he had, enjoying the fragrant lilacs hanging over the sidewalks in front of brownstones and café patios decorated with string lights. He didn’t know the kinds of people who lived around here, and that’s why he liked it on the west side. The air was humid, but cool – the kind of climate that made skin-on-skin contact almost unbearable, and he needed it bad.
There had been a foolish, selfish thought flickering in the back of his mind over the past few weeks that maybe Harvey was doing this just as an excuse to get a little closer to him. But it wasn’t about Mike at all, and it wasn’t about fast tracking the case. It was all about Marco. What exactly Harvey had been out to prove, Mike still wasn’t sure. The jealousy and rejection biting into him, however unwarranted, felt very real. Harvey had only kissed him at the moment when Marco would see it happen.
Don’t ever use me like that again, Mike started typing into his phone... then gave in to himself and deleted the first two words.
Use me like that again.
Mike didn’t wait for a response. He turned off his phone, rounded one last corner, and jogged up a dark, narrow staircase to the bar that was almost too familiar to return to, but the only way he knew how to wash away Harvey’s touch was with someone else’s.