Chapter Text
David doesn’t think he can bear it. He’s been lying in his bed, under the covers, fully clothed, staring at the ceiling of his mostly dark room through his sunglasses for about 3 hours now. And he still doesn’t feel any better. Not one bit. In fact, he still feels too much. Much too much.
He hears a knock at the door, and knows, just knows, that it’s Patrick. He wills him to go away, because he just cannot. Deal. Right now.
He waits a while, lying still, and hears nothing else. He almost thinks whoever is on the other side (Patrick, it has to be) has gone away, when the knock comes again. This time, it’s followed by, “Hey, just want to make sure you’re not dead in there. Open up.”
Ahh, Stevie. Thank fuck. Stevie is possibly the only person he could tolerate right now.
David drags himself off the bed and shuffles to the door. He undoes the chain lock and opens the door just enough to peer outside and glance at Stevie. The daylight is bright, even with his sunglasses, and he winces a bit at the change.
Trying his best to put on a nonchalant expression, he states, “I am alive. Thanks so much for your friendly concern. Now, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, if you’d kindly just fuck off and leave me alone so my heart can go shrivel up in peace, I’d greatly appreciate it. Warmest regards.” He starts to close the door again, but Stevie shoves her foot in the way so he can’t quite get it closed again.
She stares at him a bit, then replies, “Look, I get it. But are you sure that conversation was going the way you thought? Did he actually say the words? Or even come close?”
David rolls his eyes and growls out, “He didn’t say the words, but just trust me. It was going there. Please don’t make me re-live it more than I already have in the last few hours.”
“I just, I don’t get it. Why would Patrick want to break up with you? It makes absolutely no sense.”
David runs a hand through his hair, a true sign that he is just not together, and sighs. “I don’t know, maybe because I’m a terrible human being incapable of showing much real emotion? I’ve done horrible things, been with horrible people, am difficult and uncompromising and don’t listen and....need I go on? I’m sure anyone has to tire of that eventually.” He bites back a bit of a sob and finishes with a strangled, “Even the best of them.”
Stevie looks at him, eyes wide and face skeptical. “First of all, you know nothing of what you just said is true. Second, I just want you to be sure. You and Patrick, you work. It makes sense. I think you should try...”
David cuts her off by bringing his left hand up to her face, “Please save me all of...that. Just. Let me do this today, and then tomorrow come and drag my ass out of this hell hole and take me to Elmdale for coffee or drinking or...something that has nothing to do with being...here.”
Stevie looks at him a bit, as if searching for something in his face or his posture, and then nods her head, as if deciding something. “Fine. Just don’t...die tonight or something. You know where to find me if you need me.”
“Yes, thank you. You are wonderful,” David replies, relieved that he can wallow but knows who to go to if things get too dark.
Stevie shrugs and gives a little smile. “I know. Later.”
“Bye.”
David shuts the door and turns around, leaning against it. He sighs again and nearly slides himself down it to sit on the floor. At the last moment, he thinks of the disgusting carpet and decides he can make it to his bed to sit instead. He shuffles back over and sits on the edge, resting his head in his hands. He briefly thinks of Stevie and almost starts to cry again, grateful of her concern for him. He doesn’t deserve her friendship.
That morning had started like most had lately, unsuspecting and full of promise. In the past, promise wasn’t really a word David used to use to describe him or his daily life. There were too many people that had let him down, too many times he had let others down, and too many times he had put himself into situations where promise wasn’t a part of the equation to start with. But now. Now. He had Patrick.
David breezed into the store at about 9:30. Patrick wasn’t in the main room when he entered, but the store was all opened up so he figured he was in the back or the storage area. He set his black bag behind the sales counter, and when he turned around, Patrick appeared from the back room with a few items to stock. David noticed he was wearing his navy button up shirt and his tighter cut black denim. They had purchased these items together on a shopping trip to Elmdale and Patrick knew they were David’s favorites.
“Hi.” David said simply, a smile breaking out on his face despite himself. He bit his cheek and pursed his lips together to keep the smile from blinding his whole face.
“Morning,” Patrick replied, before setting the product down and coming over to where David stood. He put his hands on David’s waist and gave him a quick kiss before backing up and turning around. His hands lingered as he backed away. As he walked back to the products so he could begin placing them where they belonged, he asked, “How are you feeling today?” over his shoulder.
David let the smile grow for a second, before replying, “Good. I feel good. How do you feel?”
Patrick waited a few beats before looking up at David with a bit of a smirk. “Good. Feeling a little sore this morning. I have this new exercise routine. It’s really, uhh, stretching me, you know, physically.”
David leaned his elbows against the counter and rested his chin on one hand, smirking back at Patrick. “Oh really? What does this new exercise routine entail?”
“Well, it’s at night, for one. Really odd. And my trainer really just, likes to go on and on and on. Multiple, umm, sets. He has so much stamina. Hard for me to keep up, sometimes.”
“Wait, I’m sorry, in this ridiculous scenario we’re cooking up, I’m you’re trainer? Are you trying to make this as unsexy as possible for me, or…?”
“Well David, I’m sorry, because if I don’t talk about it like this, I’m going to want to just haul you into the back and...” Patrick huffed and stopped himself, turning away and breaking eye contact with David.
David couldn’t believe Patrick was that flustered. Usually, Patrick was the one in control, leading their give and take, and David felt like he was trying to catch up to match or one-up him. But at that moment, David heard the edge in his voice and knew the line of conversation couldn’t continue, at least where he wanted it to. He hoped Patrick’s reaction didn’t have to do with how things ended last night. That was a detail he was already trying to push far away, with all the rest of his bigger, more complicated emotions. He chose a placating response, giving Patrick the chance for a bit of space should he want to take it. “I can tend to have that effect on people. Perhaps I should go get you a tea?”
Patrick busied himself with the products and kept his head down while he replied, “No, no, just stay here. I’ll make my way through the day somehow. I have every day since we started working together, after all.”
Nervous about the discussion going towards places David didn’t want to visit, he decided to try to bring things back to their usual playful and teasing banter. He sauntered over to Patrick slowly, smirking despite himself. “I love how you can’t just talk about us fucking because it turns you on too much.” He poked Patrick in the shoulder a few times.
Before David could get too close, Patrick looked up and put his hands on David’s shoulders, holding him a bit at arm’s length. “I love you. And you are driving me crazy, in the best way possible. But we’re at work. So I don’t really want to get into a recap of last night’s activities when at any moment, an actual paying customer could walk in and see me here with you and with a...a situation.”
“A...situation? What kind of a situation?!?” David asked, half horrified, half amused.
“Let’s not go there. In all seriousness, though, last night was amazing, so thank you, David.”
He leaned forward and kissed David slowly, gently, still holding him at about arm’s length. David tried to deepen the kiss and step closer. In response, Patrick squeezed David’s shoulders and broke the kiss, stepping away. He walked to the cash and grabbed a spray bottle from behind the counter. “Could you make sure the new sweaters are still folded properly? I’m going to go outside and check on the produce. Can’t be too careful in this heat.” He walked towards the front of the store and outside without waiting for a reply from David.
That was the first moment when David felt like something was wrong.