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Reminding Me of Who I Killed

Summary:

Maybe the day had gotten to him more than he’d thought. It was impossible, but…

For a second, he thought he’d seen Izuna.
_____
In which Tobirama has a series of increasingly bad days, Madara might not hate him as much as he thinks, and Izuna is slightly less dead than he should be.

Notes:

This fic's pre-written, so updates should be pretty regular. I'm planning a sequel, eventually, but that one might not be as consistent.
Story title is from Twenty One Pilots' Car Radio, and chapter title is from The Sound Of Silence, which is by Simon and Garfunkel but I listen to the Disturbed cover.

Chapter 1: A Vision, Softly Creeping

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It’s the anniversary of Izuna’s death, today.

It’s just like any other day, really. The building is still busy. There’s still piles of work to do. The only noticeable difference is that Madara took the day off.

Even that’s only remarkable because they’re still in the process of building the village. Despite his personal distaste for the man, Tobirama can admit that Madara is important to said process. It’s his and Hashirama’s dream, and their alliance is what the village was centered around. One optimistic fool (even if he is insanely powerful) is not enough to convince anyone of a revolutionary idea.

But an optimistic fool who managed to win over a rival clan? Especially one widely regarded as their clan’s greatest enemy ?

And the clans follow the clan heads. So, Madara is important.

Today there was actually some work that required him specifically. Signatures, mostly, since neither Hashirama or Madara are particularly gifted at the politics of building a village. ( But that’s why Mito and Tobirama were there. )

Any other day, when Madara is skipping work to do something else (like training, or getting food, or talking to his clanmates, or pestering Hashirama…), Tobirama would just pop in ( depending on how annoyed he was, he’d use hiraishin ) and dump the paperwork in front of him.

But today isn’t any other day.

And Tobirama can’t quite bring himself to intrude. Especially being who he is.

The papers can… wait until tomorrow. Or maybe he’ll give them to Hashirama, to give to Madara.

Actually, no. He can’t trust Hashirama with any official documents. He’ll just wait.

( He’ll never admit it, but the thought of appearing before Madara, on the day he killed Izuna, fills him with anxiety. Madara is always angry, but having the full force of his hatred directed solely at him—

Well.

Suffice to say, it’s not something he wants to experience anytime soon. )

__________

After a long day of pointedly not thinking of Madara or Izuna, Tobirama heads home.

As he walks, he takes stock of the village. The new buildings are coming along nicely. It’d been a challenge to convince his brother that no, you can’t just grow all of them, you don’t know anything about architecture, and besides your sense of style is atrocious . While it would be faster, doing it manually has more advantages; personalization, professional quality, the creation of jobs…

Speaking of Hashirama. Tobirama extends his senses. His brother is… with Madara. Of course.

He sighs.

At least Mito is there with them, a beacon of steady calm next to the two powerhouses. She’ll make sure they didn’t break anything too important, at least.

Touka is in the Senju district. Judging by how her chakra signature is acting, she’s training.

As he reaches the end of his very short list of check-ins, Tobirama realises he doesn’t have any friends outside of his immediate family.

Hm.

Well, as long as it doesn’t affect his work, it doesn’t really matter.

After a short stop in the market to restock some of his tea (he was running low) he arrives home. Ever since Hashirama and Mito had gotten married, he’d lived in a separate house. It’s nearby, so his brother can still come bother him whenever he wants, but it’s… quiet.

He is very grateful he doesn’t have to listen to them copulate anymore, but sometimes he wishes…

But it doesn’t matter. These are his circumstances, and he has to accept them.

He shuts the door behind him, and activates his wards. Then he heads towards the kitchen to put his tea away.

He passes the living room, then stops. Abruptly, he turns back to face the room, his heart pounding.

But there’s no one there.

He didn’t sense anything. But, all the same, he sets his tea on the ground and carefully walks into the room. Sure enough, there’s nothing. No sign of anyone having been there. Not even chakra residue.

He goes back to his tea, still slightly on edge. Maybe the day had gotten to him more than he’d thought. It was impossible, but…

For a second, he thought he’d seen Izuna.

Notes:

Next Time:

He stares at the steaming cup in his hands, contemplating the dream that had awoken him. He doesn’t remember much; most of it had slipped away, like sand through his fingers.

Mostly he remembers the fear and the guilt.

That doesn’t really give him much to go on, really.