Work Text:
Tony Stark was not a helicopter parent.
This was a fact that Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy refused to believe, yet was obviously true. Being a helicopter parent meant being a parental figure in the first place, and Tony Stark would be the first to tell you that he was anything but father material.
Good parents had to help kids learn to express their emotions and make positive decisions. Parents had to be able to give thoughtful advice and calming reassurances. When their children felt broken, it was a parents job to tell them they were amazing.
( It didn’t work if the parent was broken themselves. )
((( Tony Stark was not a helicopter parent. )))
Parents have to teach patience, and perseverance, and love, and responsibility. Being a parent means explaining how to be the best one can be.
And sure, Tony may have spent several million dollars developing safety features on Peter’s suit. He may have already bragged about Peter’s genius to the members of the MIT admissions board, and he may have invested thousands of dollars into new science equipment for the kid’s High School. Yes, he might have FRIDAY alert him any time Peter reaches a certain heart rate, and he may or may not have a live feed of the kid’s suit running in the workshop at all times.
Anybody would do those things, though. There were so many things that parents needed to do that Tony Stark just didn’t.
Parents needed to be good at baking, and Tony Stark could not bake. Despite the mathematical logic behind measuring cups of flour and tablespoons of sugar, Tony’s lone attempt at baking left him with soggy chocolate cookies and a kitchen covered in cracked eggs and wet batter. Rhodey took one bite of the cookies and made a face so bitter, Pepper wouldn’t stop laughing for days.
After the infamous cookie fiasco, Tony refused to even go near a baking recipe - which is exactly why Aunt May made brownies and cake pops for Peter’s bake sale instead of Tony.
Parents also had to be active in their child’s school life. Sure, Tony had been to Peter’s student teacher conferences once or twice. But so had May, Peter’s actual parental figure. Between the two of them, May and Tony had managed to tag team their conferences in a record twenty three minutes, before collecting Peter and going out to dinner and ice cream together.
And yeah, May had called him once or twice when Peter had asked for her help on complicated physics homework. But when Peter was over at the workshop on Friday’s, complaining about his twelve page history essay, it was Tony who called May for help.
So maybe Tony wasn’t a complete piece of trash. But May was the real parent here.
Parents were supposed to chaperone their kids on field trips. Only a legal guardian could attend school trips, however, so that left May with the responsibility. Tony had instead provided the funds for the field trip. Peter’s decathlon team was able to visit Damage Control Headquarters, and get a behind the scenes look at the Avengers Compound all in the same day.
Rhodey rolled his eyes at Tony’s excuses for that one.
(( Even though it was quite obvious that Tony Stark was not chaperoning and therefore not a parent, helicopter or otherwise. ))
Peter’s bedroom in the compound had been fully transformed into a second room, practically straight out of an IKEA magazine. Tony and the kid had worked together over an entire weekend redecorating the room, and May had even come over after one of her shifts to help paint the walls Spider-Man blue.
And fine, it was true that Tony had FRIDAY alert him any time Peter woke up in a cold sweat, screaming into the darkness of that very same bedroom. He would sit on the couch with Peter, watching reruns of that cartoon Star Wars show he loved so much. On particularly bad nights, he would drag himself to the workshop on two hours of sleep, distracting the kid with small jobs and comfortable dialogue.
Pepper tried convincing Tony that it was a total Dad move to cook dinner, play board games, and do Peter’s laundry whenever the kid was at the compound. Tony in turn explained to Pepper that May did all of those things every other day of the week, and obviously, she was the legal guardian.
When FRIDAY informed the residents of the Compound that Peter had given Tony an Iron Man POP figure, an arc reactor tie, and an actual Father's day card, the Avengers assumed Stark would finally accept the truth.
Instead, he showed them a cell phone picture of the Mother’s Day card Peter had made at the Compound for May a few months ago, shrugged, and walked away.
And if Tony may or may not have cried when he watched the recording of Peter’s school speech competition, the Avengers didn’t need to know about that either. (May had sent it to him directly after the presentation and Tony had watched it dozens of times. It was about the kid’s personal hero.)
( It was about him. )
Parents were supposed to play catch with their kids in the park. To be fair, neither May nor Tony did that - mostly because Peter’s spider sense made him a bit too good at sports. Three broken frisbees, and one black eye later, the three had collectively decided to never try that again.
Parents were supposed to throw huge birthday parties for their kids! It wasn’t Tony’s fault the kid refused to tell him his birthday - for fear of Tony giving him way too many presents. When Tony posited that this meant Peter would have to get a present every single day, the kid immediately relented.
Peter’s celebration took place outside, in the middle of Central Park. Despite the raging humidity and summer heat, Tony would never forget the glistening smile on the kid’s face.
And when Peter got sick with the flu, it was Tony that took over for May when she had to go to work, rubbing comforting circles on the kid’s back and force feeding him soup and crackers.
When Peter was stuck in the Compound healing from a bullet wound, May called Tony, almost in tears, and the two got coffee and ranted about Peter’s reckless bravery together.
When the principal called May in due to bullying reports, May called Tony as well, and the two stalked into the school office with identical glares of death in their eyes.
When Pepper, Rhodey, and even May called an intervention, Tony finally realized the truth.
Tony Stark was not a helicopter parent. Tony Stark was a helicopter co-parent. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.