Chapter Text
Jungkook was pretty sure that he was born feeling ignored.
He knew it was no one else’s fault in particular; the other members were just more comfortable seeking out attention than he was. As an Omega, Jungkook was expected to be an attention magnet - the other Omega’s in their group, Jimin and Taehyung, certainly were.
Maybe that’s why Jungkook always came up short. As the youngest, Jungkook hadn’t been able to join the pack the BTS members had created due to being as young as he was when he debuted. BTS became an official pack six months after they debuted, and Jimin, the second youngest, had only had to wait a month or so after that to join when he presented. For Jungkook, it took five years. Most people present as either Alpha, Beta, or Omega, when they turn sixteen. Jimin was a late bloomer and didn’t present until seventeen, but the pack had already known that he would be joining the second he presented.
For Jungkook, it was different. Most of the group, the hyung line in particular, thought of Jungkook as a younger brother; not a future pack partner. This presented several problems. But Jungkook had reasoned that it was just because he was fourteen when he met most of them for the first time, and fifteen when they debuted. So of course they wouldn’t think of him in that way.
But Jungkook had thought it would change. It certainly had changed for Jimin - he started off in the same position as Jungkook, but even before he had presented, the members would let him sleep in the nest and give him cuddles without him asking. But again, for Jungkook, it was different.
Jungkook grew up feeling ignored. His parents, who were both Alphas, were frequently gone on business trips either alone or with their pack, leaving Jungkook alone with a distant nanny. Growing up he didn’t have many friends, and by the time he joined the company, most trainees had already presented, and in turn had grouped off with fellow members of their own assignation.
That was common. Betas hanging out with betas, alphas with alphas, etc. But Jungkook didn’t have the comfort of being presented yet to help him make friends. So he thought that surely, when he was placed into BTS and promised to debut, that there was a possibility that the six other members he had come to love would form a pack, and that they would want him to be a part of it.
Right?
He was right on the first part, wrong on the second. The others did form a pack - it started with Seokjin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Taehyung. Jimin joined soon after. But as Jungkooks sixteenth, seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, and twentieth birthdays rolled around and he was still unpresented, talk of him joining the pack had died down from what little it had been to begin with.
Jungkook had caved in and accepted that he just must be part of the 0.01% of the population born without a status. Doctors and specialists couldn’t give him any answers, and test after test came back normal, all indicating there was nothing physically wrong with him.
It wasn’t like the other members didn’t want Jungkook to join the pack, Jungkook knew that they must. Even if they’d never said it directly. Any time the topic had come up, it had always ended with a, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there” conclusion. No one ever assured Jungkook that he would be able to join the pack officially some day.
All Jungkook wanted was to join the pack. He looked up to and loved each of his hyungs so much. He desperately wanted to be a part of pack cuddle piles and to sleep in the nest with them.
When he turned sixteen, he was sure that any day now, he would present and could join the pack and put an end to feeling so left out all the time. But his birthday had past and he ended up going to sleep feeling hopeless. Most of the time Jungkook could put aside his resentment towards the universe in favor of being thankful that he was able to spend time with such amazing people, even if he couldn’t make it any more than that.
He would push down the ache in his chest whenever he would walk into the living room of their dorm and see Taehyung and Jimin cuddling on the couch, Taehyung running his hands through Jimin's hair and humming to him softly, or Namjoon and Seokjin cooking together in the kitchen and Seokjin growing increasingly agitated at Namjoons lack of culinary expertise.
Jungkook would try not to be hurt when he would come home after curfew and no one would be waiting up for him. He wound wander down the hall and see that the packs bedroom door was closed, everyone else already sleeping comfortably inside. Jungkook would enter his own bedroom and flop down on the bed, wondering if the others had even realized he was still gone.
He would try to stifle his hurt when he would see Jimin receiving all of the “maknae” attention. Which made sense as Jimin was basically considered the pack maknae, but Jungkook was the maknae of BTS, so that had to count for something didn’t it?
It didn’t, most of the time. Jungkook would watch with his heart on his sleeve as Jimin would be fussed over for pushing himself too hard at dance practice, or dieting too strictly, or working himself too thin in vocal practice. He would watch as Namjoon and Seokjin would stay up until Jimin came stumbling in the door from a late night spent in the practice rooms, and hear them lecture him about missing curfew. Jimin would always huff and try to explain his way out of it, annoyed that his hyungs cared so much about him being an hour late.
Jungkook wished he could say the same.
It wasn’t like Jungkook didn’t receive attention or praise from his hyungs, of course he did. He’d do exceptionally well at learning a dance, and would earn a beaming smile from Hoseok and a firm pat on the back from Namjoon. He would write a part of a song and shyly present it to Yoongi to get his opinion in the form of a tiny lift of his lip and a silent nod of approval.
Jungkook lived for those moments. But they were few and far between, whereas for the members of the pack, they were nearly constant. Jimin would always be praised for doing well, Taehyung would earn full on smiles from Yoongi when he showed him his writing, and Seokjin would always make sure that Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi had something to eat when they stayed out late in their respective studios.
It was just different when it came to pack.
Jungkook was the outsider. Always looking in, longing to belong. He understood why he was treated differently, and he tried desperately to not take it personally. But all he wanted was to be able to call his hyungs his home, to feel as though he belonged.