Chapter Text
To hear the words “after birth” out of Yagen’s mouth drowned Kogitsunemaru in an ocean of dread. After watching Mikazuki agonize and scream for hours on end already, the last thing he wanted was to just sit around and watch him go through anymore. Thankfully, this part of the process took no more than ten minutes. And as Mikazuki could even say in the midst of this, delivering a simple mass of tissue was nothing even as close to as arduous as delivering a child. So after a few more moments of holding Mikazuki in his arms, the ordeal was finally over.
They finally had their baby, safe and snug against Mikazuki’s chest, swaddled in a blanket as white as snow.
Kogitsunemaru was soon replaced by pillows and linens as Mikazuki’s backrest. From this moment forward he extended himself at Mikazuki’s side, allowing him to look over to his stunning lover who sank deep into the pillows behind him. The futon and the blanket’s comfort cradled his delicate form as he held the even more fragile newborn in his arms. The habitual quiet of their room alongside Mikazuki’s relaxed muscles created a tepid and soft air around them, mostly due to the sensitivity of the new life now sharing the air they breathed.
Kogitsunemaru found himself at a loss of words, leaving him to do nothing more than just overlook Mikazuki and the baby they now called Nichibotsune. Resting on his side and holding his own head in his hand, he took his other and slowly caressed Mikazuki’s arm with the other, making that his way of continuing his expressions of love and adoration without making a potentially disturbing noise.
Feeling the warm touch upon him, Mikazuki slightly rolled his head to the side, revealing a soft blue and gold glow beneath heavy eyelids. His cheeks still held the faintest shade of rouge, a lasting imprint of the strain he endured mere minutes before now. But nothing stopped a powdery smile from touching his lips.
“I never thought I would see a day where you bore tears in your eyes.”
When he spoke it barely made an echo, but Kogitsunemaru heard his words clear as day. For some reason, when Mikazuki pointed it out, it was practically impossible for him to keep the tear from streaming down his face. Just as fast as it came, he wiped it away with the heel of his palm, lightening his emotion with a pathetic laugh and an apology.
Mikazuki did not hold it against him. Why would he anyway? It made Mikazuki glad to know Kogitsunemaru was happy.
“You should hold him.”
At Mikazuki’s innocent suggestion, Kogitsunemaru looked at the small babe in his arms and his heart started thrusting out of his chest.
“Oh Mikazuki, I… I don’t know-”
“But you are his father, you should. I promise you won’t hurt him.”
Although the statement was in jest, Kogitsunemaru’s nervous stare told Mikazuki that he was anything but. Little did Mikazuki anticipate his beloved Tachi to be so afraid of a baby.
“He’s a part of you, don’t you think? You could never do anything to hurt him.”
Before he could utter any sort of protest, Mikazuki was already straining to place Nichibotsune in Kogitsunemaru’s arms. The slight wince from him made Kogi sit up instantly, taking Nichibotsune so Mikazuki wouldn’t strain himself any longer.
In the blink of an eye, there he was leaning against the pillows with a baby in his arms. And the first thought that came into his mind was a disbelief at how small the little boy really was.
He was so small. The little nothing squirmed as he left the grasp of the one person who bore him for so long. His tiny, fidgety limbs made Kogi fear holding him any closer to his breast. He barely reached the size of his forearm, so it felt as though any movement or touch could snap him in half. What else could Kogitsunemaru do but remain as still as possible as an effort to protect him?
“See?” Mikazuki hummed with the haze continuing to glaze over his exhausted eyes. “A part of you…”
The moment dragged a smile to Kogitsunemaru’s lips, but as the child started squirming again he felt his muscles tense up even more. In no time the baby started crying, then full out wailing. It seemed much too loud of a sound to come out of such a small being.
And Kogitsunemaru’s panic grew just as fast as the cry did. He looked towards Mikazuki as if he knew better than he on what to do.
“I don’t think he likes me,” Kogitsunemaru muttered with a shake of fear. But Mikazuki remained as calm as ever.
“Try talking to him,” he said, shrugging back into the fluffy cushions. “He knows your voice.”
“My voice?”
The question was as innocent as it sounded, and it made Mikazuki laugh.
“He’s been listening to you ever since he could start hearing. Every time you talked to me he’s been listening. He knows you. He may not recognize the feel of your arms, but he should recognize the voice he’s been hearing all of this time.”
Kogitsunemaru looked back towards the crying baby in his arms. He has been there the whole time, hasn’t he? It felt a little surreal. All of it did. With lack of comprehension all he could do was take Mikazuki’s advice. Maybe talking to him would help.
But… What should he say to him? This, this was the first time he would talk to his boy face to face. They always say first impressions are important, and if he didn’t nail it this time, how could that affect the future?
Well, there was no time like the present.
“Hey Nichibotsune,” Kogitsunemaru said with a sincere whisper, almost so quiet his voice died beneath the cries. “It’s me.”
The baby didn’t stop. The little thing’s eyes were shut tight, and his squeals rattled the wood in the walls. But Mikazuki didn’t say anything, telling him he wasn’t wrong and further assuring him that this was his moment.
“It’s me, Nichibotsune. It’s me, Papa.”
With three small words, Kogitsunemaru was taken to a different realm. The cries may not have stopped, but in one second the surreal became a bit more real. His world of anticipation and imagination was turned to reality at the realization that not only did he have a son, he was a father. He was Papa. And from there he instinctively moved his arms up and down in the slightest motion, hoping to calm the baby. He couldn’t remember anything he said after that, but he murmured nothing more than just sweet words of comfort to Nichibotsune and in a few moments time the quiet swelled back, and Nichibotsune was calmed, and it seemed like he was actually listening to Kogitsune’s words.
“See?” Mikazuki hummed quieter than ever. “Everything is alright.”
And with what he took as a squeak of pleasure, Kogitsunemaru felt his chest fill with a warm pride. The cries have ceased and all the child was left to do was grip his fists towards anything that came his way.
A few minutes old and already so curious about the world around him. Kogitsunemaru almost laughed.
To humor the little boy, he reached his finger over to his small palms and soon the little fingers managed to grasp his finger, and Kogitsune felt such a blissful happiness run through his veins.
The first time he held his son’s hand.
“Mikazuki, look-”
Kogitsunemaru stopped, for as he looked over to where his lover lay, he found him sound asleep in the cushions behind him. It was understandable. After all, all of that stress and strain certainly would take a lot out of anybody, especially someone who already had a tendency to tire quickly. So he let him sleep. He would have to wake soon to feed Nichibotsune anyway, so he might as well catch up on some sleep now.
Kogitsunemaru leaned back now into whatever pillows Mikazuki didn’t use behind him, still relishing in the contact he had with the smaller kitsune in his arms.
“I’m happy you are with us,” Kogitsunemaru whispered again. “And I want you to know from here on in I am going to do all I can to protect you. I mean, us foxes have to look after one another, right?”
The little kit just sat in Kogi’s arms without a reaction, never removing his fragile grip.
“Goodness, you really are going to have me wrapped around your little finger, aren’t you?”
Now that got a small squeak out of him.
That brought one thing to Kogitsunemaru’s mind in which he realized he will never quite understand. As he looked at the little nothing resting in his arms, holding close to him and putting every ounce of trust he had into him, he realized there will never be a day where he would comprehend how much he already loved this little Nichibotsune. They shared nothing more than a few mumbled words and some voiceless whispers and the touch of a finger, but Kogitsunemaru already knew he would give his life in an instant for this spirit right here.
And from then on he knew that no matter what, that was never, ever going to change.