Chapter Text
“mic you are getting fat” said the black haired man to his cute boyfriend as they laid in bed.
mic cried “why are you so mean to me?” fat, wet tears ran down his face. why was he always attracted to bad boys?
“because i love you” said eraserhead with a kiss
“that’s gay” said all might who was also there because they are in an open poly relationship <3 also they have a cat named k$sha. the bed isn’t big enough though so all might sleeps on the floor. sometimes during the night mic gets up to pee and steps on him :(
“we need to go to school,” said eraserhead
“but we already graduated,” said mic
“we’re teachers” said eraserhead
“meow” meowed k$sha
eraserhead and all might got up and got dressed for school. mic stayed in bed because he was too meloncholy to go to work.
“aren’t you coming?” asked all might as eraserhead climbed on his back.
“no, i’m too melancholy” said mic as he grabbed a bowl from the nightstand.
“i swear to god, mic, if you add milk before the cereal i’ll divorce you.”
“we’re not married” said mic as he poured the flaming hot cheetos into the bowl. “also i am lack toes intolerant.” he said as added milk to the bowl as well.
eraserhead and all might flew to class using all might’s quark.
“i embrace death” mic whispered to himself as he ate the mushy mixture alone in the dark.
eraserhead was the first person to arrive at class 1a. so he took a nap, even though he literally just woke up like five minutes ago.
slowly the class began to arrive.
“hewwo, ewaserheado :3” greated denki when he arrived right behind momomo-mo mo-momo.
“shut up, you pickachoo!” yelled bakugo and threw his desk at deku who was just sitting idly by and in no way deserved it.
“OwO” went denki
tensei IIda stood on his desk and yelled “everyone! please silence yourselves! it is time we honor our lord creator by becoming educated!”
eraserhead sighed. it was going to be another long day. he took attendance and discovered there were 21 students in the class. but there could only be 20 students. how was this possible? a new student must have snuck in.
“nobody panic, but we have a spy in the class. class is cancelled until we discover who the traitor is and expelle them.” eraserhead said calmly as he scanned the room with his rainbow eyes.
“hmmm, I don’t care about any of you enough to know which one is fake.” explained eraserhead. he never learned any of his students names even though it was almost near the end of the school year.
unlike eraserhead, the students were all really good friends. they would know who the spy is!
“ok class, we are going to vote on which student to kick out. everyone raise your hand to vote” explained the teacher.
everyone voted.
in the end all 20 votes were for mineta (the invisible girl didn’t get a vote because her hand is invisible)
“wait! this isn’t fair!” screamed the stupid grape boy that everyone hates, “i am in this class!” he cried
“yeah but I hate you anyway, so i’ll allow it” said eraserhead as he grabed the grape boy with his scarf.
“oh oh” moaned mineta his face beginning to blush
“wtf” said the class D:
eraserhead pulled the scarf tighter around the little boy, trying to restrain him
“ohhh yeeeaaah”
“shut up” eraserhead yelled
the purple boy groaned in response, a pink blush spreading across his face
the entire class began yelling insults at the boy. they told him he was stupid, and ugly, and a total jerk.
the insults did not have any effect. in fact, he only smiled more. the humiliation and insults were making him horny
“oh yeah, more, more, harder, harder” he groaned and squirmed a bit
“teacher-sensei!” yelled kirishima “we have to kill him! insults and punishments are only making him stronger!”
“yes! i’ll kill him!” yelled bakugo and ran to the front of the class screaming
“yes! hit me! hit me hard!” mineta yelled
“die!” bakugo yelled back
“im scawed” cried denki and buried his face into sero
bakugo took all of his sweat and poured it onto mineta. the boy was all wet and stinky and bakugo lit the gross purple ball on fire
“ahhhhahhhAAAhhh” mineta went up in flames before melting into a puddle on the ground
everyone quietly looked at the puddle on the floor.
“do you think that is going to stain?” the alien girl asked
“STAIN?!” todoroki, tensei, and midoriya said and went into a PTSD flashback
“idk, but don’t drink it” eraserhead said and kicked denki away with his foot as he tried to lick it up like a dog
eraserhead tried to start the lesson but suddenly a loud noise was heard from outside the window
“sorry class that is my idiot husband” eraserhead said and opened the window to hear better
“eraser!!! all might!!! come home right now!!!! it’s important!!!!” screamed mic from their home. he could scream so loud that he did not own a cell phone as it was cheaper and easier to just scream across town.
“ok class i have to leave.” said eraserhead. he sent a text message to his fellow teacher toshinori to come watch his class
when the toshinori arrived, eraserhead said to his class “please dont be bad. i already know you wont be good, so just be like not totally horrible for toshinori. also don’t let denki drink this juice as it definitely has AIDS”
eraserhead jumped out the window and met all might at the front gate. he jumped on the bigger man’s back and they flew back home.
“what is it, mic?” asked eraserhead angrily. he just wanted a nap and he’d already had to deal with so much shit today.
mic was frantically pacing around the apartment grabbing pillows and blankets. he grabbed eraserheads scarf and hurried into the bedroom.
“wtf” said eraserhead and all might together
they followed their husband into the bedroom to find he’d made a nest at the foot of their bed.
“what are you doing?” asked eraserhead
“idk” said mic as he pulled off his pants
“i know we’re in a gay three way and i’ve literally sucked your dick and eaten your ass dozens of times but im very not turned on by this right now” said eraserhead
“hmmm, i dont know yet. i maybe turned on” said all might
mic squated down in his nest of blankets. his face squeezed tight in pain >-< he groaned and grunted several times
“i swear to god, mic, if you poop in our bed im going to make you eat it” said eraserhead
but mic did not poop the bed. instead he began to lay an egg!
it was a very, very large egg. too large for mic’s tiny, twink bum. but the human body is amazing and life finds a way.
mic’s ass unhinged like the jaws of a snake and the egg slipped out of his pink asshole. the egg was covered in a slimy, sticky film almost like semen. mic’s asshole slowly returned to size but it continued to pulse in a steady manner. would it ever return to normal? eraserhead did not know but he was pretty sure he was not going to put his dick back in there for a long time.
“you know what, i take it back. i’d rather you poop the bed” said eraserhead angrily
“owwww” cried mic “that hurt and you are mean again”
“well you just layed an egg in my bed so i feel like im deserve to be mean” said eraserhead
“how is this possible?” said all might, no longer turned on by the situation (well maybe a little)
“i don’t know!!” cried mic holding his bum and laying in the nest cradling his egg.
“did you fuck a bird?” asked all might
“no!”
“are you related to a bird?”
“no!”
everyone was confused. how is this possible?
“hey eraserhead, isn’t one of your students a bird? maybe we should ask him?” said all might
“who? tokoyami? he is not a bird. he is just a really dedicated furry. that is just the head of his fursuit” explained eraserhead
“who’s egg do you think it is?” asked all might
“ITS MINE!!” yelled mic >:o making everyones ears bleed
“we need to talk to recovery girl. she can do an xray and tell us what is in the egg” said all might
“ok lets go” said eraserhead and climbed on the bigger mans back again. all might picked up mic who was holding the egg and they went off to find recovery girl.
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thank you for reading :3
stay tuned to find out what is in the egg? what happen to mineta? who is the spy in the class? many more mysteries to come.
this is my first fic. please be nice to me. please like and subscribe. i will try to update weekly :3