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your veggistence makes my heart thumps, Baekcoli!

Summary:

in which Baekhyun is a broccoli and Chanyeol is a flower cabbage (cauliflower), and Yeol wanna marry Baek but he's different so he colours himself green.

Notes:

  • For .

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

7 am is Chanyeol's favourite time of the day, because in two minutes, the human will unwrap the broccoli box and he'll see his sweetheart.

 

Exactly at 7:02 am, the broccoli(s) are freshly displayed and his sweetheart, the most beautiful veggie there is to ever exist, lays there, very so sexily. When he blinks, it feels as if he's seducing the entire flower buds on his head and Chanyeol will always be left in awe.

 

"He," jabs "are," jabs "so" jabs "seducing" jabs "me." The continuous jabs makes Oh Sehun, his best cabbage buddy whines. "Chan, really, both of you are entirely different veggies. You can't make him have your cabbage babies!" Sehun screams almost loudly in frustration.

 

"No, Sebage, you don't understand. Who says two different veggies can't marry each other? If two humans with different races and colour skin can, then why can't I!?" Chanyeol sways his cabbage buds and hits Sehun in anger. He can't take this anymore. Sehun, as his best cabbud should support his love and dreams all the way, but why is Sehun discouraging him!?

 

"God," Sehun rolls his eyes, "Stop calling me Sebage I am not that wimpy cabbage baby that won’t bloom no more. I am a sexy cabbage now."

 

Just then they heard the broccoli boxes messy screams and gasps everywhere. Chanyeol tried to jump to see the commotion but before he even succeeded, he heard the bossy carrot named Kim Junmyeon, (who Chanyeol needed to clarify about his bad puns and jokes but still doesnt have a ball to do it yet. ‘does cabbage has balls? Sehun would always ask’) and his friend Kim Jongdae strut in to them and laugh. They know about Chanyeol's big crush over broccoli Baekhyun and since they have a lot of connections between all the veggies communities, they always know the gossips first.

 

"Hey Park, apparently your sweetheart got proposed today." Junmyeon laughs.

 

"You know what they say, broccoli and cauliflower just won’t match together. Remember that old myth of your ancestors hating too much greenies they tryna be white but still look like a broccoli? Ha! Two frenemies can't be lovers Park!" Jongdae teases him. God, if only Jongdae is near enough, he'll scratch his ugly skin with his flower buds.

 

"Remember Park, you're white and Baekhyun's green. You can't be together!" Junmyeon shouts before leaving Chanyeol in anger. Sehun, feeling pitiful towards his cabbud tries to comfort him, "That's okay Chan, you'll meet a prettier and sexier cabbage than Baekcoli." Sehun pats Chanyeol.

 

"But Sehun! I dont want any other cabbage than Baekcoli!" Chanyeol stomps his feet.

 

Sehun sighs, "The Kims are right, flower cabbage don’t go with broccoli Chan. Green and white don’t mix together."

 

"Why are guys so keen about the colour!? If that's the only reason why this has been stopping me, then I'll colour myself green. Just so you see!"

 

Shock is an understatement, Sehun feels like his eyes are about to pop out of the sockets. "ARE YOU CRAZY CHAN!? You can't do that! And Baek is getting married!"

 

Chanyeol smirks, "No Sebage, he just got proposed, we didn't know if he said yes or no. I'm gonna meet him tomorrow."

 

"Like this?"

 

Sehun motions to Chanyeol's appearance. Chanyeol rolls his eyes, "Of course not, tomorrow, I'll be a sexy broccoli, my Baekcoli will be the one drooling over me instead."

 

*

 

When the next day comes, Sehun wakes up to no Chanyeol. He didn't expect that dumb cabbage will do it for real. He could only wish Chanyeol good luck and still alive with his undercover.

 

 Across the boxes, Chanyeol was struggling with his new coated self, he feels foreign but for his sweetheart, he'll do it. There, at the front row, lies his sweetheart, still looking so beautiful so sexy, and the sight this close makes him look more ethereal, Chanyeol is truly blessed. He has never seen a veggie this gorgeous as if it's waiting to be devoured. Raw, and real.

 

Chanyeol walks slowly to his sweetheart, nervous and failed to not tripping on the surface. "Hi," Chanyeol waves awkwardly in front of Baekhyun.

 

"Hi back to you," Baekhyun replies seductively. "You seem new, and a bit weird?" Baekhyun asks but there's a knowing smirk on his face.

 

"Ah y-yes. I don't think I look weird though," Chanyeol fidgets uncomfortably.

 

"You do actually, your flower buds seems different." Oh shit. Baekhyun can't know this, he can't know that Chanyeol is actually a flower cabbage or his sweetheart will hate him forever.

 

Just when he is about to add more lies, someone accidentally pushes him and he falls in a water bucket beside the box. Slowly, his green coat fades, and his real skin shows up. Baekhyun's droopy eyes double in size and everyone in the broccoli box gasps. Seconds pass by, murmurs fills his ears and Chanyeol feels like crying. His Baekcoli, being a sweetheart he is, helps Chanyeol to climb into the broccoli box back and dry him with his leaves.

 

Chanyeol cries, heart wrenching and mind churning. This is it, his sweetheart is going to hate him, and the entire broccoli community is going to throw him out. "I'm sorry Baekhyun! I know you're a broccoli but I can’t help it that I like you so much! You are always there, at the front display looking all so beautiful on 7:02 am every day. And every day, my eyes will always seek for your veggistence. I know that you got proposed yesterday, but I don’t care. I don’t even care if you said yes, I still want to see you up close and enjoy this short moment while it lasts. And I know that you hate me now knowing that I am a flower cabbage, not a broccoli, so I'll go now. But I want you to know, that this is the happiest day of my life since I got to meet you this close. Thank you, and I love you.”

 

Chanyeol is about to walk away when suddenly a hand tugs on his flower buds. "You have such unique buds, it's so big but sadly you don’t use it properly to hear me." Baekhyun smiles sadly. "Listen, do you know the reason why I'm always at the front, displaying myself to the world? Lying there for hours, trying to catch someone's attention. It's tiring but I don't mind it at all."

 

"I d-dont know. Is it because of the guy who proposed to you?" Chanyeol asks, unsure.

 

"No, not him. It's you."

 

"What?" Chanyeol asks in disbelief.

 

"You, Chanyeol. It's because of you. It was always you. Now that you even came here in green, trying to disguise yourself as a broccoli, my efforts are all worth it." His sweetheart smiles, and suddenly to Chanyeol nothing else matters right now aside from Baekhyun and his smile.

 

"So a-are you s-saying that you like me? Me as in a cauliflower? The flower cabbage?"

 

Baekhyun laughs, "Yes silly. I like you a lot."

 

"So me coming here actually worth something?"

 

"Yup, me." Baekhyun points to himself.

 

"But what about that guy who proposed to you?" Chanyeol gasps.

 

"Of course I said no. I want you, remember?"

 

"Oh Baek," Chanyeol says before swooping down and kisses Baekhyun, his sweetheart, his princess, his love veggiely and peppers Baekhyun's face with cute kisses. He can hear Sehun's shout 'you go champ!' and 'thats my cabbud there WOOHOO!!!' across the boxes.

 

Chanyeol is all smiles and hugs Baekhyun, "Let's get married and make a lot of broccabbage babies." Baekhyun nods and sighs happily.

 

 

 

The end. 

Notes:

honestly i'm so bored and it's been so long since i did a tweetfic so here's a result of me thinking of chanbaek when my mum buys too much vegetables. also crossposted this on lj & aff. (obviously i edited some parts. original tweet link: https://twitter.com/sehuneyo/status/837917232915046401)