Tommyinnit's Guide to Every AU
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TommyInnit’s Guide to Being Employed and Other Poor Decisions by zephyrine_darling
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Empires SMP, Hermitcraft SMP
14 May 2026
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Summary
Tommy is an unregistered vigilante with a talent for surviving things he really shouldn’t and a bank account that says he needs a job yesterday. Unfortunately, “illegal street hero” isn’t exactly something you can put on a résumé.
So he lies.
Landing a position as a superhero’s assistant sounds easy enough—paperwork, comms, maybe the occasional coffee run. Definitely not fieldwork. Definitely not getting involved. Definitely not recognizing half the criminals on sight or knowing exactly how they think.
Tommy is absolutely not subtle.
Between filing reports about crimes that feel a little too familiar, dodging increasingly pointed questions, and trying very hard not to blow his own cover mid-mission, Tommy discovers that working on the legal side of heroism is a lot more complicated than punching bad guys in an alley.
Worse, his new coworkers are starting to notice things.
And if they connect the dots, Tommy might finally learn that consequences don’t just exist for everyone else.
Series
- Part 1 of Tommyinnit's Guide to Every AU
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they don’t write stories about kids like me (so i will) by zephyrine_darling
Fandoms: Dream SMP
20 Apr 2026
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Summary
Tommy doesn’t remember when surviving stopped being a phase and started being his whole life.
By day, he works a dead-end job in the Lower District, smiling at customers and counting change like his hands don’t shake. By night, he’s a vigilante—illegal, unregistered, and one bad decision away from being caught or killed.
His power doesn’t help.
Give him a detail—just one—and he can unravel a person, a fight, a future. Every movement predicted, every weakness exposed. It’s useful. It’s dangerous. It hurts.
Too much information, too fast, and his mind fractures under the weight of it. Migraines, blurred vision, thoughts that aren’t his own. He keeps using it anyway.
Because if he stops, he loses.
And Tommy can’t afford to lose.
Not when rent is due.
Not when heroes are hunting him.
Not when the people who raised him—the villains he ran from—are starting to look for him again.He knows how this ends.
He just doesn’t know if he survives it.
Series
- Part 2 of Tommyinnit's Guide to Every AU
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Summary
Theseus Danger Kraken Rosales was never a hero.
And he would never be one.
Not an official one anyways
He lived with his mom, worked at a bakery, and had powers
He never really understood why his powers were so great.
But after finding out his father and brothers are villains and hunting him down
(and it's definitely not because Tommy is able to copy and mimic every power known to man.... right?)
Tommy and Kristin try to escape and avoid them. That doesn't work out.
Or: I make Tommyinnit overpowered as fuck and he gets kidnapped by his own father and brothers and gets brainwashed. (Also divorced Kristin and Philza, sorry chat)
Series
- Part 3 of Tommyinnit's Guide to Every AU