Chapter Text
"If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to tell me," I said.
My voice was flat, yet inside felt as heavy as if a large boulder were resting upon it. The young girl's move into her new home began in silence. A few suitcases and boxes of personal belongings sat quietly in the middle of the spacious hall.
She stood right there—my close friend's only daughter. A small figure in dark clothing, looking gaunt and lifeless. She didn't speak, didn't cry, didn't throw a tantrum. There was only silence and a sorrow that clung around her like a fog that never faded. The very same eyes that used to sparkle while running around the house were now devoid of any trace of happiness.
I looked at her with feelings difficult to describe.
This loss violently severed my heart. Her mother and father were not just friends, but family—a mental refuge and some of the very few warm memories in my exhausting life. The sudden passing of my close friends left a large wound in my heart. But when I looked at the young girl before me, my pain was utterly incomparable to what she had to bear.
She had lost everything... Lost the people who loved her most in the world, and lost a family that was once full of laughter, warm, and always encompassing her with love. The house that was once her safe haven collapsed in the blink of an eye, leaving behind only a loneliness she had to face all by herself.
I slowly crouched down to be at her eye level. Though I was not someone good at conveying emotion or speaking sweet words, I was determined to protect her and lead her through this life storm.
"From now on, this is your home," I repeated in a voice as firm and gentle as a man like me could manage. "There is no rush, no need to act strong. If you are tired or sad, you can always sit down and rest right here... I will be here."
"Don't worry about school either," I spoke up, shattering the silence that almost swallowed both of us. "The school is fully aware of everything. The homeroom teacher handled the leave for you. They allowed you to rest at home until your mental state is ready... There's no need to rush anything."
I watched her reaction. She merely gave a slight nod, her eyes still fixed on the floor tiles, as if the words 'school' or 'future' had become distant and meaningless matters at this time.
Taking time off was not just a matter of regulations; it was an absolute necessity. A loss of this magnitude was not something a girl of school age could handle in just a few days. Lessons, worksheets, or exams could always wait. But her broken heart needed time to slowly piece itself back together.
I let out a long sigh in my chest, adjusting my posture to appear as calm and steady as possible, so that she would feel that at least in this house, there was a safe space where no one would pressure her.
"If you need anything more, no matter what it is, just tell me," I reiterated in a voice soft yet firm. "Get plenty of rest."
Days rolled by slowly, yet the curtain of sorrow inside this house did not freeze with the hands of the clock. She refused to leave her bedroom...
For the first few days, I chose to let her have time with herself. Silence and personal space might be what a shattered heart needed most at this moment. All I could do was gently carry trays of food and water to place in front of her door, checking every morning and evening for any signs of them being touched. Yet those food trays were brought back out in virtually the same condition almost every time. The absolute silence behind that wooden door began to turn into a worry that gradually eroded my heart. The young girl's physical condition, already thin to begin with, would no longer be able to endure this refusal of food and pain.
I stood in front of her room door. The food tray in my hands was carefully set on a small table beside the room. I raised my hand and knocked on the door gently in a steady rhythm before speaking in a deep voice that tried its absolute best to maintain gentleness.
"Little one..." I called her name softly. "Come out and eat a little something. It doesn't have to be much... Even just a bit of warm soup would be good."
No response signal came from inside. There was only a loneliness emanating through the gap beneath the door.
"I know it's hard... I know very well how agonizing every second of opening your eyes is," I let the words drift through the silence. "I'm not telling you to force a smile or pretend like nothing happened... You don't need to be strong at all."
I let out a long sigh. The pain in my own chest hadn't gone anywhere either, but it was suppressed by duty and worry for the young girl in front of me.
"Please... accept help from me. Let me take care of you as I once promised your dad and mom."
My voice began to tremble with sincere pleading.
The thick wooden door that had separated us for so long slowly vibrated. The subtle click of the lock turning sounded softly through the quiet, like a thread on the verge of snapping. The door opened slowly, revealing the small figure standing there trembling. The gauntness and her eyes, swollen and bruised from heavy crying, gnawed at my heart with painful intensity. She held tightly onto the edge of the door, as if that were the only thing keeping her weakened body from collapsing.
"I... miss them so much, Kento..."
The trembling voice that escaped her throat was faint, yet far more powerful and heartbreaking than the rainstorm outside. Tears she had tried to hold back poured forth continuously.
"What should I do?... My heart, it hurts... It hurts like it's being squeezed all the time."
Those words struck directly at the core of my heart. The true depth of pain of the young girl before me slammed into the middle of my chest. The agony of an irreversible loss was crushing this small mind.
I didn't utter any words immediately, knowing well that at this moment, beautiful comforting words were meaningless. I held her in my arms with the utmost care.
The contact returned was rigid and powerless. She threw her weight toward me, like a person drowning in a large river reaching for the last branch. Her small fingers clutched my dress shirt tightly until her knuckles turned pale white. The loud sobs she had once suppressed now overflowed uncontrollably—a cry most broken and bare that a human could possibly utter.
Wet tears seeped through the fabric at my chest. That chilly dampness cut deep inside, yet all I could do was tighten the embrace, resting a hand on her back that was heaving with the force of her sobs, stroking it carefully and steadily.
"I know... I know. I miss them too," I whispered beside her ear, the deep voice trying to maintain stability becoming parched and trembling no differently. I allowed her to use this space to vent all the pain she had, letting her tears and anguish surge out without any thought of interrupting.
In the quiet tranquility of the large house that was once desolate, the steady, heavy beat of my heart right against her chest was likely the only thing enough to anchor her to reality.
"I cannot erase this pain for you... and no one can replace them," I said while holding the small frame securely. "But you will no longer have to carry it alone. From now on... whenever your heart hurts too much to bear, step out to find me. I will always be right here."
The body in my arms gradually released more weight into me. The accumulated exhaustion from crying and starving began to wring the last bits of strength from her. Yet the initial tension slowly relaxed, leaving only the faint rhythm of breathing and raindrops of tears still falling onto the chest of my shirt.
My eyes looked at my close friend's daughter, who was growing weary and falling asleep in my arms. The heart once weighed down heavily bloomed with a certain feeling... A deep feeling that had been rooted deep in my mind for a long time.
My thoughts drifted back to many years ago—the day my close friend smiled happily while looking down at the tiny infant in his arms. He turned to me with eyes brimming with hope and vitality before asking me to take on the role of godfather to this baby girl.
At that second when I held the newborn infant in my hands, feeling the extreme softness, purity, and delicacy, countless worries plunged into the heart of a man like me. Could a man who had lived with rules and cold reality all along truly fulfill this important duty well? How well could I protect this adorable and deeply pure living being?
Yet, as time went by, that little girl slowly grew up... and unwittingly became the most important part of my world.
Every time she was in pain, fell down, or had tears, my heart felt as if it were being slashed. But on the flip side, whenever she smiled or let out a clear, bright laugh, the heart once exhausted from fighting through this merciless world felt as though it were soaked in warm water—relaxed, warm, and truly healed.
I tightened the embrace supporting the small body that began to murmur and sob softly in her dream, carefully pressing a kiss onto her hair.
I swear... I pledged silently in the quietness of the room. Even if this world falls apart or whatever it may cost, I will be everything you need me to be. A refuge, a shield, a home, and a light in the dark... just so you can smile and laugh once again