Chapter Text
The news that they were getting a new member in the Phoenix Program left the group excited. It wasn’t often they got people who worked directly with them. While the program was in full swing there weren’t many hero teams made from it. They were often moved into more civilian roles.
The whole team wanted to see the new person. Blazer had let the crime list slip. Fraud, Attempted Murder, Stalking, Assault with a deadly weapon, Menacing, Coercion, False Imprisonment and Tampering with Public Records.
“She’s got quite the track record, aye? Maybe she’ll get along with Coop.”
“She doesn’t sound like the assassin-y type,” Invisigal pointed out.”Not if you get caught for all that.”
“Ah. True.”
Chad was watching Robert, who had only been told that morning. Apparently it was a last minute decision since the woman kept causing problems everywhere else. Robert looked calm. And Chad couldn’t blame him. He knew Robert could handle most things.
The woman walked in wearing her hero costume. To Chad it honestly looked more like a sweatsuit with some accessories. But there was no accounting for bad taste. Robert’s back was turned to the front so Blazer had to tell him to turn around.
Robert turned, ready to welcome the new member. However as soon as he saw her his mouth clicked close and Chad could see his jaw tense.
“Blazer. Could I have a word in your office? Alone?”
“Oh- sure! Crystal Ball if you can just wait in the lobby with the rest of the Z-Team-”
“Okay!” She chimed and walked right over, all smiles.
Chad watched Robert walk off with Blazer, assumedly to go talk in her office. No. Chad did not like this one bit. Not at all. He broke off from the group to follow.
“Flambae! Where are you going! Come introduce yourself!”
“Yea yea in a sec. I’m checking on my boyfriend.”
He said it more to test the waters because he had a hunch. When he saw a complicated mix of emotions cross Crystal Ball’s face and her smile and eye twitch he knew he hit the nail on the head.
“Simp,” Invisigal needled.
“You’re just mad because I bagged him and you didn’t.”
“Damn you’re not even wrong."
Flambae walked off, leaving this bitch with the rest of the group. As he did he pulled out his phone to text Prism.
Bae: I think this bitch is one of Robert’s exes. Keep an eye on her.
Prism: Oh ~drama~. Will do Bae.
He responded by hearting her message and jogging to Blazer’s office. The two had just gotten there and hadn’t headed inside. Robert turned as soon as Chad stepped up.
“Is this a conversation I need to be a part of? This feels like a ‘include Flambae’ conversation.”
“Flambae-” Robert started.
“No no. I’ve developed a very good ‘Robert’s shitty exes’ radar and this bitch is a bright red blinking spot. I’m being part of this conversation.”
Robert sighed, “Get inside of Blazer’s office. I’ll explain there. I don’t want everyone to know about my office drama.”
“And deprive Galen of the gossip?”
“I get along with Galen. I’ll tell him directly later.”
Flambae stepped into the office behind Blazer and Robert closed the door behind them. Flambae sat down in one of the chairs as Blazer sat down in her chair.
“Alright Robert. Lay it on me. What’s the issue? You never turn down a challenge.”
Robert more dropped into the chair than sat down.
“Flambae isn’t wrong that she’s my ex. Do you have her file?”
“Yeah. Here.”
Blazer put the file on the desk and Robert flipped to the crimes.
“Remember how much I spent on maintaining the suit? Well Chrysanthemum-”
“Chrysanthemum? That’s her fucking name?”
“-Anyway. Found out I had money. I never really spent it recklessly but she figured it out somehow. So she forged our marriage certificate and submitted it without me knowing. So I was technically married while also not being married since it was fraud-”
Chad stood up so fast he nearly knocked over the chair. “That bitch?”
“Flambae. Please sit down and let Robert finish.”
“Let him finish! That should be enough to refuse her from the Z-Team!”
“Oh trust me. This is a huge conflict of interest. I fully intend on turning her down for this position. However I need the full story. Please sit down.”
Chad reluctantly sat back down.
“As I was saying. After that she tried to poison me only for what I assume would be inheriting the wealth my father left behind. Obviously it didn’t work because I’m still here-”
Flambae was trying very hard to keep control of himself. Clearly not well enough because Robert shuffled his seat closer and grabbed his hand.
“So I survived and when I learned about being married I filed a police report and it got nullified. Which didn’t sit too well with her because she spent a few months stalking me. So she does know I’m Mecha Man. She never said anything, thank fuck. But still. She pretty much broke my door down with an axe and threatened me with a pair of scissors to sign a marriage certificate.”
“She’s insane. She’s actually batshit fucking insane,” Chad mattered, his grip on Robert’s hand tightening.
“The neighbors heard the commotion and she was arrested. And that was the end of the story until today.”
“Jesus Christ Robert,” Blazer said. Because what else was there to say.
“You really know how to pick’em. The guy whose fingers you cut off while he was a villain seems fucking tame compared to this shit.”
“I’m only left to assume she tracked me down and wants to join the Torrance branch because she might not be over me. But even if she is, I really don’t want to take that risk. And I really don’t want to work with her.”
Blazer nodded, deadly serious. “Thank you for telling me Robert. And not just putting up with it.”
“I really don’t want to deal with the drama if I don’t have to. Especially if that drama is with my ex. If she really does want to turn her life around, I don’t want to stop her. But as the person she targeted I really don’t want to have to work with her.”
“I’d like to see that bitch try something,” he muttered as he pulled out his phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Texting Prism. I told her my hunch before I got here.”
Bae: Insane bitch is getting axed.
Prism: LMAO? WHAT DID SHE DO?
Bae: Girl you would not BELIEVE me if I texted it to you.
“I’ll go down and inform her that her application to the Z-Team has been denied based on the fact that she omitted important information.”
“She might say she didn’t know that I was the Z-Team dispatcher.”
“Well... you’ve got a team of 10. Which is already pretty full. We’ll put her on a different team for now and move her to another branch at another time.”
Robert let out a long sigh and Chad could see the tension sip from his body.
“And if she tries anything I’ll burn her face off.”
“Flambae.” Blazer warned.
“Only if she tries anything! Otherwise I am Robert’s faithful guard dog.”
Prism: Bae you would not believe. I’ve been talking about you two dating and she looks like a pressure cooker that wants to explode.
Bae: I’m going to have to have Robert pull the security tapes later. I am not letting him down there with her. Blazer’s coming down.
Chad let out a full body sigh and stood up. Then he bent down and tossed Robert over his shoulder. “You are so lucky my muscles are as big as my tits. Come on. Back to the desk. That way your old man old brother can watch you so I can throw this bitch outside. Since your normie ass decided to date a super that’s fucking insane.”
“More insane than trying to burn down a mall?”
“I wasn’t in that for the money I was in it for the love of the game and the suicide.”
“Wow we’re just calling it what it is now?”
“My therapist has been doing great work.”
Flambae deposited Robert at his desk. “Have a good day at work, Bob-bob.”
Robert stretched up, and Flambae bent down to meet him halfway for a kiss. “I want the footage of that bitch. Prism says she looks like she’s going to explode,” he murmured into the kiss.
“Anything for you.”
Robert, apparently, needed protection even from himself. Since his track record of exes was horrendous. No fucking wonder Robert was so nonchalant when Chad would threaten him.