Chapter Text
“Ughhhhhh, I don’t get it, so am I making a profit or not?! Fuuuuck I’m the worst Asian ever.” Caruso slams his head into the table, completely bamboozled by numbers.
On Caruso’s right, Rodger clears his throat, masking his angry growl at having to explain this, basically every time they meet up.
“Caruso…first off not all Asian people are good at math, stop perpetuating stereotypes… second, your gross profits, yeah they look like a lot of money but. Your net profits are, smaller. Meaning…” Caruso glares at him, and says in an obviously annoyed voice.
“I don’t knooooooowwww. And fuck you! I am Asian, I can perpech..ate what stereotypes I want!” Rodger properly growls this time, arguing back,
“Not the only Asian person in the world, Caruso! The whole point, is that we do our best to not perpetuate any stereotypes, even our own!” Fiona snorts, taking a sip of her beer, as Caruso and Rodger begin yet another one of their ‘calm, philosophical, debates’. She has finished her tasks for the day, now awaiting for her hot, curvy girlfriend, who has agreed to pick her up, for a ‘special night at home’. Out of pure joy, and pettiness towards Caruso hanging up on her earlier, she doesn’t try to explain to him what the math means either, and instead revels in the chaos.
Fed up with the arguing, Max groans, and forcefully points at the paper, from Caruso’s left.
“Dude, you are buying expensive things. You then made those things, into things, and sold them. However, you have made less money the last few weeks, in comparison, to how much you have bought. Come on Caruso, you know what that means.” Caruso gulps, and rubs his hands along his neck, in a soothing motion, for himself.
“S-so, what if, I don’t buy any more expensive stuff the next while? Surely I’ll sell enough to cover the net…thingy…I’m so sure I’ll sell enough dresses to cover it…why are you all somehow giving me the ‘you’re being stupid look’, at the exact same fucking time, it’s rude.” Indeed, the three of them are glaring at him simultaneously,
Granted, they want to support him in his, rather large ambitions, but they also are easily annoyed each time Caruso complains about how little he makes, when he’s the one insisting he ‘knows what he’s doing’ and ‘totally has a plan for his business’.
Being an artist himself, Buzz is typically the person Caruso goes to for these complaints, as Buzz understands that you can in fact make good profits in creative work, they are just less frequent then say, a 9 to 5 job like Fiona.
Fiona, who has been working as a mechanic for the last year, since she graduated her trades program some years ago. Not to say her work is always high paying, her temperament sometimes dissuades very rich customers, who want to mod out their stuff for fun, instead of practicality.
Rodger softened his face, sympathetic to Caruso’s money problems. Though he technically should be in a medical student program to be a doctor, he has been taking, longer than he expected to finish his Bachelor’s degree.
Technically speaking, Rodger was originally going to finish his degree at a university, doing his best to earn good grades, and pay for his own things, by working. Unfortunately, around when others were finishing their fourth year in college, Rodger had experienced a mental breakdown, mostly as he couldn’t work enough to pay for his rent, and do well in school, causing him to drop out of classes completely. He ended up, for nearly a year, staying in his shitty apartment in Toronto, of all places, cause he wanted to try studying abroad! Except he barely studied while there, struggling to pay rent, and going very behind on his grades, not even properly finishing his second year classes, in four years.
His mother assured him it was possible, but what he forgot to think about, was how expenses were at least livable in his mom’s college years. Eventually he moved home, and transferred to a community college, just so he could get a good grade, and be capable of paying for tuition, without going broke.
Yeahhh. I guess I can’t blame Caruso for, wanting to do something he’s good at, and try to make a profit out of it…Too bad he’s dyslexic, but the one for math. And probably is not medicating for his, obvious ADHD…not that I can diagnose that, yet or really should as a medical doctor, and not a mental health professional. Ughh. Biomedical engineering looks sooo much better- NO RODGER! We’re stuck in this, you’ve seen the cost and benefits analysis! I-I mean, I have spent way too much money, I gotta just…stick it out…yeahhhh, make the fam proud Rodger you got this…totallllly.
“RODGER FOR THE SAKE OF THE HOLY VIRGIN MOTHER MARY, WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU NOT BEEN RESPONDING FOR, AT LEAST THE LAST FEW MINUTES! Shit guys he’s having a strok-“ Rodger rolls his eyes at Caruso’s naturally dramatic nature, and punches him lightly in the arm for it. Caruso gasps out betrayal, as he pretends to die on the table, from;
“-too much math, pain, and betrayal aghhhhh nooooo!.....” Rodger snorts, saying,
“Drama Queen.” Caruso’s eyes light up, as he remembers, who he is meeting, after the Dino Squad weekly study/work session. He looks at the clock on the wall, grinning madly when he sees its close to 5, about when he’d agree to leave and go meet Victoria. Thus, he closes his small planner of his business papers and notes.
“Welllll, thanks for the explanation, really appreciate it…wait Fiona, you drank, how you gonna give me a ride to…” He gets quiet, realizing he’s an idiot who forgets his friends can read him easily, cause he’s bad at lying, directly to them. Max crosses his arms in interest.
“Oh, is this that hot model your going out with?” Caruso blushes, and automatically corrects him,
“Uh, I told you...he looks like a model, not that he’s actually a model.” Fiona coughs on her sip of beer, saying louder than she meant to,
“HIMMM? HE’S ANCIENT- ooh shit I meant to zip my mouth about that.” She laughs, as Caruso face palms, groaning out,
“Fionaaaaa, that’s mean. You promised you wouldn’t tell!” Fiona hiccups, cheekily saying,
“You, made that agreement with sober Fiona, so ha-ghb on you!” Fiona burbs, rubbing her stomach for a moment. Rodger shakes his head, after scratching it for a good minute.
“I don’t get it, why would Fiona know and not us? Do we know an ancient person?” Max cringes, evident in his lip curl.
“Eww, really, Caruso are you dating someone’s grandfather?” Caruso gulps audibly, thinking to himself,
W-well technically older than…a lot of peoples grandparents….I find it super unlikely she, actually reproduced…hopefully?
Fiona laughs loudly at Max’s question, idly commenting,
“Well, certainly someone’s great-great-great-great-grandfather!” Caruso curses, pointing at her, automatically with anger.
“Uh no, fuck you! Victor is gay, he’s nobody’s grand…shit.” He looks, watching as the gears click in Rodger’s head. Audibly, Rodgers answers back his own question.
“Wait…ancient, we obviously know him or you two wouldn’t make such a big deal out of this…Victor...nooo. Caruso you’re not, dating Victor Veloci, are you?” At this, Max snorts, saying,
“Yeah right, as if Caruso would date our goddamn arch nemesis. Our enemy, much less somebody who is literally, not a human…right, Caruso?” He raises his brow in confusion, seeing Caruso bite his lip, and awkwardly rub his shoulder, while Fiona is clearly trying to stop herself from having a fit of laughter from the couch, making small burps under her breath as she does. Caruso tries to smile, hoping his teammates will, not kill him right here and now.
“Well…technically we’re not dating, just. Hooking up?” Rodger and Max both widen their eyes in shock. Rodger straight up doesn’t believe it, shaking his head as he paces back and forth, around the table.
“No, no, no no no, you have to be joking. Please tell me this is an early Halloween trick Caruso, you have to!” Max nods along, and stands to grab Caruso’s shoulders, shaking him back and forth when he doesn’t say anything.
“Come on Caruso, we all love a good prank around these parts. Please, is this getting back at me for when I put whip cream in your locker that one time? It’s a really good prank in that case! Right?!...Caruso why the hell aren’t you saying anything?!!!” Caruso grits his teeth, hearing Max ‘s voice get more shrilly. He rubs his ear, trying to calmly say,
“Well…maybe cause it’s not a prank?” Max stands back, siting at the table, his face completely white as a ghost. Rodger meanwhile, is doing his best to take deep breaths.
“Why…the hell…WOULD YOU FUCKING DATE THE GUY WHO TURNED US INTO DINOSAURS AGAINST OUR WILL? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!” Rodger eventually gives up and yells in Caruso’s face. Again, Caruso shows no fear, as he again rubs his ears.
“Jesus, for the last time, we’re not dating, we are only hooking up-“ Max yells back, in much the same volume as Rodger,
“THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER, CARUSO WHAT THE FUCK? Are you really, that desperate, that you’ll have sex with an actual dinosaur?!” Caruso hums at that, tapping his fingers against his chin, as his friends both glare at him. Fiona raises her brow, also interested in Caruso’s answer to this question. Eventually, he shrugs and says
“Technically, he’s not a dinosaur when we have sex.” Rodger face palms at that, while Max sticks his tongue out, grossed out at the images popping up in his head.
“Ew ew ew, ugh never gonna get that one out…is this revenge for when I made out with Stacy Andrews?” Caruso rolls his eyes at that question. He punctuates each of his points, with an aggressive jab to Max’s chest.
“Oh yeah Max, cause eeeeeverything has to revolve around you, doesn’t it?!” He gets close to Max, his hands as fists by his side. He glares up at him, still well below Max’s height, even compared to Victoria. Still, he’s not scared of him. He’s thought of this scenario many times after they stopped being friends with benefits.
I can punch his chin easily, and oh would you look at that, perfect knee groining range. Fucker would deserve it. Then I kick him in the left side, he always preferred that one. Than-
He thinks all of these thoughts while ranying yet again to Max about the effects of the choice he made last year. Eventually, Caruo does remember the original question posed around his involvement with their supposed enemy. As such, he finally ends his rant with,
“-And for your information, I’m doing this for a very, very good reason!” Rodger angrily pulls his hand down from his face, rubbing it profusely as he does.
“Then, pray tell, what good fucking reason, would you ever have, for sleeping with the mad scientist, who’s turning the world back in time to before the extinction!” Cause I like her, talking to her, being with her, and I need to pretend that I don’t.
Of course, Caruso refuses to tell the truth, in this case, and lies to his friends,
“To…spy on him! And, get information from him that…we could not get otherwise?” He phrases it like a question, even unsure in himself, about the exact reasoning behind his decision. Rodger’s eye twitches, at about the same time as Max face palms himself.
“Oooooh my god. We’re so doomed. Really? Do you want to be James Bond that bad?” Rodger laughs,
“Yeah, but at least James Bond didn’t try to fuck Blofeld!” Fiona snorts into the now empty bottle. She lays back and thinks out loud,
“Technically, the Lizard might make more sense in this case…except if Peter fucked Dr. Connors.” Caruso snorts, but is quickly turned on by the idea of Victoria in only a lab coat. He replies back annoyed, as the rest of his team is still laughing over the comparison.
“Fine! Laugh it alll up. But you all, should be thankful for my spy work!” Rodger replies back to that with a highly skeptical voice.
“Ooh really? And what has your, ‘spy work’, done for us exactly?” His fingers air quote at the word spy, making Caruso puff out his chest in retaliation.
“Uh, a bunch of stuff, excuse you! I gave you all a warning about those beetlesaurs on Seymour street!” Max leans back against the table, still in disbelief over the situation.
“I thought Buzz sent in that tip, from an anonymous…ahhhh, you’re the anonymous tipper?” Caruso stands proudly nodding, with his arms crossed.
“Uh huh! I also got pictures of the blueprint, for his factory-“ Fiona interjects, her brows furrowed.
“Not the location though.” Caruso points at her in rebellion,
“ACTUALLY! Little miss snitch, just like your snitch girlfriend, I did get the location, just last night. I also got pictures that, based on my last conversation with Victor, could show us how he’s updating his security.” He takes out his phone, finding the photos, and handing it to Rodger first, who is eager to assess what these ‘security measures’ could mean. He hums in thought.
“Well these look legit…how do you know he’s updating his security though?” Caruso leans his arm on Rodger’s shoulder, smugly saying,
“Well, he was complaining to me just last week, that they are updating their safety protocols, cause it was an annoying process apparently, and each of these white marks say ‘needs more cameras’, so yeah. YOUR WELCOME!” He yells right in Rodgers ear, at about the distance Rodger yelled at him earlier. Rodger curses While rubbing his temple,
“Ugh, what the fuck Caruso?! That was right next to my ear!” Caruso stick out his tongue after gleefully answering,
“I’m rubber your glue. You yelled at me, I yell back, you know that’s how this goes.” Rodger rolls his eyes at that, not regretfully, replying,
“ I did it straight to your face, you did it IN THE DIRECT location of my damn ear Caruso!” Caruso shrugs at that, taking back his phone. While sending the pictures in the team’s group chat, specifically the one without Ms. Moynihan.
“What, ever dude. Your welcome, again, why has no one thanked me for this juicy gossip?” Max raises his brow, at the specificity of the chat. The only real difference, is no Ms. Moynihan.
Caruso doesn’t usually keep secrets from her, unless its something really funny, really stupid, or both. Fuck, I wonder if that crazy bastard is manipulating him…not that Caruso would tell me…I’ll just, take note from my own head about his behaviour from here on out.
“…why didn’t you wanna send it to Ms. Moynihan?” Rodger of course asks, also noticing the difference. Caruso, without shame, answers,
“Easy, she don’t need to know I’m fucking her old friend. She will never look me in the eye, ever again. And I really like her! I don’t want her to, know that I’m a, complete slut.” Everyone in the room unanimously says,
“She knows.” Caruso clicks his tongue.
“You, ugh. You all, are assholes, what’d you tell her about me?” Fiona lets out a loud, dry laugh at that.
“Uh, you mean what you told her? Did you forget about your 25th birthday?” Caruso’s eyes blink rapidly, seemingly remembering blacking out after he downed 6 margaritas.
“Uhhh…lets say I do but, maybe pretend that I don’t and tell me what happened?” Fiona snorts and asks,
“Do you remember how Ms. Moynihan picked us up, and let us crash at the lighthouse?” Caruso tilts his head back and forth, remembering being woken up by fancy French toast that day.
“Hmm, I remember waking up at the light house.” Fiona continues on, while Rodger sits on the couch beside her, grabbing his half of the carton they split on.
“Well, you were craving hot dogs at some point, and for some dumb reason, you told us you wanted long hot cylindrical things down your throat-“ Rodger laughs, in a raspy voice, he comments,
“For some dumb reason? That’s just how Caruso talks.” Caruso nods, affirming Rodger’s point.
“Yep, sounds just like me. Continue.” Fiona shakes her head fondly, amusedly continuing,
“Well, Buzz of course teased you, calling you a slut. Ms. Moynihan told him, of course that, that was mean, and offensive. But you, dear Caruso. You hugged her, and told her, so honestly, ‘Awww, thank you for saying that! But to be totally honest Ms. Moynihan, I am a huge slut. But it’s okay! I’m super happy about it, cause it means more sex, for me!’” The team laughs, including Caruso, who is awkwardly rubbing his neck at the same time.
“GOD, I am. Such an open-mouthed bitch, I can’t keep no secrets.” Rodger raises his brow at him.
“Then…why’d you choose to be a spy…unless that wasn’t the original reason you’ve been hooking up with Victor for…how long as this been going on?” Caruso laughs quietly, scratching his neck. Max’s eyes narrow to where he's scratching. His eyes go wide seeing faint bite marks. Max’s mind turns about, as it does often for him. He watches without choice, as multiple scenes visually play before him.
In one scene, it comes from Caruso’s neck, being bitten by one Victor Veloci, over, and over again.
Fuck…I guess, yeah that makes sense for Caruso, I’ve done that to Caruso a lot….But really, why would he do that with him and not…
Before his eyes, Max sees another scene switch in front of the other, wherein Caruso and Victor intermingle together, in a sensual manner. He finds it wrong-.
What, what if, Victor does it to try tasting Caruso, before eating him? Or hurting him worse…Shit, I definitely have to make sure nothing happens to Caruso…from a distance.
The scene changes, and he sees Caruso being devoured, in bliss like a frog who bathes in hot water for too long. He sees him get slapped in the face like his m- he sees himself, rushing in and saving Caruso. Maybe then Caruso will-
NO NO NO he can’t know, he’ll leave
forever, he can’t…he can’t.
He zones out by this point not listening to Caruso tentatively answering,
“Like…ohh, maybe sorta once a week, for 5 weeks…well except this week, which will be 2 times, cause I’m seeing him again at, oh look at that! I should go. Fiona, any chance you can sober up, by pure will alone?” At once, Fiona at the same time as Rodger, shouts at an overwhelming volume,
“5 WEEKS?! LIKE, A MONTH AND A WEEK, CARUSO?” Caruso waves it off dismissively,
“Whatever, none of ya wanna hear about my sex life any way.” Fiona says in a yelling voice,
“FOR GOOD REASON, YOU NASTY!” While at the same time, Rodger says in a contemplative voice,
“Like, without details, some of your stories are too funny not to hear. Or just, educational, in a weird way.” At the exact same time Max says quietly,
“…says who.” To all of these comments, Caruso rubs his ears, with both hands, asking,
“What’d the hell did anyone say? You all said that way too loud, and how dare none of you take turns!” Max looks away, tucking into the chair awkwardly. He contemplates asking Fiona for a ride, and one of her bottles to numb himself from his mind, constantly showing him horrid things in front of his eyes, that he can’t get rid of. He only wishes the booze was effective enough to drown out the voices.
Fiona rolls her eyes, walking to the kitchen, to do the opposite of sobering up. Max follows her, not acknowledging the other team members. The same team members who, are unaware of his true thoughts, typically assuming he’s just, quiet.
Rodger waves his own hand dismissively, accidentally copying the way Caruso waved his earlier,
“No fucking clue what they said. But you know what, I’ll drive you to Victor’s. Might as well know where our main bad guy lives.” He puts his arm around Caruso’s shoulder, while walking to grab their stuff to leave. Caruso gulps, tentatively agreeing with Rodger, though not in spirit.
“Y-yup. Good spy move, me.” Rodger looks unimpressed at Caruso. As they leave the tower, Rodger walks out to have a smoke. Caruso follows, deciding to have a puff of his half jointer from the night before.
They lean against the lighthouse, lighting and inhaling at the same time. Rodger points his eyes at Caruso, blankly saying,
“You’re totally into Victor, aren’t you?” Caruso curses under his breath, exhaling as he does.
“Am I really that easy to read?” Rodger shrugs,
“Maybe when people don’t know you well. But when they do, you’re basically a talking portrait of your own emotions.” Caruso rolls his eyes.
“Jee thanks. Good to know I’m gonna suck at this spy stuff.” Rodger takes another puff, grumpily saying,
“Then why the fuck did you decide to spy on him?” He exhales out again, as Caruso inhales. Caruso thinks quietly. After a moment, he nervously asks,
“Would you…sorta maybe not tell anyone this?” Rodger immediately nods, loyal to his word.
“I will. You know I will. Which means, you gotta not make it such a bad thing to keep from others.” Damn it, why is he always right. Yeahhh, can’t tell him too much. Come on Caruso, your whole life of hiding things should surely prepare you for this shit.
“…okay. Well, hmm. So, you are right on the money, I like him…but, I maybe have a weird idea where, maybe everyone can win?” Rodger tilts his head at that, looking at the tree in front of Caruso.
“Oh? And what is this brilliant idea that, so you know, has to give us good info, while you still like him.”
Yeah asshole I’m not that dumb- calm down me.
“So…what if, I can, give him such a good time, he never wants to hurt things ever again. I have been tracking his attacks…and you know something Rodger?” Rodger hums, in question.
“What?”
“…in the last 5 weeks, where we have, mostly been fucking, he has only attacked, 3 times.” Rodger’s eyes shine at that,
That’s his lowest frequency. He generally does it twice a week…but that’s much less than half, like. 3 tenths the amount? Jesus.
“…Just how good at sex are you? Like I know you’re a slut, but still.” Caruso laughs, masking his own pain at that question.
Oh if only you knew buddy…I’m a fucking filthy, piece of shit. Thank you, Uncle and assholes in co…yeahhh, I get a little why Victoria would want to fuck up some people, and even change their DNA against their will…
He keeps smiling, internally reminding himself that the people who hurt him in such a manner are in jail, or dead, and Caruso is not. He is free…to mess around with older men, but that’s a seeeeperate thing. Totally.
“Caruso? You good? I’m sorry, I should really not, call you that. No one should.” Caruso shakes his head, smacking it a bit.
“Oh no! Its cool, I just…zoned out. Um, to answer your question…well he and I did have sex for 6 hours straight. And it was the first night, YAAA BOYYYY!” He laughs, inhaling a bunch of his weed while cheering his fist up. Rodger raises his brow at it, with wide eyes.
“D-aaamn. Really? How the fuck. Fluids, how do you not. Run out of?” Caruso wiggles his eyebrows in exaggeration. Rodger rolls his, while inhaling once again.
“Sheesh. Good, for you I guess? But jeez man, you really uh, like the eccentric one’s, do ya?” Caruso leans back up against the lighthouse, hiding his garbage in a can under a stone. He takes Rodger’s finished cigarette, stuffing it in the can as he thoughtfully says.
“…honestly, I like him cause…he’s considerate, and interesting to listen to…and like, really likes me. More than…any other guy I’ve been around.” Rodger wobbles his lip for a second, wondering where the self-confident ego-maniac from his high school years went.
“Awww man, I, don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You’re some, hot stuff.” Caruso in turn wobbles his lips, easily effected by the compliment, from a, at least 99% straight man, from what Caruso can tell.
“Aww, really?”
“Course…at the very least, you put effort into your look, and the results show.” Caruso gets fonder at that, smiling while looking straight at his feet.
“…thanks. You know, Buzz can think he’s my best friend, cause we live together, and I do think we are, amazingly awesome friends…but you know, you’re my, real best friend, right?” Rodger laughs, wrapping his arm around Caruso’s neck.
“Aww, course I do bud, you sweet sappy shit….can I ask some questions about the Victor situation. I’m dying to know,”
“Yeah yeah I’ll answer in the car. Come on! I wanna go!” They head around the lighthouse, finding Rodger’s electric car, one that he no doubt spent too much money on, and probably too much time fixing up to have things he likes. Like heated seats, and booming radio speakers. Caruso gets in, casually crossing one leg over as Rodger puts on his classical music playlist, something he claims helps with his road rage. He then buckles up and drives out, while Caruso curiously asks,
“Sooo, what’d you wanna know?” Rodger scratches his chin in thought, deciding on how to ask questions in a linear way.
“Okay! So, did you, come up with the spy plan first, or the, hookup with Victor plan first?” Caruso hums, unconsciously rocking in his seat.
“Ummmm. Yes? Like, I met Victor first at a bar, didn’t recognize him when we got to talking…I don’t know, I liked his voice, he wasn’t boring, or unkind. I really, really liked the way he dressed and put makeup on…and thennn, I saw his licence. And well…I wanted to come up with an excuse to, still screw him. Cause, Buzz was being his usual over worrying self, saying I could’ve been eaten…heh, jokes on him, I was eaten exactly how I wanted.” He sticks his tongue out, still proud at the joke he came up with, that very night all those weeks ago. Rodger rolls his eyes, not hiding his own smile at the stupid joke.
“Yeahh, pretty sure that was less of a Buzz worry, and more, well, realistic expectations? But so, why’d you still wanna sleep with him? You do know there are in fact fish in the sea, that are not from the time of the Triassic period?” Caruso rolls his eyes, shoving his hands in his armpits.
“Yeah, I know I know. But…I don’t know, we click like, so well Rodger. We both like old movies, dressing nicely, talking like, so much. We both hate people, and have had, the shittiest of shitty exes-“ Rodger interrupts him to curiously ask,
“What kind of people does Victor Veloci date? Like, he hates people, who would he, even bother trying to like?” Caruso points to himself,
“Uh, me dumbass? I think…he seems to like guys that make him laugh and, care about his needs. To be honest, he seems to have, fairly low standards for men…then again, as a gay guy, I get where he’s coming from…I think that’s another reason I like him.” Rodger raises his brow in confusion.
“Cause he’s gay?” Caruso shakes his head, trying to come up with a good way to describe it.
“No. Like, that’s nice, but…he get’s that, my brain is…not in the best condition, normally…but he, doesn’t let that, dissuade him from, talking to me, or learning about me…instead it, almost feels like, we can, get each other, over that. Like, I get, partially why he’s, really unhappy with people. And well…he get’s, partially why I, put on a big show and, at times pretend to, be cooler than I actually am…we just, get each other. You know?” Rodger frowns, thinking to himself,
Wish I felt like that…I’ve dated plenty of girls…maybe not as many as Max, but certainly enough that, I should’ve felt like that at some point, shouldn’t I have? And yet…well I guess Caruso has always been better at romance than me…and Fiona...I guess better at Max at this stuff, in the quality of a relationship, but still…I wonder when, or even if I’ll, meet the person who, gets me.
“…Rodger? I think you missed the turn.” Rodger shakes his head, attempting to remove his lonely thoughts.
“Huh, oh uh sorry man. Um, I was gonna make a stop at the market, how late are you for your, thing…are you late?” Caruso hums, looking at his phone. He beams, seeing a text from the very person they have been talking to.
Hello darling! I can definitely still meet you today, but, if it would not be too much trouble, could you meet me for 6 instead of 5:30? I needed to pop out for something, so I may be a little late.
Caruso smiles harder at that, his eyes brightening with each word. He texts back,
Sure! My best friend is gonna drop me off probably, I bet I can waste time with him. See you soon sweetheart.
“Sure Rodger, store first is good.” Rodger looks over briefly, noticing Caruso grinning like an idiot, and staring at his phone. His face is dusted with a pink hue.
Well, good for him. He deserves a win…and if Victor Veloci does do anything, he will have somewhere between 5 to 15 people avenging his honour real quick.
And so they make their way to the same family market that Caruso went to, when he made breakfast for Victoria on their second night together. The market is interesting, the more Caruso and Rodger make their way through it. Sure, it has typical grocery items, like meat, dairy, fruits and vegetables. What it also has though, is hardware parts, tools to fix cars, and cleaning instruments.
“Soooo, why are you looking for weird brushes?” Caruso asks, as he follows Rodger to the back of the store, watching him click his tongue at each brush.
“Well, ugh. My mom had a party with her colleagues, like, last week? We now have a shit load of wine bottles, that I would love to reuse for water, oil…really anything? But they are weirdly shaped, they have like, a wide base near the small lid, so I’m hoping I can clean it out with…something.” Caruso hums, looking off to the side, where there is makeup products, and nail polish.
“Damn, this is quite the assortment for a family store. Hmmm…hey Rodger.” He stares further at the products before him, ignoring the near-quiet cursing’s of Rodger, each time he finds a brush that, probably won’t work.
“Dammit, I thought that looked good- Yeah?” Caruso looks at each of the nail polish bottles, noticing a nice deep red one.
“Hypothetically, if someone were, into crossdressing, and being praised, do you think doing their nails would, be gender affirming, or too much?” Rodger raises his brow at that, oddly specific question.
“..Is this for you, or Victor?” Caruso cheekily says,
“It’s for noneya business.” Rodger rolls his eyes and tentatively answers,
“Well, hmm. I think it would, probably be nice to be, pampered? I don’t know man, how should I know?” Caruso now raises his brow in confusion.
“I thought you were dating that trans girl…Tiffany something.” Rodger barks a laugh at that.
“OH! Fuck I forgot to tell you. We broke up, like, two weeks ago?” Caruso softens his voice, as he grabs black nail polish to add to the red, and a bottle of clear polish.
“Damn really? Why, you seemed to like her?” Rodger ‘s face saddens, as he finally chooses an oddly shaped brush, that he’s pretty sure would’ve actually been for a toilet.
“I did, but well…her parents are, apparently supportive of, her being a girl, but…” Caruso grabs nail polish remover after he looks a couple minutes for them.
“But?” Rodger rubs his neck awkwardly, thinking of his last exchange with her.
“…Well, her parents are, apparently, part of the KKK?” Caruso widens his eyes in complete shock, nearly dropping his things, if it weren’t for Rodger cleverly catching them with his basket.
“WHAT? The fuck, how do you have enough emotional intelligence to, accept and understand trans people, but still be part of the KKK?” Rodger shrugs,
“I don’t know man, it was, weird. Like, she wanted me to meet them, but she was worried about, well, them still being a part of that? I don’t understand, like she was, awkwardly smiling while explaining the whole damn thing, so maybe it wasn’t a big deal?” Caruso shakes his head aggressively,
“Uh, no. That is a super big deal! Like, how could she possibly think that was a good idea? Hell, why would she even still have a good relationship with her parents, knowing they do, that? Fucking crazy.” Rodger tilts his head back and forth, as they look through the aisles.
“I mean, I don’t, think she herself was racist? And she did, say it was, a weird organization for them to be a part of? For all I know, maybe she was, trying to prove a point to them, by dating me? I don’t know, I broke up with her as soon as she told me…should I have given it a second shot? Like, maybe it was a rebellion thing, and I would’ve been absolutely fine?” Caruso narrows his eyes at that.
Despite the fact that, Rodger is probably the most intelligent member of their group, he also is someone who, tries not to assume bad intentions in others. He typically assumes people are ignorant, before they are evil. It is partially the reason that Caruso feels comfortable talking about the Victoria situation with Rodger. He is more likely, than all other members of their team, to not assume he is doing something bad, but instead examine the, likelihood, of all possible scenarios, and even find that Caruso, could be making a good decision, somewhere in all of his bad ones.
That being said, Caruso also knows Rodger’s greatest weakness, besides his large ego, which has gotten better from therapy and maturity, is his inability to land on a single choice, or perspective. Caruso likes to make fun of him for it, as it is largely a result of him being in academia for so long. This is also the biggest difference between Caruso and Rodger; Caruso is someone who comes up with an idea, goes with it, and doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions, likely a reason he couldn’t get behind regular schooling. Rodger on the other hand, is someone who thinks of an idea, finds as many problems with it as he can, before either coming up with a new idea, or just scraping it all together when he thinks there are too many cons with his ideas.
This is also why Caruso finds they work together so well; Rodger is good at nitpicking things until they are almost perfect, and Caruso is good about improvising and, making Rodger actually go through with the idea, even if he doesn’t have all of the kinks worked out. They are each others checks and balances in this sense.
This also applies to regular human interaction, which is what school feels like to Caruso, but for Rodger. Often, he will overthink simple interactions, until he has a mental breakdown, realizing that socializing can’t be quantified as easily as a school problem. Thus, when Rodger is unsure of an interaction he has had, he often goes to Caruso for support, as Caruso is good at simplifying, the most likely reason a person did, something. He may not always be correct, but at the very least, he can comfort Rodger’s overthinking mind.
So, to Rodger’s own confusion over, such an odd interaction, Caruso simply says,
“Dude, I think you made the right call. Like sure, maybe she wasn’t racist, but…okay, lets say I was dating a guy who’s family, was part of the Westborough Baptist Church. And lets say, he wanted to introduce me to them, knowing that they want gay people dead…do you really think, it would be worth it to, meet them, and see if they, maybe might change their mind?”
“…No.”
“Why?”
“…Because, risking your life is not worth, potentially changing two bigots minds? Like, the likelihood of them, straight up murdering you, is wayyy too high of a risk.” Caruso claps his hands, approving of Rodger’s logic.
“Yeees! And for the very same reason, you should, absolutely not have taken up her offer to meet them, since, you know, they will absolutely murder you if you do.” Rodger points out, physically and verbally,
“…maybe. We don’t know if they were actually going to murder me.” Caruso rolls his eyes at Rodger’s absolute need for correction.
“Yeah I guess, but is that really a hypothesis you want to test? That would be so stupid, risking your life, on the very off chance, that they could change their minds.” Rodger raises a brow, lightly laughing at that
“And, what exactly are you doing with Victor if not risking your life, on the very small chance he won’t go through with his plans?” Caruso points out,
“Uh, buuut, I took a calculated risk. I could’ve easily gotten help, and I, realized he didn’t know who I was.” Rodger looks at the ceiling, taking a deep breath, trying to not call Caruso a stupid, dumb, idiot.
“And how, for fucks sake, do you know for a fact he doesn’t know who you really are.” Caruso uses both of his hands to gesture to his body,
“Bro look at me, do I look, anything like I did when I was 17? I have curly, brownish-black hair now! I dress more casually, and I’ve gained a good 40 pounds at least in the last eight years!” Rodger’s eyes look him up and down. Critically he says,
“Ehh, but you have the same face, and eyes. You have the exact same favourite colour as you did back then, you know, what your hair colour used to be!…I don’t know Caruso, I think you’re at least a little bit recognizable.” Caruso wags his pointer finer back and forth.
“Ah ah ah but! You know me well! Before the look change, I’m pretty sure Victor’s seen me a total of, maybe 3 times?” Rodger huffs, as they get further in the aisles, looking through the meats and pre-cooked meals section.
“Alright man, whateeeever you say, I hope the sex is worth it.” Caruso stoutly replies,
“Super worth it! Dude, I have never met someone who matches me, freak, for freak, in every possible way. It’s awesssooome. Plus, Victor is never boring, there is always something cool or exciting going on when I’m with-“
“Caruso?” Caruso looks to the side, noticing, Victoria, dressed in something that, is surely a reference to American 1950’s wives. She has on a wide-brimmed black hat, underneath with she has on dark red lipstick, and light eyeshadow. She has on a simple black short-sleeved dressed, detailed with red roses around, along with a big red ribbon on the back of her dress., Rodger widens his eyes, noticing the stature of the woman is, well clearly like the very person they were talking about in their conversation. Though her makeup is nice, it does nothing to hide her recognizable jaw, and unlike the night before, she has no wig on.
What the…does Victor Veloci have a twin sister?
Automatically, Caruso gets overexcited, waving and enthusiastically saying,
“Hey Victori-ahhhhh. Um, heh, well that’s funny?” Feeling confused, Rodger asks,
“Are you Victor Veloci’s sister?” Caruso tilts his head, lip speaking to Victoria, “Should I go with that?”
Victoria awkwardly chuckles at that,
“Oh, that’s a good one to use…are you one of Caruso’s friends?” Victoria hopes, if it is the case, he would be able to keep a secret like Caruso has up to this point.
“Yeah, what about it?” Instinctually, Rodger moves in front of Caruso, on the off chance this mysterious person has the same intent on bringing the dinosaurs back as Victor Veloci.
“Ah well, could you keep a secret, like him?” She raises her brow, in question. Caruso easily says,
“Ah, Rodger’s good about that, he’ll think it’s cool.” Rodger raises his own brow.
“Huh? What’s cool, what secret?” Victoria takes a small breath, saying,
“I am not…Victor’s sister, but rather…under this I am Victor Veloci…this is quite separate from my regular work, if you wouldn’t mind, keeping it to yourself.” Rodger blinks at that, processing for a good minute,
Girl…Victor is a girl…or likes to dress like a girl?....ooooooohhhh, crossdressing kink.
“Oh don’t worry! Rodger is very good at keeping things to himself, riiight?” Caruso elbows Rodger in the stomach, making him cough.
“Ack! Yes, sure…wow, you really don’t recognise us.” Rodger speaks to himself, for what he thinks is a quiet enough tone that only Caruso hears him. Unfortunately, Victoria does in fact hear him, having better hearing than most humans. She tilts her head asking,
“Hmm? Have I, met you two before now? I, well I know I met Caruso a, little over a month ago, but, I’m afraid I have terrible memory for faces, doesn’t help with weekend drinking every now and again” She awkwardly rubs her neck, looking sincerely like she’s apologetic to not recognize them.
RODGER! THAT FUCKING, HE- Come on Caruso, come up with a good, lie, but true- GOT IT!
“O-Oh, Rodger mentioned this to me earlier, but uh…I think you may have been a sponsor for our high school?”
……oh yeah Caruso, great way to bring up the, age difference…weee.
Both Rodger and Victoria raise their eyebrows, and stare at Caruso incredulously.
“R-really? Goodness I, really don’t remember you two then, I have sponsored, quite a few schools across the country…what was the name of the one you both attended?” Rodger further raises his brow, at what he hear to be genuineness out of someone he has only ever known to be an evil liar.
“Uh, it was Kittery High School.” Victoria scratches her chin, in thought.
“Hmmm, I believe I’ve been there, once or twice? Did the Raptors ever go there for recruitment” Caruso nods smugly,
“Why yes they did, I know because I got an athletic scholarship from them one year.” Rodger narrows his eyes, unimpressed.
“Also probably because you went to school there?” Caruso guffaws at that, tilting his head in fake offense.
“I knooowww where I went to school Rodger, just let me seem impressive in front of the pretty lady, jerk.” At this point, Rodger completely discombobulates internally, questioning how barely over a month, Caruso can go from calling their enemy a monster of an asshole, to a pretty person that he is inspired to impress.
What the fuck…I know he’s attracted to red flags often, but how the fuck can he, adore someone this much who, is literally trying to take over the planet.
Victoria giggles at Caruso’s boisterous nature, covering her mouth as she does. As Rodger really has no where to look at, he notices this gesture. Behind her hand, as Rodger is far enough to the side it’s easy for him to see, her canine teeth…dinosaur teeth, grow just a bit past what would be considered a few abnormal inches. They go back to normal a moment later, but it just cements a theory for Rodger,
Victor…Victoria, is probably actually into Caruso…she like, lost her dinosaur form, from laughing at something stupid he did?...Huh, maybe there is a way to, have…her, not want to turn us all into dinosaurs…if Caruso seduces her well enough, maybe she’ll get too distracted to, focus on her plans. Which, if any of the Dino Squad could successfully seduce someone, it would be Casanova Caruso, the one with the highest body count of the Dino Squad…probably, I do not wanna know Ms. Moynihan’s body count.
So, Rodger decides to go with it, and not snitch to Ms. Moynihan, which he secretly suspects he should choose, but all the same, he tries to confidently say,
“Wellll, I guess since you came here, you and Caruso are going to leave together? He mentioned the same to my friends and I just today, about you two doing things since, what, start of September?” Caruso blushes, as Rodger cheekily reveals as much as possible, definitely to get back at Caruso for making him part of such an elaborate lie.
“U-uh yeah I guess. A-assuming, you would want to leave together, Victoria?” She looks between the two of them, scratching her chin in thought,
“Oh, well I would be happy to, as long as I am not disturbing your time together?” Rodger shakes his hand at that.
“Nah nah it’s all good, I got what I came for…I think?” He takes another look at the brush he got, hoping the shape will shrink enough to go in the bottles. He gestures this brush to Caruso, clearly wanting clarification over it’s usefulness.
“Right, Caruso? You think this will work?” Caruso narrows his eyes at the brush, wrapping his fingers around it.
“Mmm, this part I think needs to be smaller to fit.” Rodger curses at that, as Victoria snickers into her palm, trying to keep her own dirty thought to herself. She clears her throat, her finger placed right in front of her lips, so that she does not start a coughing fit from years of inhaling chemicals she probably shouldn’t have.
“Hm, hm! Um, what exactly are you trying to clean with it?” Caruso nonchalantly answers,
“Oh he’s trying to reuse wine bottles, but Mr. Clean here wants to make sure there’s not a speck of dust in them.” Rodger rolls his eyes at that, curtly responding,
“Oh whatever, I’m gonna be putting new things in them, might as well make sure alcohol’s not in them to screw up the process.” Victoria snorts, seeing Caruso getting ready to continue bantering, with his pointed finger to the sky. To save him from a possible fight, she cuts in to say,
“Well, if you want to be completely certain that there’s no residue, I’d recommend mixing hot water and vinegar, or if you don’t mind the smell, bleach and baking soda would work just as fine.” Rodger raises his eyebrow, tapping his chin.
“Huh, why didn’t I think if that? The chemicals are strong enough, it would probably clean the whole thing without scrubbing…but, wouldn’t that leave it’s own residue?” Victoria waves dismissively at that,
“Oh not by much. And if you rinse very well with hot water a good few times, it will be squeaky clean in a jiffy.” Rodger hums, looking down at the now useless brush.
“Well, guess that means I don’t have to buy anything more today, awwwesome. Well, the basket is yours now Caruso.” He hands the basket over, now only filled with nail products. Victoria looks at it, in interest at the specific colours. Caruso wobbles his lip a little, realizing that Rodger is cutting off their time hanging out, for Caruso’s own joy.
“Aww, you sure man? I don’t want to leave you hanging?” Rodger shrugs at that, patting Caruso’s shoulder.
“Nah it’s cool man, you got your stuff to do and I have mine! Besides, I thought you wanted to impress a certain pretty lady?” He wiggles his eyebrows in an exaggerates manner, making Caruso blush and avoid the amused gaze of one Victoria Veloci.
“I…do.” Rodger fist bumps his shoulder. Caruso smiles gently at that, giving Rodger as good of a side hug he can, with the basket still in hand. Rodger smiles back, saying cheerily,
“Awesome, thannn you two enjoy your time together! Uh, thanks for the tip Victoria, I’ll take it under advisement.” She nods, offering her hand out to shake,
“But of course, it was a pleasure to meet your acquaintance Rodger.” Rodger internally curses, questioning the disguise all over again, when he sees that she’s wearing, albeit long and decorative red gloves, but gloves that could easily collect his DNA none the less.
Dammit Caruso, how much of your damn super powered DNA are you leaving at our enemy’s place? Ohhh I do not like that she can get my DNA like this…but, ugh, I guess I have to just, hope she’s actually being polite, and doesn’t remember me.
Rodger plasters on a fake smile, gently shaking her hand, hoping somehow his grip will change the place of contact, allowing less sweat to pass to her gloves. She raises her brow at it, but pulls away eventually to have a better hold on her own basket. Rodger gives them one final wave off, leaving them to go back to his place.
He sends one last text to Caruso before driving off, telling him that if his DNA gets stolen by her, then its Caruso’s fault, and Caruso’s fault alone for trusting her. Caruso rolls his eyes, pocketing his phone as he walks with Victoria around the frozen section. Curiously, she asks while looking at her glove,
“Does your friend have, some form of, fear of germs?” Caruso gulps, quickly thinking of a cover for, what would look like very strange behaviour, without the context of the text.
“Uhh, no he’s just, awkward. You know, the very book smart and socially, questionable skills at the best of time?” Victoria hums at that, looking carefully at the largest thing of beef she can find. Caruso assumes its to find the freshest. He gulps a bit realizing she’s actually looking for the bloodiest, when she appreciably grabs a juicer one beside it.
“Oh I can understand that then…so, because I am very curious, what’s the nail polish all about?” Caruso smiles, bumping her shoulder against his lightly.
“What, I can’t make your nails look nice? Besides, its part of a…special plan.” Victoria raises her brow, but it soon gives way to a fonder look, as she idly taps her nails against her leg.
“I…would like that, thank you. Hmm, well it’s a good thing you’re here, what would you like to eat this very night?” He swears Victoria gives him such a sultry, intimidating look, his knees are shaking at the very sight.
“U-ummm……duh um. Okay, so….I can’t, remember what the fuck you said, fuck you look so hot.” Victoria blushes bright red, bursting out laughing.
“Oh dear, I didn’t mean to have this effect on you. Hmm. Now I do wonder how you will be able to pay attention to a single word I say tonight, when…well let’s just say you don’t see what’s underneath, but you may loose your mind, when you do.” She whispers the second half in his ear, making his complexion seem comparable to the hue of the steak.
“…Oh you are gonna get it tonight.” She giggles, kissing his cheek as she curiously looks at the beyond meat patties. He shakes his head, flicking himself to get back all of his rational thoughts. While he attempts to make the blood rush back to his head, up top, she observes the various options.
“Hmm, now, I am, quite the opposite of a vegetarian so, which of these, tastes the best?” Caruso blinks for a moment, moving beside her and looking too.
“Um...it depends? What were you going to make tonight?” Victoria shrugs, absent-mindedly looking at her basket, which really only has pieces of steak.
“…not sure. Something simple? Hmmm…I know how to make hot pot?” Caruso jumps in excitement, clapping his hands.
“Yyyyes! I love love love hot pot! Oooh! I’m gonna be the happy hot pot boy, hehehe!” At the end of his sentence, he has reverted back to his mother’s tongue of Korean, dancing and saying the same thing over and over again like when he was a boy. Victoria’s eyes widen for a moment in shock, before crinkling when she chuckles as his eruptions of joy become incoherent, even to the most expert of Korean speakers.
“Well, I shall take that as a yes. Hmm, what would go in a vegetarian hot pot?” Caruso stops jumping around like a lunatic, to stroke his chin, almost to put up a professional front, after acting childish for a good couple minutes.
“Hmmm, I mean, anything really? I personally, super love fried tofu, like that good deep fried tofu, and like, usual shit load of veggies, oooh and kimchi, but the kimchi here is not gonna be as good as homemade ones, so we shouldn’t bother with that…I’m guessing you don’t have, a bunch of veggies at your place?” Victoria hums at that, as they go through the produce section, looking for potential ingredients.
“Mmm, I have shitake mushrooms, and quite a lot of sauces and spices. And actually, I do have some kimchi I bought from a nice older woman in my complex, which she made herself, so we will be fine for that.” Caruso makes a happy squealing sound, excited to have a taste of his birthplace again. Not to say his mom can’t make it herself, but he finds hers to tend to be blander than, say, when his halmoni gives them her own homemade variety, when she comes to visit.
They go through the store, chatting over anything that comes to pass. At some point, Caruso is curiously listening to Victoria rant over the incompetence of her annoying ‘friends’, from last night.
“And then, fucking Vanessa has, the AUDACITY, to send me a text this morning, asking if the 13th margarita was worth it, as if that bitch wasn’t the one to encourage me the night before! Not to mention miss prissy bitch princess sends me pictures after, of me dancing upside down…And fucking Mellllisa. That cunt has sent me, yet another bribe, for joining her in the competition, as if that bitch can’t figure out her own damn routine, I swear I don’t know why I hang out with them.” Caruso snorts, as they wait in line, unknowingly having come on a busy day for the store. He curiously asks,
“How exactly did you all meet anyways?” Victoria blinks, humming to herself.
“Good question, hmm. My it was some time ago. I want to say, the year was, 2010, at a party where, funny enough it was an 80’s night. We all were in the competition, and got similar enough scores that we decided to split it on drinks and foods, for the 4 of us. And then…that’s it, we’ve basically been going out for hangouts for the last…oh dear god that is 15 years, isn’t it?” Caruso sighs, sympathetic to Victor’s plight, thinking the years are going too quick.
“It unfortunately is, the times do be flying by…wayyy too fucking fast.” A person behind the cash register pretends to cough into their elbow, narrowing their eyes at their swearing. Caruso in turn rolls his eyes, as Victoria continues on.
“Ha! You can say that again. In any case…well I suppose I can ask, how did you meet your friends?” Goooooood question, oh how do I not tell the full truth, but some truth here, oooooooh….oh okay I got it.
“Uh, different times for some, but generally, we all starting hanging out in my bio class in…oh was it senior year or year before senior year…oh I don’t remember. That bio class was where I met my friend Buzz…officially at least, I like walked by him in the halls, but never talked to him. Rodger I met in my…14th probably year math class, thank fuck cause I was about to flunk. He’s partislly Puerto Rican, which meant he understood every time I would whine to myself in Spanish that I was gonna flunk, sooo he was nice enough to tutor me. Thank god, he also helped me get better at English. Hmmmm, I think he was even the one to suggest I try acting class to learn how to pronounce shit better” The cashier upturns their nose after having input all of Victoria’s groceries, in an annoyed voice saying,
“Would you like use cash or debit today miss?” Victoria coquettishly giggles, saying,
“My how sweet, calling me miss when you know I’m too old for that, thank you. I shall use my card, thanks.” Caruso snorts, when Victoria lightly elbows him, blocking him in case he tries to pay for the bill.
He doesn’t, now questionable over the amount of money currently in his own bank account.
“Oooh you. Thank you for the meal, in the bill and the making of the meal, you super sexy lady.” Victoria instantly gets red all over, gasping in a clearly happy way.
“You! How dare, right in front of a bunch of people. Shameless.” Caruso winks at her, ignoring the blatant glares, laughs, and cheers, from others around them.
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out…well you can, actually in some ways, please call me shameless when we-“ She puts a finger on his lips, thanking the clearly overworked cashier, and leaving. Caruso follows her, happily whistling to himself. They get in her car, now vacant of her driver. Caruso gets in beside her, continuing to answer her question from earlier,
“So anyways, that’s how I met Rodger. Fiona on the other hand, I met when I was…about 13, at a party we were both invited. We were…forced to take part in a weird kissing game, and she and I were paired together to go off, and do that. She and I were both quick to tell each other that there was zero interest, which bonded us for life, in a world full of homophobic assholes, we got each other. “ Victoria hums at that, making a turn as she thoughtfully asks,
“And Max? How did you two meet?” Caruso breathes out, thoughtful over his long friendship with Max, surely the longest he’s ever had, at least while living in America.
“Hmmmm, it has been, so damn long hold on……oh! Okay so, when I first moved here with my family, I was basically given, maybe a little over a week to learn English before starting school. And, well it was obvious I was really bad at it, I quoted wayyyy too many movies. As a result, I got bullied a bunch, and would fight a lot. Well, one day, after I was blatantly told that I’d get suspended if I punched another kid, I tried not to bother anyone. Unfortunately, main enemy number one on the playground didn’t like that, and tried to freak me out by jump scaring me from behind…which, well you know, why I wouldn’t react well to that…and uh.” Caruso gulps, his mind going over that day in question, when said bully and his friends would poke and prod at Caruso, noticing that he’d scream and cry every time they did, in a language none of them understood well enough to know he was begging for them not to touch him. Caruso picks under his finger nails, taking a deep breath, trying not to let his mind wander too far in the past.
“…it got, really bad. I ended up crying because I couldn’t fight back, and, well…I didn’t have the words to, explain why it, hurt me so much, in English or any other language really…so uh…oh right, Max! Yeah, Max saw it from the side, and pushed the other kid for me, telling him to not do this shit to me, or he’d be messing with him…which, as a kid was, extremely cool. I decided in that very moment to, do whatever I could to be his best friend…funny, how uh…how quickly things, changed between us over the years…but, uh yeah…so, I know you said you and, Joanna have known each other since you were babies, but how’d that meeting go? Like, same hospital, or parents knew each other?” He asks this question as Victoria parks under her building. The two grab the groceries, as she hums thinking of her answer.
“Hmmmm, well, Joanne is older than me, so I don’t remember exactly, but according to her, her mother brought her to, the hatc…birth of me and my siblings. Something about, showing her the miracle of childbirth, or some such nonsense…according to her, it was a very disgusting affair, but, she thought I was the cutest rapt…baby, of the bunch, so she would just stare at me a lot…probably also cause I was the smallest.” She presses the elevator button, leaning against the wall of the elevator, attempting to give her feet a break. Caruso leans against the same wall, his head gently resting on her shoulder. She smiles, moving her groceries to the side to give him more space. She continues talking, her own mind wandering through joyful, faint memories of a land before humanity’s time on earth would begin.
“…technically speaking, we spent a lot of time together, because she was forced to babysit me a lot…partially as my mother needed some help with so many little ones, and partially because Joanne’s mother…well, Joanne didn’t like playing with boys very often, and her mother wanted her to, eventually mat- uh, marry a man, so as to give her grandbabies. Well, since I was, very fragile and needed protection, our mothers thought it a smart idea to push us together as much as possible.” Caruso’s eyes widen in realization, trying to imagine his teacher being forced to, well do anything, the stubborn woman that she is, and has been since he’s known her.
“…Wait so, you became such good friends with her, because your parents wanted you to, get married?” Victoria nods, as they step out of the elevator to her floor.
“Pretty much. Jokes on the both of them, it didn’t matter how much time we spent together, we were about as attracted to each other as two positive sides of a magnet…I mean granted, if their goal was, for us to have the strongest companionship imaginable, then they would’ve succeeded in that sense…technically, oh but I fucked that one up, didn’t I?” She solemnly stares at her keys. Curious, Caruso follows her gaze. It’s a plain key chain, but the lanyard Caruso notices, is very musty, looking like it’s older than her keys. It looks as if it used to have a colourful design, perhaps even being rainbow at one point. Caruso comments on his finding,
“Was that hers?” Victoria hums, unlocking her door, after Caruso breaks her out of her daze.
“Well, technically it was a gift…kind of. We, well we use to share an apartment, so when we, broke off our friendship, she gave this to me…I’ve…I’ve never been certain if she intended to, give it back out of care, or vitriol.” Caruso raises his brow in confusion.
“What does vitriol mean?” Victoria blinks rapidly, having to focus while giving the answer.
“Oh um, it’s like…doing something, in a malicious way, in a sense.” Caruso hums, following her to her fridge, to drop off the groceries.
“Ooooh I see, you don’t know if, she gave you the lanyard out of love or hate?” Victoria nods, putting things away, as Caruso awkwardly leans against her counter, crossing his arms.
“Yes precisely…I’d understand, why she would, have hate for me towards the end of our friendship but…I don’t know…my stupid soft heart can’t help but…wish for her to, have cared for me still, even when, we stopped spending such time together.” She finishes putting away the groceries, cracking her neck after closing the fridge, her face displaying discomfort. Caruso twitches his lips, thinking about how his teacher had described Victoria in the past.
She said they had different opinions, which is like, the only thing she mentioned about their relationship. Hell, I didn’t even know they were friends…she’s called her plans evil…but, had she ever directly said she, hated Victoria? Hmmm.
“…what was, the fight you two had anyway?” Victoria’s eyes widen, looking around wildly.
Oh shit, I forgot, it was probably Dinosaur related. Or immortality related? Probably something she can’t fully tell me, shit.
“Uhh uhh um….it’s, complicated…fuck, how, do I explain this?...Alright, lets say…my friend, and I were…given special um, medication, to stay, healthy, and…living long. She um…refused to take this medication, citing that…she preferred to…die, naturally…this isn’t um, the exact issue, I don’t really know how to explain the, exact issue…but well…she, preferred, mmm….alright how about this. She was, a martyr, who, much preferred risking her life, and giving it to others than, taking care of herself. She also um…part of why she, wanted to, die sooner, was because she may have um…committed a, war crime of sorts while in the army, which she was told to do, by the American government. She didn’t realize the, impact of her actions until after having done them…she, experienced a great depression, did, quite a lot of substances…mostly to, kill herself…finally she, uh. Gave up on, taking that, special medication, told me she, wanted to live the rest of her natural life out, by teaching children, to atone for her crimes…while I didn’t disagree with her teaching, I did disagree with her um…refusing to, take the…medication? Not to mention she, also highly disagreed with my, job, said it was, well as harmful to humanity as her war crimes…which, I somewhat disagreed with? Kind, of. Ugh, the details are, much too complicated to fully explain, but, in essence, we had many, disagreements that, we could not, look over. She told me she couldn’t be my friend if I, continued on with my practices, and I told her I couldn’t be friends to a dying woman…my, looking back on that argument we were, much too cruel to one other.” Caruso nods every so often, partially to seem like he’s listening, mostly he’s doing it automatically, thinking through, everything she revealed.
…Holy shit. What? What the fuck? Special medication…is that, eating people? Did Ms. Moynihan refuse to eat people to stay immortal? OR! Is it the ooze? Or…what the fuck could special meds be? AND SHE COMMITED WAR CRIMES, WHAT THE FUCK? SHE BECAME OUR TEACHER, OUT OF GUILT FOR COMMITTING WAR CRIMES? WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK DO I DO WITH THAT? And no shit she disagreed with your ‘business practices’, YOU EXPERIMENT ON THINGS WITHOUT CONSENT, LIKE ME, YOU DAUGHTER OF A BASTARD-
“Caruso? You alright? You haven’t blinked for a good while.” Caruso finally blinks, lightly scratching his own arm, hoping he hides his confusion well.
“Oooh um, yeah I’m good! Just uh, digesting the, information…which uh. Well, I don’t know…if you two have really known each other since you were babies, well, why wouldn’t she still care about you?” Not like the whole mad scientist thing would ruin…huh, I mean, I care about her, and I know that, so maybe…WAIT WHAT DO I MEAN I CARE ABOUT HER? GOOD SPYS DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ENEMY YOU DUMB FUCK-
“Hmmmm. Perhaps…well uh. I shouldn’t taint the whole mood of the night with my, ceaseless ramblings.” She smirks, wrapping her arms around Caruso’s neck, breaking him briefly out of his own ceaseless mental ramblings. She leans in close to his ear, practically purring in his ear,
“Why don’t you tell me what that, ‘special plan’ of yours is, with the nail polish? I really hope it’s not being painted in odd places.” She pulls away during the last part of her sentence, raising her brown, some in worry, and some in amusement.
He blinks back to awareness, his excitement of his plan rushing back him to quick succession. He dryly laughs at Victoria’s compliment, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Oh don’t worry about that sweetheart, the nail polish is only gonna go on your nails…I guess we could try your toenails too, but I’m unsure it will work well with how much they’re gonna curl.” Victoria sighs, feeling Caruso kiss make light nips around her neck. She leans against the counter, in much the same position she out Caruso in during their first night. As his mouth travels from her neck to her collarbone, she makes small whines, allowing her fingers to drift through his curls.
He continues to slowly lick and kiss down her body, groaning when she tugs his hair at particularly enjoyable points of contact.
“Mm mmm so pretty, mmm…how, do you feel about edging on a toy, while I paint your nails?” Victoria gasps loudly at that, arching her back until her chest is smooshed against his face.
“Ooooh oh yes, that would be, oh fucking wonderful-mmmm!” He kisses her deeply, standing on the tips of his toes to reach her lips. She helps him by leaning down, while desperately pulling his head against hers’. Caruso’s hands wander down Victoria’s back, until they reach her thighs. All while still kissing her, he lifts her off the counter, making his way to her bedroom. She giggles and whines as he does this, enjoying the feeling of being manhandled, even by a man smaller than her in stature.
With great reluctance, he sits her on the edge of her bed, taking pride when he feels her arousal graze against his leg.
“OoohKAY! So…which toy you want?” He goes to the closet, opening up the secret compartment to reveal the wall of toys. Victoria bites her lip, watching his ass as he turns to open the door.
“Ohhh uh, hmm. Your choice?” Caruso hums to himself, his hips swaying side-to-side. Victoria leans back on the bed, watching as he thinks. His eyes land on one of her tentacle dildos, much like the one he found in her drawer the first night here. Curiously, Caruso asks,
“You have a preference between tentacle and human cock?” She bites her lip, tightening her thighs together in excitement.
“Ohoooh. Naughty man, you had to tempt me with one of the tentacles.” He laughs, grabbing a purple and blue one. He looks more around the door, startling a bit when he notices a large metal pole along the wood of the door.
“…Holy shit, how the fuck does that fit?” She lifts her brow in confusion.
“The tentacle? I know it’s, an unusual shape but I promise it’s not, humongous? At least, I didn’t think it was that large?” Caruso shakes his head, slowly dislodging the pole from the door.
“Nahhh, this. Like, how the fuck, would you not die putting this in? It doesn’t even have balls, or a stopper?!” She looks closer, bursting out in deranged laughter when she realises what he’s holding.
“OOOH OH FUCK! HHAAA! God. That, would absolutely break me in half…Caruso, have you never seen a stripper pole, that collapses?” His eyes brighten in intrigue.
“NO WAY! You know how to pole dance?” She blushes, but stands and takes the pole from him. She stands a bit from him, making the pole stick to the ceiling.
“Probably cant show a full set, I’m not very confident on this building’s infrastructure, but well. I can show a move or two.” He nods and sits on the bed, never a man to say no to a free show.
“Dammmn, how many fucking skills you got? Ooh, please tell me you know how to make glass bongs next.” She snickers at that, looking around her drawers for a special oil to use on the pole.
“God no! Oooh, that would be fun…actually, Joanne did take a class, I’d be shocked if she gave up her wake and bakes even to this day.” Victoria applies the oil, as Caruso thinks to himself,
Huh…Ms. Moynihan a stoner…I can see it, she does have that environmentalist hippie vibe…holy shit. This is such a weird way to get to know her, god I’m a terrible fucking person.
“…good to know. How um, how’d you come to learn how to, pole dance?” She blushes, remembering the experience in too much detail.
“Ooooh um. Heh, it was uh, out of, need? I, wasn’t quite getting enough customers and, well gay bars were, just starting to introduce male strippers. I figured I could make more tips doing that then, well doing tricks. Course I wasn’t the, most popular of the bunch…probably didn’t help I was on a shit load of drugs, that made my dancing well, dependent on the amount of drugs I took before hand…very uh, stupid decisions I have made.” Caruso snorts, having the exact same thought to himself, well most days of his life.
“…I know what you mean…one of those decisions you start with like ‘Absolutely nothing could go wrong.’, and it immediately goes so wrong, you wish you never thought of it.” Victoria shrugs, positioning her leg a few different times, to let the memories come back to her.
“Well…sometimes…other times I, like the, mistakes I made…after all, no one else could’ve made them but me…sometimes. And well, this mistake did turn out, nicely I think.” She looks through her long list of songs, dumbfounded at which to choose. She hands it to Caruso, before siting next to him to pull off her stockings.
“Here, I am much too indecisive to choose the song.” He raises his eyebrows in interest as she yanks her stockings off. While looking through the song lists, he can’t help but ask,
“So, this gonna be a really hot dance, or you just worried about ripping the stockings?” She snorts at his first assumption, as she applies an oil to the pole.
“Well, I’m certainly going to try to make it hot…though uh, apologues if I falter, it has been some time since I’ve practiced. But no to your question, it’s just easier to dance around a pole with bare skin. Lets you uh, hold on to the pole. It’s why firefighters wear heavy clothes when going down poles, because they need to slide down them fast, while we need to stick to them for, well at least as long as the song in some competitive cases…found a song?” Caruso nods, excitedly showing her the song. Victoria tilts her head to read the name of the song, her lips quirking when she recognizes it as ‘Dirty Dancer’ by Enrique Iglesias and Usher.
“…Oh you have such a sense of humour, don’t you?” He smirks, mischievousness in his eyes.
“What? Too fast for you, old lady?” Her eyes grow wide in challenge. She rips the phone from him, placing it on her desk. She casually kicks out her rolling chair, nudging her head as if telling him to sit there. He does, scrambling up from the bed. He runs to sit on the chair, nearly making it fall sideways. He corrects himself, nervously smiling and sticking his thumbs up in encouragement.
Victoria giggles with her mouth closed, as she gets into position. The position being, her hip jutting out, eith her back to Caruso. She arches provocatively, making Caruso grip his chair to stop himself from spanking it. She takes a deep breath, speaking loudly,
“Siri, play Dirty Dancer, volume up.” The song begins, as Victoria twirls around the pole, angling her eyes to Caruso. Taking in her red flush, her sharp eyeliner, and well, the natural gravitoise that seems to flow from her gaze. All this added up, not only was his dick hard as fuck, but well, Caruso knows one thing for sure.
Oh. He’s going to have such a fun night tonight.